You're childrens "father" almost kills them...says he doesn't recollect any of it because he was on things that impaired his thinking...He "loves" his sons and finally wants to do the right thing yet Monday we go to court for DNA because I no longer will make our family work and refuse to talk to him...Hmm do you blame me?...He has to be in the same room as my sons and I for the test...My sons have not had any contact with him since Christmas...I refuse to let that into there lives any longer...Long story short HOW DO I KEEP MY SONS FROM HAVING ANY CONTACT WITH HIM WITHOUT THEIR FEELINGS GETTING HURT? it is court ordered for them not to talk with him outside of Department of Family and Children (which he has yet to do)... I have 3 days to figure this out
2007-02-22 15:40:21 · 6 answers · asked by M J 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Get through this then it will be over. As my husband used to say " build a bridge and get over it" Your children are stronger than you give them credit for.
2007-02-22 15:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by LINDA D. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a good attorney. The Dept of Family and Children's services should be standing up with you in court. My situation was a little different. Children's father molested them and was violent with me and the kids. Children's services stood by me through it all and the women's shelter had connections with a lawyer that handled my divorce pro bono(free). It states in the custody part of the divorce that he is not allowed to see the children without a third party present, which he never would agree to, so he doesn't see them. It is hard for the kids to not have a father, but better to not have one than one like they had. I don't know how old your children are, but that will determine how much they miss him. My kids that were four and up were old enough to understand what happened and they personally don't miss him at all. The one that was an infant doesn't remember his dad or the violence, thank God. The one that was 2 and 1/2 says that she misses her dad( she is 13 now ), but she really doesn't miss him she just misses the concept of having a dad.
Definitely get some counseling for them and yourself. Try to have male influences in your childrens lives that they can look up to and respect, like a grandpa, uncle, older cousin, etc. Try not to bash the dad in front of the kids. Let them know that what he did is in no way their fault, that people make choices, sometimes very bad ones, that dad made some bad choices and he has to live with those choices. I wish you and your children the best. God bless you!
2007-02-22 16:12:48 · answer #2 · answered by jnjsnana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may be some way that your sons dont have to be in the same room - especially if there is a court order. As for there feelings getting hurt i guess it really depends on how old they are. But when they get older they will be able to understand why you made the decision for them not to have any contact with him.
2007-02-22 15:56:50 · answer #3 · answered by answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your the Mother of this child and it's YOUR job to keep this child PROTECTED from people trying to KILL them or injure them in anyway. Honestly Im sure in your head your saying you shouldn't allow contact with the person that almost killed them!!
Or I am hoping you wouldn't allow anyone to harm your children. Even if it was because of a "Impaired" issue, because that's no reason to almost kill your own children. (That's just a excuse to take the blame away from the actual issue)
2007-02-22 17:12:54 · answer #4 · answered by msheatherd28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they may get their feelings hurt now, but you have to do what's best for them. trust me they will understand later.
2007-02-23 14:13:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they will be hurt but one day they should be old enough to understand and respect you for your decision.
2007-02-22 16:52:40 · answer #6 · answered by learning...learning...pro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋