Help! Why can't I get any good answer with this question regarding sex in marriage?

Question

Help! Why can't I get any good answer with this question regarding sex in marriage?

I posted this question at the following address. But, no one seems to understand what I am getting at. Sex is also material. Sex has a biological effect on people. Is there some better way of explaining myself.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjX9BcgMZZZ5rskZhLSjrEPsy6IX?qid=20070221093441AAFRbix

Complete Question with Details:

How could a couple limit their dependancy on sex to solve problems in their marriage?
Why do people depend on sex so much to solve problems in the marriage? How could a couple limit their dependancy on sex to solve problems in their marriage?

I have seen in my own life and it seems apparent in the lives of so many that sex did not completely resolve all problems in marriage. However, sex does help two people to get used to each other so much so that when they start getting old and grey they may remain attached to each other.

What are some ideas or thoughts you might have on this?

There were some really great answers here. I had trouble deciding. I read through all the answers carefully. I gave a thumbs-up rating to those answers I especially liked. I chose the answer that I felt comfortable with.

A number of answers suggested that sex did only so much to do anything for any problems in a relationship. However, we see so many married couples turning to sex. This is obvious when a couple is producing one child after the next until they are just too old, tired and sick to have any more children! If the married couple does too much for contraception or unnatural sex then we see a vulnerability to swingerism, adultery and possibly divorce.

I believe this is a significant issue whether we are married or considering marriage. The hope is that there will be happier marriages, happier children and a happier world.

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Answer 1

In the first place, if you have a problem that you need to discuss to resolve, then you need to discuss it. That includes emotional and sexual problems as well as financial, child, or any other problem that has come between the two of you.
Sex was designed by God to cause bonding between two people. When you have sex with someone hormones are released that cause you to want to become attached to the person you are with.
Of course, if you are feeling a separation from your spouse then sex will help repair your hurt feelings and make you feel loving towards them again. This is biological and helps couples to get over the tough times. That doesn't change the fact, though, that there are problems in a marriage that just need either action or verbal communication to remedy.
If you are having a problem then you need to sit down with your spouse and talk about it. If you can't do this without using a trip to bedroom as an escape from the uncomfortable feelings that this arouses then you need to have these talks in the presence of someone else. Either a paid counselor or pastor/priest would be perfect in this role.
You NEED to, however, find some way of dealing with these problems so they can be resolved or they linger in the background forever and always stay between the two of you. Sex makes you close but if you want to be even closer than you need to remove these unresolved issues. You will be amazed at the feeling of relief, closeness, and love that this will generate between you if you can honestly do this.

Answer 2

Sex isn't going to solve problems in a marriage. You have to talk to one another and try to figure out what the problem is in the marriage. Sex is just one aspect of a marriage and communication is another. If you don't have communication, then sex is just, and this is a lack of a better word, band-aid. You'll still have the same problems when it's over.

Answer 3

Sex is honorable in marriage, & the bed is undefiled, Friend sex is part of marriage, But if you have a spouse that has physical problems or a sickness where they can not have sex, then they have to see that they took that spouse for better or for worse. In a marriage, with some they use sex to solve their problems, & really they have not solved one thing, To truely solve a problem in marriage, we have to look into God's word, There is many places in the bible that talks about marriage & situations in marriage, But the only true way to solve a problem without using scriptures is to be honest with each other, If a Husband & wife can not be honest with each other, sex is only a substitute for a problem.

Answer 4

The purpose of marriage is to have children. And it is impossible for same sex couples to procreate. If a person has homosexual inclinations, then that person is called to a life of chastity. There is nothing wrong with the person as an individual. He/She can have just as close a connection to the Creator as any one else. I knew a guy who was gay. He was a joy to be around; always seemed to be so at peace with himself. I would have been happy to have been in his circle of friends. He died a while back from leukemia. Admittedly, I do not want to hear the intimate details of a heterosexual couple either. My State voted on it... A marriage is between one man and one woman. And marriage is better for the children too. Just because coming from unmarried parents seems to be the "norm" doesn't make it okay.

Answer 5

I don't have sex with my girlfriend to solve any problems, i have sex with my girlfriend to bust a big nut and that's all, i talk to my girlfriend to work out any trouble we may have. But I'm such a good guy we don't fight all that much and when we do fight it is about stupid stuff for sure. For women sex is a lot more emotional and for men it is all physical, so the women strengthens her bond with her partner when they have sex. But i don't have sex to solve an issue in our relationship.

Answer 6

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Making_love
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_partner
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_Act
http://health.discovery.com/centers/sex/marriage/marriage.html
http://www.themarriagebed.com/

Keeping the sexual spark alive in a marriage or in a long-term relationship is easier said than done. However, couples who take time to cultivate and maintain healthy and satisfying sexual relations tend to be more connected with each other and do not suffer from depression, heart problems and other health maladies, experts say.
The daily routines of life — whether careers, children or financial responsibilities — challenge couples to keep alive that flame that initially brought them together. From a practical standpoint, there's less time for sex and intimacy as relationships develop and individual partners take on more responsibilities.

Furthermore, aging brings on a host of physical conditions that can affect life in the bedroom. These include sexual dysfunction, cardiovascular conditions, arthritis and rheumatism, and a host of other problems.

Whatever the reasons for brewing trouble in the bedroom — whether emotional or physical in nature — the good news is that many such problems are easily treated. Moreover, troubles in a couple's sexual relationship are often signs of other problems, and can serve as a warning sign for still bigger troubles ahead.

Answer 7

Sex is a gift from God for a man and woman who are married to each other.
Although sex can be great, it definitely cannot solve all the world's problems. Just because people enjoy sex together does not guarantee that they will ever be able to see eye-to-eye on many topics, or at least be able to agree to disagree.
Sex does not equal love. Love encompasses many different emotions, and requires that 2 people are willing to work through struggles together, and be willing to say "I'm sorry"and mean it, and "I love you" often.
Love is much more than action; it is heartfelt and is constantly on the mind of the one who is in love.
May God bless all of you with the "Love of your life"! Then share your love with that person in all ways, including through the gift from God, of sex.

Answer 8

Through a greater understanding of just what LOVE and SEX are, what you suggest is possible. However, it could be that with this greater understanding that "limiting dependency on sex" would become a less significant option to improvement of the marriage. Sex has two purposes: procreative and unitive. Sexual attraction leads to both of these. It is when sex is used for selfish reasons that marriage suffers. When sex happens for unselfish reasons it is EROS. This leads to a true and deeper love. The unitive purpose is nurtured. This leads to AGAPE.

Answer 9

It shouldn't take many brains to answer this question. The solution to problems in a marriage is NOT sex, its communication. And none of it has anything to do with religion whatsoever.

Answer 10

Sex is not all for everything in marriage.Sex is needed but it is not only sex for a harmonious marriage.The other needs are :
1)love and respect to each other
2)be honest to each other
3)be fair to each other
4)be open to each other
5)be polite and gentle to each other
6)discuss all together the significant affair in the family
7)be well communicate to each other
8)trust and give honour to each other
9)make suggestion to each for improving everything
19)be a good husband as the leader in the family and be a good wife to treat and serve well the needs of her husband