It's been almost a year since thier affair ended. Even though they never had sex, it was a total emotional relationship. They talked everyday and said I LOVE YOU! I knew what was going on and believed him when he said he'd stop. It's been almost a year since it did end and now I can't get the whole thing out of my head. I don't try to think about it, I just do. I'm affraid it'll ruin us. He has changed for the better i just don't trust him and i'm always re-living the whole ordeal several times a day in my head. How do i get it out of my head so we can move forward?
2007-02-22 18:36:17 · 16 answers · asked by shannon m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Simply put, the only way that you're going to "get over being cheated on" is when you are good and ready to. Based on what you wrote though, I don't think you're even remotely close to being there.
You obviously really love this man, and have chosen to accept his apology for his actions. This is a huge difference from forgiving him. You seem to have alot of anger still over the issue and understandably so. If you're both dedicated to making this work, you're going to have to work on the communication and maybe even get counseling.
You really need to understand that these feeling aren't just suddenly going to go away. You will never just wake up one morning and be "fine" and trust him again. You have to work on this to make it OK again. Don't feel bad that it's been almost a year; you were the one that was betrayed and you will recover from that on your own schedule and no one else's. Take all the time you need, and talk to him about how you're feeling.
You can't just continue with the way things are, you have to make a choice. Either you work together to get through this or you have to part ways... but leading an unhappy life and 'hoping' that one day it will all be OK again is not healthy for anyone involved.
2007-02-22 18:51:39 · answer #1 · answered by Ali 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated once, even if it's emotional cheating (which can be the worst sometimes because it's just that: EMOTIONAL and so many feelings are involved), then he will do it again. As they say, "Screw me once, shame on YOU. Screw me twice, shame on ME".
I personally know what it feels like and I could NOT live with someone I couldn't trust.... no matter whether I loved him or not. We've been divorced 10 years now. It's a crushing blow, I KNOW. But I found someone else in the long run... but guess what? HE cheated too. So he's OUTA THERE too.
My advice is NEVER give up on love, but NEVER allow anyone to think there is a door mat on your back! GOOD LUCK SWEETIE!! STAY STRONG and remember: "That which does not kill me makes me stronger". I am very strong by now and honestly don't wanna get much stronger. I've also tried therapy and it was extremely helpful. I got rid of my insecurities, my fears, my anger, bitterness, etc. You will be in my thoughts.
2007-02-23 02:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by â?¥â?ªâ?«Karenâ?«â?ªâ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my ! Darling, I must say that this type of thing will not ever escape your mind.You should be glad that it wasnt a sexual thing between them two.The only thing you can do is try to push it aside and talk to someone that you do trust such as mom,best girl friend, let it all out.But never mentioned it to the guy whom did this to you cuz it will just refresh his memories on that.I have been through this before and it will take time to just let it go.The trusting part is the hard part, Its all up to you if you think you can trust again.As for me , i can barely trust and it does make the relationship go downhill.
Good luck!
2007-02-23 02:49:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey sorry to hear i am having a relationship problem too.. so i cant help much.. if u can be single that will be the best thing but .. like male and female r made to be togerther and if having a relationshiop u much keep in teach how each other think and let them know how u think alway.. if u keep it in side then it wont go no where but only making u go dizzy and that's a horrible feeling .. i know hmm well good luck .. bye
2007-02-23 02:42:07 · answer #4 · answered by Syn . 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to be with him if he loved someone else while he was with you?
That's worse than staying with someone that had sex with another person in my opinion. But whatever, not my place to judge.
From experience you will never be able to forget what happened, you may not think about it all the time but there will always be times when you do remember it. There's not much you can do about that one.
2007-02-23 02:42:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are You Married? if you are you need to make every endeavor to forgive.Otherwise You may consider splitting up and embarking upon a new romance. I repeat-------If you are married try to forgive and reconcile. Love Again
2007-02-23 02:42:54 · answer #6 · answered by EZMZ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find out where she lives...then get a letter typed up from the local clinic saying he needs more tests done as the last lot of results were inconclusive....should keep her away from him
2007-02-23 02:40:37 · answer #7 · answered by elshadon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People make mistakes, its their nature. Wouldn't you like to be forgiven if you were the one at fault?
Be positive and happy.
2007-02-23 02:43:41 · answer #8 · answered by sk|TTLes™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will take longer. and it's normal. tell him that.
that's the (high) price he has to pay for his wrongdoing.
trust has been torn
and rebuilding does take a while.
such can create healing for you and real change for the rascal.
2007-02-23 03:16:13 · answer #9 · answered by j_timberLate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counseling, cause you should ahve dropped hm a long time ago and i have no idea why you are still with him. thats just craazy
2007-02-23 02:38:36 · answer #10 · answered by BlizzardRun07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋