I'm having a real hard time dealing with life right now. My mother told me that my 30 something year old sister slept with my step father. Both denied this, but my mom refuses to believe them. She divorced him after 28 years of marriage and disowned my sister. I love my dad very much, we were very close before all this BS, and now if I call him on the phone and she finds out, she yells at me and makes me feel like I'm stabbing her in the back like she feels my sister did. Growing up, my sister was my best friend in the world and now I can't talk to her without feeling extremely guilty. My mom has no reason to make up such an ugly story, but she has no solid proof of any of this and it's so hard to beleive. Should I keep my distance from all of them until I figure out the best course of action for me? This has taken it's toll on my marriage and my family. Please help. Any reasonable advice would help.
2007-02-22 17:50:02 · 12 answers · asked by monicastocker74 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think you are doing the right thing now. Keep your distance and figure it out first. That will also help your marriage and family out which is the most important thing now to you.
2007-02-22 17:55:12 · answer #1 · answered by hdcd33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your mother's problem. You should stop being so wimpy. If you want to talk to your sister go ahead and do it. If mom doesn't like it, she won't like it. If she tries to cut you off tellher you are not betraying her by talking to your sister. The problems betweent the two are not your problems. If mom won't understand well she will do what she has to do but you do not have to follow suit especially if you do not feel the same way. Mom will understand that some day. she is wrong to think you are betraying her by contacting your family, same goes for your father you can talk to him. Do not allow this to take any toll on your marriage andfamily. it is not your problem, do not take it on. You do what you have to do and mom will do the same. If she tries to cut you off just don't go along with it and tellher that loving your father and your sister in no way means that you love her any less. She will do what she will do and there is nothing you can do about that
2007-02-23 01:58:02 · answer #2 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG you are not being disloyal! Just because your mom was betrayed (maybe or maybe not) doesnt mean you have to stop your relationship with your dad and sister. That is not right of her
to ask that of you. You should talk to her about it and let her know that you love her very much but it is not right or fair to make you choose between 2 people you love. You are not at fault and did nothing why should you have to suffer?? I understand your feelings and I am sorry that you are going through this .. i have discovered in life that family sux most of the time... best of luck to you.. i always have drama going on please feel free to check out my blog always funny things on there to talk about http://ramblingjenn.wordpress.com
2007-02-23 02:11:24 · answer #3 · answered by Pure Genius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it must be for your mother, she should not expect you to cut ties with your step-father...you didn't sleep with him, and if you feel he is your dad then keep the relationship. I think you need you sit down with your mother and explain your feelings and that you don't want to be driven away too. And that you don't want to feel guilty every time you talk to them. See what she says and maybe there is a compromise. And I'm sure your sister still needs you in her life too. It would be unfair to you to be made not to be able to talk to them.
2007-02-23 02:05:03 · answer #4 · answered by justbnlazy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should keep your relationship with your father and your sister. If you assume the story is true, it's still none of your business and they haven't treated you any differently. If it's false, they need someone on their side. Maintaining a relationship with them should not affect your relationship with your mom unless SHE makes it that way, so it's not on you to take sides in this.
2007-02-23 02:17:51 · answer #5 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So this is your stepfather............
He was wrong. He was married.
Your mother should at least forgive her daughter, your sister, I would think.
I don't know how old you are, but you should still talk to your sister....
Your Mom seems so angry that maybe she feels he may try to sleep with you too.
Wow, what a mess. Good luck and peace be with you.
2007-02-23 01:57:24 · answer #6 · answered by benito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being disloyal to your mother. Your mother is being un-fair. You have every right to talk to your dad and sister no matter what your mother thinks. Sorry you're going through this. n
2007-02-23 01:58:07 · answer #7 · answered by Nikki 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step aside, watch, think, and pretend you don't care. After a while, sth new may develop. It has been sth between your mom and dad, right? So, why you want to be a part of it?
2007-02-23 01:56:53 · answer #8 · answered by Gone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should do what ever you feel is right don't be influenced by anyone but you. truth comes out no matter how deep it has been burried you will find out sooner or later than you think.
2007-02-23 01:54:42 · answer #9 · answered by true-mysteryfrom chinese wish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no because he is still your father and you should still keep in contact with him. your mom is acting childish. you need both of them in your life
2007-02-23 01:54:49 · answer #10 · answered by mrs garfield 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋