2007-02-22 16:41:56 · 13 answers · asked by maimatt7 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Billy's homework assignment is to think of a true story with a moral so he goes home and thinks about it all night and finally has one.
The following day, Suzy raises her hand first and says, "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
The teacher asks for the moral to the story. Suzy replies, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
Next is Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm, too, and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched. The moral is, don't count your chicks before they are hatched.''
Billy is last to speak. He says, ''My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam War. His plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed, with only a parachute, a bottle of bourbon, a machine gun, and a machete. As he floated down he drank the bottle of bourbon. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 North Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade broke on his machete, so he killed the last 10 with his bare hands.''
The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.
Billy replies, "Don't f**k with my Uncle Ted when he's been drinking.''
2007-02-22 17:54:52 · answer #1 · answered by MuZzZ 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How about a blonde joke?
A lady was driving down a road following a trucker. Every time at a red light she jumped out of her car, ran up to the truck, pounded on the door, and told the driver, "Hi, I'm Cindy, and your truck is leaking!" Finally after the third light, the trucker jumped from his truck and ran to her car. Cindy rolled down her window, and the truck driver stated,"Hi I'm Joey, and I'm driving in Maine and THIS is a salt truck!
2007-02-26 13:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by caruso_07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: So your running through a field in a canoe and your wheel falls off...how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house?
A: Purple, because ice cream doesn't have any bones!
2007-02-22 18:35:14 · answer #3 · answered by ηєvєrmorє 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A zebra died and went to heaven. When he saw St.Peter he said I have always wondered am I a white zebra with black strips or a black zebra with white strips. Peter said "Ask God he did create you". So the zebra went to God and ask am I a white with black strips or a black zebra with white strips. GOD said "You are what you are. The Zebra went back to Peter and Peter asked did you get your answer? The Zebra said well God said "You are what you are, Whatever that means. Peter says you are a with black strips or a black zebra with white strips. The zebra says How do you know?
Peter said If you were a black zebra with white strips. God would have said "You IS what you IS.....LOL
HAHAHAHA I love that joke.
2007-02-22 17:26:32 · answer #4 · answered by D'reux 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear about the new wooden car. It has a wooden engine and wooden wheels. It wooden go. A little kid told this on oprah; gotta kick out of it hope you did to.
2007-02-22 18:24:40 · answer #5 · answered by dazed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Last Valentines Day:
I went to a store to buy condom.
The saleslady said, 'do you want me to wrap your gift'? I replied, 'no need because this is supposed to be the wrapper of my gift'!.
Naughty joke....:)
2007-02-22 18:41:49 · answer #6 · answered by jdge_well 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How bout a yo mama joke LOL.. My dad instructed me this one whilst we've been little. (and whilst my mom wasnt there Lol) Your mom is so dumb, you observed her gazing the orange juice carton, and once you asked why, she replied, "through fact it says 'focus'" Lol, it consistently makes me snigger..
2016-10-16 07:26:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
2007-02-22 16:53:59 · answer #8 · answered by Panda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you know when your at a gay picnic?
the hotdogs taste like ****
you know how to tell if your best friends gay?
his dick tastes like ****(joke to tell a guy)
why do gay guys where ribbed condoms?
better traction in the mud
my favorite pick up line in a gay bar.
can I push your stool in?
want more? mmccain77@yahoo.com
2007-02-22 17:04:30 · answer #9 · answered by hammer 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
an angry man married an angry woman when the doctor was pulling her baby out the baby said: get out of my way i am going down by my self.
2007-02-22 22:42:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋