Are nine bridesmaids too many?

Question

My fiancee says i can't have 9 bridesmaids, my family is full of girls and i don't want to leave anyone out. I'd also like to have my bestfriend as my maid of honour. My fiancee says i should have about 3 or 4. What do you think?

Answer 1

personally i think 9 is to many, i had five and my vicar was annoyed with me, he said you only need one person to hold the flowers at the end of the aisle! grumpy git

Answer 2

If you want nine, you have nine. I would say though, that this will be expensive- dress, transport, gifts etc., but if you can afford it why not? As a rule of thumb, the bigger the wedding, the more acceptable it looks to have more bridesmaids. Ie. if you are having 100+ guests it is ok, but if there are only 10 guests left who are not in the wedding party, it will look daft. I think it also depends if they are all 'big' bridesmaids, or if any are flowergirls. A mixture will not look too much.

I am worried as we have between us 3 nieces, 2 nephews and 3 cousins who want to be bridesmaid. I do understand your dilemma. Another option is have none at all so nobody is left out. Good luck

Answer 3

I think it is fine. I will be having 7 bridesmaids and a maid of honor. I have a sister so she is the maid of honor. he has a sister so that is 1 bridesmaid I have 3 best friends so now we are up to 4, 2 girls have made me bridesmaids in there wedding so now you are at 6, and then the last one is my best friend from college who will eventually make m a brides maid. It is hard to leave people out. Most of my family members have had 4-8 bridesmaids. I undertand that a lot of time you just can't leave out people.

Answer 4

9 or 900 it is your day and it is what you want. Certainly where I live you pay for everything for your bridesmaids so certainly the cost would be a consideration for most people. However from being on Yahoo answers I realise who pays for what depends on where you live. Think your Fiancee is may be having the jitters. When my daughter got married she had 5 bridesmaids and 2 flowers girls and her Fiancee was the same thinking it was too much. However, us women can usually get round them can't we? Everyone is different my other daughter is getting married this year and only wanting 1 bridesmaid. I am sure it will all work out for you. Best wishes.

Answer 5

The thing I have learned about weddings is that you will get so much conflicting advice, do this, don't do that etc...in the end you have t choose what you want, it's your day after all. Explain to your fiancee that it would cause more offence than is necessary if you choose 3 or 4 and leave the rest out, and what sort of atmosphere will that create at the wedding? It is a lot of bridesmaids, but better to have too many than cause offence.

Answer 6

Personally i think 9 is too many i dont think it would look great on the alter and think of the cost. i understand though about not wanting to leave anybody out but surely with so many girls everyone will get to do bridesmaid at at least one wedding.
why not sit them all down tell them your best friend is maid of honour and you want 2 other bridesmaids as that is all you want and can afford and the fairest way to do it is pick their names from a hat and have it all ready and do it there and then.
i would say that is the best and fairest way and remember for every bridesmaid you need a groomsman so that would be another 9 people making it 20 people at the alter....
good luck x

Answer 7

seriously....9 is too many. Too many for your stress as well. Plus having that large pary at the altar or wherever starts to overwhelm the look of the bride up there. Thnk about it! When the photographer takes yall group picture....he has to be a mile back to get the whole party in the image. You end up looking like a bleep in white in the center. The day is about yall not them. You shouldnt have to worry about burning bridges by having everyone you are bus with in the party. Plus it looks tacky if most of the wedding is on the stage and not in the audience. I've seen it!

Answer 8

Its your wedding so it should be your decision but if I were you I would get all nine girls together for a few drinks explain that you would like all of them to be your bridesmaid but it just isn't possible ie would look too silly and be way too expensive (dresses, hair, make-up, shoes, gifts etc..) get each of them to write their name on a piece of paper and put them into a hat and pick out 2 or 3 names and they will be your bridesmaids, that way YOU havn't chosen them so no-one can get cross with you for not picking them, i opted for my sister as my only bridesmaid no friends as there are too many to choose from, good luck

Answer 9

My wife to be is having 8. The key thing here (from me being the groom) is that she is also involving my niece who is three years old as well as suggested that the best man's girlfriend could be one too.

He needs to understand that you will have promised then from a young age that they would all be bridesmaids at your wedding.

There is only really the cost to consider as you will have to buy a dress for all of them. Ours came in at around £130 per person but also if they carry flowers this might make it up to £150 per bridesmaid.

Answer 10

You can have as many bridesmaids as you want,but normally it is around 3-4, think of all the hassle getting ready,getting to the church,cost and don't let the amount detract from the fact that it is your special day to shine and not be hidden behind so many bridesmaids.

Answer 11

Definately. Anyway isn't marriage meant to be about the commitment you and your fiancee are making together for your future life?

Why not pick the youngest girl as flower girl and leave it at that. Then have a good day or evening out with everyone else instead. Explain that it would be soo hard for you to leave anyone out, and too expensive, so you've chosen the youngest as a symbol of newest life as you head to your new life.