Other side: appears outwardly confident, asks questions that reflect back negatively on the person to whom the question was asked, has lied about things which are important as well as insignificant, provides an occasional smattering of honesty.
Self: control situ by not giving an answer, appearing rude, but no choice, any ideas to gain more intelligent social skills, hope relative's behaviour will change but so far, not.
2007-02-22 18:55:24 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
At the time of writing: 12 brilliant answers, knowledge is power hence the incentive to interrogate, she is astute and does this in a polite manner, but still asks even though I did ask in response "Why would you ask something like that?"
2007-02-24 20:24:29 · update #1
I have found that it is helpful to answer a question with a question. Not a "get in their face question" but another question.
2007-02-22 19:01:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a doozie on your hands. If I were you I would look at the person with a "sweet smile"...when they have finished "questioning" you just keep smiling. As they are still waiting for an answer just tell them that you wanted them to get all the questions out before you start answering them.
Better yet?.. When they start, excuse yourself for a moment (to get a pen and paper if asked, but do get them) sit down with them and if they start asking too many questions, hand them the pen and paper and ask them to write thier questions and when you get a chance and are not too busy, you will be more than happy to answer what you can (or what you feel comfortable answering)... It just might make them aware of thier very impolite behavior. Also, make a list of questions similar to thiers and hand it to them for them to answer. I think they should get the picture.
BTW?... Is this person a narcissist? If you are not sure what that is, a/k/a NPD Narcissistic Personality Disorder... I know a few like that... Look it up and if that shoe fits you will then know how to deal with these type people. Good Luck!
2007-03-02 23:15:38 · answer #2 · answered by millstone7201 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since the offender is a relative, I'm assuming you won't tell them to go away, etc. I have found, at times, that it works to always answer "I don't know" or "I'm not sure". After you've answered in this way several times they get the idea that you're not giving any info. It's more of a non-confrontational approach.
Or, my favorite, tell them everytime that you don't understand the question. They will continue to try and explain what they were saying and you again tell them that you still don't get it. Eventually, they get the point and you don't come off as a rude person.
Or, change the subject. Every inquiry they make that you don't want to answer, immediately change the subject in a smooth manner.
2007-02-23 03:14:18 · answer #3 · answered by stardust23716 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes I just say, well that's an interesting question, why would you want to know that? That can take the momentum away from them. Or rephrase it and ask them basically the same question.
We have a guy who comes in to where I work now and is always fishing for information but only to use negatively against you. LIke he would say "how often does the staff check the grounds for dangerous conditions?" when we know he complains about everything and gossips constantly. Now I just say, "well, that varies, what do you need to know for?"
He hates that! He has kind of chilled out since he figured out we aren't going to play his game.
2007-02-23 03:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by Lt. Dan reborn 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For some people you must be blunt. With the strength of your convictions, say "I'm not going to answer your questions." If she continues to pick at your conviction not to say any more, just turn and talk to someone else. This is very effective. I had a boss who couldn't resist telling dirty jokes no matter how you asked him to stop. One day when just the two of us were working, he started in with the jokes again. And he wouldn't stop. I turned my back, and did not respond to him again until what he had to say regarded work. He never did that again.
2007-03-03 01:42:42 · answer #5 · answered by Jeanne B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dealt with my mother's constant questioning by using one word answers that require more detailed questions. Try that method as for every question there is a one word answer that will stop tha line unless the person has a very thick skin and will go into detail.
2007-02-23 03:00:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about appearing rude. Point out to the person who is asking questions that he/she is being rude. Do you really owe anything to this person? Do you owe this person any answers?
2007-02-23 03:00:06 · answer #7 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This one lady at my job does this. just be selective what you tell her and be vague. like for example, if she asking you whre you live, dont say " Oh 123 E broadway" just say " oh on the west side of town". then ask her something right back. so what street do you live on?
2007-02-23 03:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by lady26 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
usually i will say no, and apologize at the same moment when people try to dig too much from me when i'm not willing to reveal the info. that's pretty simple to do i guess. if you'd apologize and say no, still the person insists on digging the info, tell him to go to hell, they're shallow!!!
2007-02-23 02:59:30 · answer #9 · answered by williams 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask her why you should answer her question. Failing that give cryptic answers or throw the question back to her
2007-03-01 03:19:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋