How to react to this girl?

Question

So we've been on three dates.We're both into each other. I asked her out again on Tue and she said yes. 3 hours later, she textd and cancelled, saying her friend was at the hospital having a baby. I tell her to call me the next day. The next day, she texts me around 11pm to tell me she got off work. I decided to ask her where I thought our relationship was going. She answered with "its complicated because of my past." Basically, shes not ready to move on past her last boyfriend (who died in a car crash 2 years ago). She said she enjoys me and that she wants to live each day. So I ask her to get together the next night (tonight) and she says yes. She calls me today and asks me to help her out with something for school. I meet her at the library. She is with her partner (for the presentation). I help her out and she treats me unusually bad (my friend even noticed it). Afterwards, she never calls me back to hang out and ignored my text message asking her if she was coming by my house.

Answer 1

Well basically, you blew it. Unfortunately, most guys think that the way to win a woman is to treat her nice and do everything in the world for her. You are not acting like a man. Women don't want a wuss who will be wrapped around their finger.

First of all, after 3 dates you called her to ask where the relationship was going... yuck!! That was screaming to her that you are a needy wussbag. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but even if you want to be serious with her or any woman, you have to act like you don't care initially. You asked her to get together the next night... translation... needy wussbag. Everything you are doing to get her to be with you is haveing the opposite effect. Women want a challenge, not someone who is coming off as lonely, deperate, needy and acting like a wussy.

Unfortunately, movies today portray all men like wusses. You want to know what women are attracted to... Attitude. Wanna know how to understand it and copy it... pick up a few womens romance novels. They are all generally the same. Female heroine is attracted to the mysterious, slightly dangerous, rebellious, cad who makes her feel all confused inside, etc...

Again, sorry to be so brutally blunt, but if you haven't completely ruined your chances with her, I will be surprised. DO NOT CALL HER AT ALL. Find a way to "accidentally run into" her. When you do, be cool, not needy. Be cocky and funny. Bust on her in a teasing sort of bratty sister way. Then leave and ignore her.

Keep 'em guessing--
Good luck.

Answer 2

You have to be patient with her and not push because she went through a very terrible ordeal of losing her ex so tragically. If you push too much, you may push her out of your life. She must be terrified to love again because how things ended with her last relationship. I suggest that you text her and tell her that you are willing to be patient and will always be there for her as her friend because you understand it is not easy for her to get over the trauma and fear she has gone through. If she is worth it, you will be patient and give her some time. You don't want her to feel pressured and overwhelmed, instead make her feel supported and understood. Good luck. I hope everything works out.

Answer 3

You may like her a lot, but the way she is treating you around her partner isnt very cool. Lay low for a bit. Let her call you. If shes into you as much as you think, she'll be calling you to make plans. Hold tight:)

Answer 4

Let the girl alone. She told you that she is not ready for this. She has not gotten over the death of her boyfriend and wisely is not going to start up a new relationship until she is over the last one. What part of that do you not understand. Back off.

Answer 5

I have the same type of thing going on in my life right now too. I've decided the hell with it, let her call me. I won't play stupid games. A promise made is a promise kept. If a lady agrees to meet me for dinner etc and then stands me up or blows me off. I've decided to brush them aside and move on. You should do the same. If someone really likes and cares about you they will keep their agreements as should you.
Good luck

Answer 6

Move on, this girl just uses people. She used you to help her and her partner with there school work. She is using the death of an old flame as an excuse to not get to invovled. If she is not ready to move on why did she go out with you three times?

Answer 7

Hey man don't sweat it, She is probably just having a hard time moving on. Show her that you won't give up though and you really like her, make her bellieve that you really want to make somthing out of the relationship. Call her up and just say "hey, I really like you, and i think that we should try this. I know its hard to cope with the pain of your bf dieing, but you need to move on eventually." Let her know you can take it as slow as she wants.

Answer 8

Stop trying to turn nothing into something. She has told you that she is still not over her dead boyfriend-so you get over her in a hurry unless you are going to present her as your psych thesis as you are working on your psychology doctorate.
You sound young-so have fun and enjoy your life and leave her to the experts.

Answer 9

you've done enough...i know it'll be hard, but leave her alone and give her neccesary space. You might want to call her and tell her you understand what she meant about her last relationship and (if you can commit) tell her you're available to talk about life or anything else. She's probably just hurting, be there for her, but dont nag her

Answer 10

well it is still early so my advice would be find someone else. obviously she is still very upset and isn't ready. and when you move on if she feels anything for you she will commit bc she doesn't want to lose what you might have together. if not, she just doesn't feel the same way. good luck.