I have a teenage daughter who works very hard at breaking all the rules. How do I get her attention?

Answer 1

You never spanked your kids, did you...

that was your first mistake.

Answer 2

You should have started disciplining her when she was small. Setting rules and boundaries. Resorting to physical violence is only going to prove that you don't have the skills to handle the problem. I suggest you begin using a behavior/reward system. First of all take the television, stereo, computer OUT of the bedroom. They don't belong in there anyway, they shouldn't be handed to kids in the first place but rather EARNED by their behavior. Set down rules, and when she follows the rules give her a specific time to use her priveliges. When my daughter was in her teens she got an hour of television and an hour of computer/phone time during the week, weekends she could spend a bit more time on the computer and phone depending on how much she pitched in and helped out around the house. I didn't dole out an allowance. I don't belive I should pay a child to live under my roof. I also had a poster in my kitchen that gave what a child's rights were...They were, a roof over their heads, healthy wholesome food in their bellies, a safe, warm place to sleep and clothes on their backs. The rest were priveliges to be earned, no child has the right to watch television, play video games, or chat online. And no child (this includes teens) should be allowed online without parental supervision...this means taking the computer OUT of the bedrooms.

Answer 3

You want to really get her attention. Then you have to follow through with everything you say. Don't say you'll do something and then don't follow through with it. Take away the things that matter the most to her, privacy, freedom, ect...

Start off by setting a few simple rules, curfews and chores are easy rules to follow.....or break. If a rule is broken then it has a consequence. Take away something. Like her myspace accoung (I'm sure she has one). Buy a keylogger keyboard for your computer and change it out with your real keyboard. After you KNOW she was on her myspace account just log on and see what she typed in. You should be able to pick out her name and password. If a rule is broken take it away, change the password on it for 2 weeks, she can start a new one at a friends house but it won't be the same.

For some reason taking away simple things that teens highly value like Myspace or MSN/AOL messenger accounts they really start to listen. Don't try just taking away the internet as with friends houses and libraries you'll never get the same effect as taking away what they can access from any computer.

Answer 4

More than likely if you talk to her you will find that she is trying to get your attention. Either she is spoiled and doesn't know any better (which is probably not the case) or there is something bothering her that she does not know how to communicate to you. Stop fussing for a little while and start listening carefully to what she is saying. Take a "night off". Tell her that nothing she can say in the next 5 hours will cause you to punish her in anyway and I bet you'll get way more answers that months of punishment could ever do.

Answer 5

Pray! I was a rebellious teenager with a great mother. But I'm not sure there wasn't anything that my mother could have done to get my attention. It's by the grace of God I'm still alive.

I will tell you something that happened to my husband when he was a teen. He got a DUI, and the judge knowing his father and his Christian background, ordered that part of his punishment was to stand before his church and apologize for what he had done. That really impacted him.

Bless your heart. I have 2 boys and I don't look forward to those years (especially if there is any truth in the saying that you reap what you sew).

Answer 6

Get the book Boundaries for teens.
First define everything in these terms with her.
"every choice you make has a reward or consequence". Then lay down the law and enforce it. " If you stay out past your curfew, you get 2 weeks restriction and a curfew 30 minuets earlier for the next six months. Then if she breaks it tell her next time it is a month and another 30 minuets.

If you do not clean your room.... {be a bit easy on this one, you are wanting dirty cloths and dishes out as well as a general tidiness not spotless perfection}. you lose all cloths on the floor for a month. I will pick what you wear, wash it every night and that is what you will wear to school all week! I bet nothing will ever be left on the floor!!

If you are late getting to bed or late getting up, you do not sleep during the day at all!

Be the mom!

Answer 7

put her in a small dark closet and hold her there until she falls asleep or starts saying sorry. lol. jk. no u could take her to therapy or mabey she has hormone unbalance do to being a teenager so u could medicate that. it could be she thinks she is old enough to take care of herself so one day u could have her do the family chores like make dinner do laundry etc. and see if she is ready (and also get some work done) and tell her that if she does a good job at it you will reward her. and as the reward i have to say a frozen mocha from starbucks is good and u could spend more time with her, she is calling out for ur attention u dont need to get hers. u need to show her u love her and help her understand she isnt ready to lead yet. so taking her out for frozen mocha at star bucks lets u have girl time in a friendly environment that she wont be screaming or breaking rules or anything. as long as u dont ask embarrasing questions like who she likes and if she thinks the guy serving the mochas was cute. u will get possitive feedback. in fact, without telling her, one day when she has nothing to do, take the day off for one on one time with her and do stuff like get ur nails done or get a message so u can talk and have fun.

i hope this helped

Answer 8

This may not be the right answer, but if she is breaking rules to get your attention, ignore her and don't say anything. When she does something good, pay a lot of attention and praise her.

Answer 9

I use to do that all the time, I would just love to rebel and do anything to make my parents mad. I dont know why. Probably just because I was a teenager. Teenagers do stupid things for no reason. She Probably is doing the same thing. I turned out fine Im in college and going to go to law school soon and I truned out fine. If you are really concerned about her try talking to he dont lecture her just talk to her normally and say your a bit concerned for her and youre always there to listen. Dont yell that, just talk to her in a mature calm manor Good luck.

Answer 10

Hmmm.... Smoke some weed with her and act like her friend... And REASON with her.. i know your the mom but your baby is #1 right? Don't go over the hill n ****.. Theres this new nextel GPS thing that you can track her down if she tries to be slick with you... if you scared of what shes doing behind your back like smoking or drinking let her do that but only allow 1friend... Or if you aint taking that just let her do whatever the **** she wants and get PINS warrant on her.. she'll know the dilly...

Answer 11

You make her responsible for the consequences of her actions. If she breaks a rule, she pays the consequences--without fail, no discussion, no condemnation, no lectures, but with sympathy (It's too bad you can't go to your friend's house because you didn't clean your room, (or do the laundry or whatever).