I have this friend, a male friend, who I have been extremely close to for a very long time. He moved away while we were in high school, and we kind of dropped contact. I started dating someone that we both knew, and have been with this guy for 4 1/2 years now. I have a child with this guy, and we have been talking about getting married.
But recently, the first guy, my good friend, moved back closer and re-establisehd contact with me. After I started dating my boyfriend, he flat out forbid me to talk with my friend, so now for about two weeks, I've been 'going behind his back' and talking with my friend on the computer. I am very emotionally invested in my friend, going so far as to be disappointed when I sign on and he's not there to IM.
I recently heard the term 'emotional affair', and am not entirely sure what it means.
So I guess my question is am I having an emotional affair with my friend, or am I just talking to him secretly because my boyfriend doesn't like him?
2007-02-22 17:23:49 · 4 answers · asked by eternal_phoenix_fire 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hmmm... Maybe? Depending on whether you have romantic feelings for the friend or not (and how he feels about you matters too).
Well, upon first glance, I would say that perhaps you are totally digging on your "friend" because he's been there for you for so long and he is there for you now. Maybe he's paying you more attention than your boyfriend, and maybe you're in need of that kind of attention right now. This could be due to the uncertainty of your current relationship (you have a child together but aren't engaged or married). Do you have romantic feelings for your friend, or are you just truly happy to have such closeness with someone with whom you have a shared history? If you have a romantic attachment, well, you've got some decisions to make! :-)
I'm also wondering why the boyfriend won't let you be buddies with the friend, especially if you were all friends to begin with. That's a little troublesome. If he's forbidden you to talk to the friend, and you haven't made it clear that that's not acceptable, he will expect that you're not talking to the friend. When he finds out (because some day you will probably feel like telling him) he will be very angry at your deception and may automatically read things into it.
Good luck to you. Hope it works out.
2007-02-22 17:33:58 · answer #1 · answered by Amy K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My man was having an "emotional affair". He decided to tell me about it because he felt bad. He said he had not talked about anything that he thought was out of line. But still felt very bad about going behind my back to talk. He said he liked to be able to talk to someone as a friend and at anytime I felt uncomfortable about it, I could read anything I wanted. I am okay with this person. But then again there is a guy that if I talked to it would probably end us. So don't think that your man will understand you talking to an old friend especially if he told you not to. He will find out that you have been talking to him eventually.
2007-02-23 01:53:16 · answer #2 · answered by justbnlazy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you like him to have "a friend" of that kind behind your back???
2007-02-23 01:28:47 · answer #3 · answered by PD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are. And it will only gets deeper if you keep this up.
2007-02-23 01:33:58 · answer #4 · answered by mimi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋