My older brother has been a known drug addict for as long as I can remember. He was the problem child. My Middle brother is a doctor. I'm well off myself making good money and taking care of my father. We've done everything we could for him. Given him money...housing. Helped as much as we could. He was never there for our mother who had cancer before she died. I think my father has disowned him. He hardly talks to him. Recently while I was at his house staying there with his g/f staying a couple of days before heading to Florida. He beat up my friend (Who is the sister I never had). Smashed her hand in the door...and choked her. I seen the scares on her hands and the red finger marks on her neck before the cops got there. I wanted to KICK HIS A$$ so bad after finding out about it. But Didn't. I got her out of there and put her in a motel room till we could leave for Florida where her husband is at. What would you have done? Should I disown him or not? I'm confused!!
2007-02-22 16:27:49 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I noticed a question in here mentioning about the ages. Which is a good point. But I need to mention. My brother in question here is 39, my middle brother is 33. Hope that helps out some
2007-02-22 16:42:50 · update #1
If you focus on the fact that your brother's behavior is a result of drug addiction, I think it would make it harder for you to disown him. What your brother needs to do is to want to get better (first of all) and he also needs to make a serious effort. I'm not saying you should always stick by his side - at this point, there is not much you can do. Kindness and caring can't and won't make him feel better and it will only make you feel worse. If you can force your brother to enter a rehab facility, then great. If you can't then unfortunately you have to let him be. You can consider him a "lost soul"... and hopefully it will only be temporary. If he ever becomes drug free, I hope he will apologize for all the pain he caused your family (and himself). If that happens, hopefully you take him back.
2007-02-22 16:33:40 · answer #1 · answered by ♪ ♥ ♪ ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother will always be your brother and if you disown him now, some day you will regret your error. You and your family have all done wrong. You guy's have given him money and housing, but that was not help. For you to have helped him better was by putting him in rehabilitation. That is the only help you guy's would have done. I'm sorry about your mother and I am not escusing anything of what your brother has done, but everything wrong he has done, has been the work of drugs. I am pretty sure your mother has forgiven him and is in a better place. He is your father's other son and instead of disowning him all of you should help him and I am pretty sure some day he will appreciate it. If by any chance he doesn't at least you know you have done all you could to help him. Give him love and support, but don't give him money because all your helping him do is for him to go buy more alcohol and drugs. He is doing what his body asking for. Even thought he tell you he hates you and that your not his brother if you do not give him money then let him say it.I'm happy for you and your older brother and for taking care of your father. Your father could have had better sons. Don't be confused, but don't disown your brother. Just don't help him out with money because your just leading him to more drugs.
2007-02-22 16:39:59 · answer #2 · answered by shy_gal2 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You must stay away from him until he decides to change which is probably going to be after he has done some time. He is violent, disrespectful and cannot be trusted. No more money or housing. He must take care of himself. He is a grown man.
It sounds like he is spoiled and an addict of some sort. I would not disown him. I would first pray for him and then try to get him the right kind of help. Like rehab. If not rehab then he needs to serve time for the violence and abuse that he does to other people. Turn him in. If he doesn't get help, he will end up killing someone. Stay away from him. He is sick.
2007-02-22 16:51:27 · answer #3 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am currently in the same situation with my husband, i just left him about a month ago after finding out that he was an avid drug user. he hid it very well . basically he never came home. i know that at first it is very hard because you try to help them but they cant be helped unless they want to be. all that i can tell you is that if you have tried everything that you could, its about time that he lost everything important to him. my husband hasnt hit rock bottom yet either, but he is figuring out that it is not the life that he wants. once your brother hits bottom you may find that it is easier to talk to him and help him get help. until then i would say dont disown him forget about him until he comes to you. at that time the ball is in your court as for your friends i am sure that they now know what type of person he is and they wont have anything to do with him either. i know that it is hard to watch someone go through this but its better to watch knowing that you tried your best then to let them drag you down with them.
Good Luck I hope you end up better then i have been. Im still waiting too.
2007-02-22 16:39:11 · answer #4 · answered by fazugosgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of older brother does that? An older brother should be a role model, and keep you safe. What he has done is horrific. Yes, you should disown him, and without hesitation. Be done with him, he obviously has no intentions of being friends with you, and even if he did he doesn't deserve to be. DISOWN!
2016-05-24 01:14:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a lot to deal with. I would not be a part of his life right now. I dont know how old he is. But sometimes kids go through that stupid phase of doing drugs and thinking theyre bad a$$e$. Sounds like he needs to grow up and get his life straight. He may change. And till he does...have nothing to do with him. Dont help him at all. He needs to do it on his own. Be strong:) Good luck
2007-02-22 16:34:10 · answer #6 · answered by melindah83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that your brother has some deep-seeded issues that go way beyond his apparent drug addiction. Usually one does drugs to suppress some feelings that they are not able to deal with. Look into getting your brother some professional help but by no means disown him. You may be all he has left.
2007-02-22 17:39:44 · answer #7 · answered by byotch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dis own him. Sometimes you have to let go what he did was serious. He can't be allowed to do that. When he gets his act together and asks you for forgivness then take him back as a brother.
2007-02-22 16:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by EmmaRoo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow sounds like my family ..........
my brother was disowned by my parents he was never around for anything
my siblings hated him and i was in the middle
let him live his life the way he wants to and he will be back soon begging for family like my bro but dont disown him try and ignore him it will work i feel sooooo sory for you anywayz laters
take care :)
2007-02-22 18:05:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to distance yourself and don't be a safety net. Tough love!! He had no business putting his hands on her!!!
2007-02-22 16:32:59 · answer #10 · answered by J W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋