How do I keep one of my cats from being aggressive to another one of my other cats?

Question

We recently introduced a new female cat to our household. She is playful, energetic, and loving to people. She also plays with our male cat who appears to enjoy playing with her. However, this same type of play activity is not tolerated by our other female cat (the male's sister) who now lives almost entirely under our dining room table now. Our female cat is shy to begin with. The new cat now shows aggressive behavior to our female cat when she tries to use the litterbox, eat, or drink. We have placed several food/litter stations in the house but the behavior continues to exist. We have tried "Feliway", separating the two cats and reintroducing slowly, but nothing seems to limit this aggression. If anything, it only seems to get worse. Now, our female cat is scarred to venture into other areas of the house. She is not losing weight or messing on the floors so she is eating and using the litterbox. How do I get these two cats to learn to leave with each other?

Answer 1

As the other posters have already said, some cats just need time to work things out between each other while others never get along.

Try taking a clean towel and rubbing each cat with it,to mix their scents together on each of them.Try doing it each morning for a while and see if it helps.

Another thing to try is to isolate the aggressive female every time she bullies the shy one.

Answer 2

When the new cat shows this aggressive behavior towards the other female, put her in a room by herself. Don't let her do this to your shy cat. Give it extra attention to make her more comfortable. The new cat is doing this to the shy cat because she can. If your cat doesn't put a stop to it, then you have to. Are they both adults or is the new one a kitten? Give the shy cat a place of her own with litter box, food, etc. Somewhere other than under the dining room table. How is she with your Male cat? Does she play with him? Not knowing the age, or background of these cats makes it difficult to give any further advice. I had the same situation as you at one time. Only it was the two females that played together and my male didn't like the new female messing with him. Until she started bringing him presents! (birds, lizards, moths, grasshoppers) He is old and can't hunt anymore. Of course you can't train your new cat to do that. My kitty was just a real sweetheart, she finally one him over.
A few days later she was hit by a car and didn't survive. My Male cat is still looking for her, and you can tell he still misses her. I do too.
Every situation with cats is somewhat different, so you never know what to do, if anything. Good luck

Answer 3

i had a very similar situation in my home and short of being rich enough to consult an animal psychiatrist like Oprah, you are not going to like my answer. usually the resident cat becomes the aggressor, but in my case i had two cats that got along well about 2 yrs old each. i took in a beautiful white long hair which happened to be very pregnant and six kittens later i placed her
and four of her kittens in good homes. i kept two, an easy going male and an aggressive white female. as they were born in my house there was plenty of time to get used to one another, but the white female became the queen of the castle and constantly
exhibited the exact same behavior of which you speak. this went on for the next 15 years or so and the older female tabby
became more and more neurotic
and took to hiding under the couch terrified to come out. it was
painful for me to endure as well, and yet i was so fond of both of
them i let it go on all those years. eventually the tabby began
defecating behind the couch and the male also got in a few licks
imitating his sisters activity. it continued until the tabby 20 years old finally passed after living a life of terror and i imagine loneliness. in your case i would advise you to place one or the other because i don't think it will get better. its a difficult choice
but one was there first and if the new cat is so cute and friendly
she might be easier to place. again i say that animals are like people and who can explain the animosity that some people or
animals just cant seem to let go of for each other. good luck with a difficult situation, but the first lady of the house deserves
to live a pleasant life either with you or in a welcoming home,
sorry, perfecta

Answer 4

I agree with sweetr72 but I would add that you shouldn't play with him with your hands at all. Offer him a toy or let him chase a laser light or string that you pull. I would guess that since you got him from the shelter that he is neutered but do you know how recent that is? He may still have some hormone issues and when he gets excited that can make him become aggressive. Give the poor little guy some more time, after all even if he never becomes a lap kitty you adopted him and now the responsibility is yours to keep him as happy as possible. He may never be the baby you had hoped for but he will still be able to entertain you with kitty antics and once the kitten grows up some I bet that will help to calm the other cat down as he sees the way the kitty trusts you. God Bless and my best wishes for you and your babies. neakybird

Answer 5

Did you try the Feliway spray or diffuser? I had a very similar situation and the spray didn't work very well so I brought it back and picked up the diffuser. I put it in my bedroom and after letting it run for a day, I put both cats in the room with the door shut. After an hour, they were cuddling together on the bed.

Answer 6

~Leave them alone in the house together. We have two cats that are both fighting to be the "boss." When we leave and come back, their fine, sleeping in the same room and closer than ever. Just a thought.~

Answer 7

you should try and put them all in a small box. then, once that is completed, they will eventually try and escape. this will only be solved by massive amounts of cat nip. after the cat nip has been applied, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

oh, you might tape the box shut for added entertainment.

hope this helps!

Answer 8

It won't be easy. It may take some time, but try. Try to put them together while they sleep. They may wake up together and like it! I did that with mine, but they were only kittens.

Answer 9

let them have a break from each other for a while. ( it might work..)