family dilemma?

Question

I need you guys/gals opinions. Ok, the other night my mom called me. Well, she brought up a very interesting question that i'm trying to figure out. My parents are divorced. My mom is still single but my dad got remarried. My mom didn't make enough money to have her own place so she is staying with her sister. Well, her sister hinted that she wants my mom to move out. My mom doesn't have anywhere to go. So, she is supposed to come visit me in june/july. She asked me if she liked idaho could she move in with me until she got a job and got her own place. Well, this has put me in a bit of a bind. I'm married and my wife and i are fairly young. (23 me and 19 her) I haven't talked it over with my wife yet because she's still in italy and i'm in idaho but that's gonna change in a week. So, here's my question to you guys. What would you do if you were in my situation? My mom lives in Texas so i would have to shell out money to help with gas and moving her stuff.

ok, a little more. no, i'm not the type of person who would put my parents in an old folks home. and yes, i would help my mom out anyway i can. i live in mountain home. i wouldn't not mind at all if my mom stayed with me. but the kicker is, i live on an air force base. i could get her a cheap temp place in the town itself but i don't make that much and it would put a financial strain on me which wouldn't be good cuz i'm struggling right now dishing out all this money for my wifes visa.

Answer 1

GEEZ, I'M GLAD YOU'RE NOT MY SON...HERE'S HOW I MY FAMILY IS WITH EACH OTHER, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER WE ARE THERE FOR EACH OTHER..NO MATTER HOW BROKE I AM OR WILL BE MY DOOR WILL NEVER BE CLOSED TO THEM..THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO ASK..I WILL MAKE SURE MY KIDS AREN'T SO HEARTLESS AS TO QUESTION WHETHER OR NOT THEY WANT ME EVEN IF IT ISN'T FINANCIALLY SUITABLE..I MEAN THINGS WORK OUT IN THE END..THEY ALWAYS DO

Answer 2

First question that comes to mind is how well does your wife get along with your mom? If they don't get along, then you have to tell your mom no. I realize that your mom is your mom, but your wife is your wife!

If they do get along well, then you still need to talk to your wife first. You may find that, while your wife likes your mom just fine, she can't handle the idea of your mom living with you. If this is the case, side with your wife.

If your wife is accepting of the idea, then you can start talking to your mom about it. It would be a good idea to set up a schedule... a time by which your mom will be out on her own (even if it's six months or so). You want to make sure your mom knows it's a temporary solution.

Once you have things all worked out, help your mom move and then help her get on her feet. You didn't say what part of Idaho you live in, but if you're in a decent sized town (say, Boise, Idaho Falls, Pocatello, etc.) she shouldn't have any trouble getting a job and within a few months should be able to get deposits together so she can get into her own place. If you live in a small town (Preston, Burley, or even worse a little town like Dubois), then it might be harder for her to get a decent job.

Good luck. I do think it would be nice if you can help your mom out, but don't jeopardize your marriage.

Answer 3

First, ask your wife if your mom can stay together with you. If she says no, don't push it, she has the right. Don't jeopardize your marriage for this, living together with in-laws no matter what the situation is, is bound to be a disaster. Other than that, I think you should help your mom out anyway you can. Sure it would put a financial strain on you, but if the situation was reversed, I think your mom would sacrifice anything to help you out.

Answer 4

Since you are married, your legal guardian is your wife. So you have to talk to your wife first if she permits. If she declines, you can get her a small room nearby and tell her to live there alternately. If she accepts, then just bring her over, but tell her what she should do, because you are the boss at your house.

Answer 5

well first when your wife gets back talk to her about it and if she is ok with it then go get your mom

i was in the same suguation my mom was liveing with her boyfriend and he kicked her becuase he was kissing somones *** that had his kid and well she did not have anywhere els to go and she lived with up to this year so i now how hard it is so talk to your wife and see what she says if she say yes then when you got get your mom sent down some rules or giude lines that you would like.

Answer 6

Firt of all, make sure you discuss it with your wife asap. If she's okay with it and you can afford it, then tell your mum she can stay but set a strict time limit beforehand ie 2 weeks, one month etc. However, if you're wife isn't happy with it then say no.

Answer 7

moms are incredible people just give her a chance and remember that she need to respect your family space with your wife!

Help your mom out and hug her every day and tell her how much she has to look forward to.

Answer 8

you could get her id and all and put her with you but rememer find out what she'll do. i mean will she really move out? imean hey this is s omething else. talk to the wife not sure how close she is to you? some mothers use people even mothers do that/

Answer 9

that's messed up, you shouldn't even have to think about it, you should have been the one to ask her to move in and stay until she needed to. your mom took care of you when you were growing up, you probably are one of those type of kids who will put your parents in an old age home and forget about them, you need to take care of your mother you only have one.

Answer 10

She's your mom -- help her out in whatever way you can. She carried you around in her belly for nine months! You can at least let her live with you for a couple.