How can I make it sound better? My thesis is on young love not being able to survive. ( Romeo and Juliet)
Young love never stood a chance. In Willam Shakespeare's, "Romeo and Juliet", Shakespeare portrays the theme of young love time and time again. His depicted scenes of sorrow and joy leads the thrill of love on a roller coaster of pain. Willam Shakespeare's use of suicidal impulse, uncontrolled fate, and light humor suggests the dificulty of surving young love.
2007-02-22 15:05:48 · 8 answers · asked by Krumpits&Tea☺ 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Other - Education
I really like the first 2 sentences. I would take out the word "depicted' from the 3rd sentence. Also, light humor doesn't fit with the other 2 on the list of difficulties of surviving young love.
You could change it from "and light humor" to "and even light humor" to seperate it from the suicide and fate. The light humor of this story provides contrast to William Shakespeare's use of suicidal...
2007-02-22 15:10:02 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet n Sour 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scenes of sorrow and joy lead the thrill of love on a roller coaster of pain in Willam Shakespeare's, "Romeo and Juliet". The author's use of suicidal impulse, uncontrolled fate, and light humor suggests the difficulty of surviving young love. Willam Shakespeare portrays the theme of young love time and time again. Yet, it never stood a chance.
- My other suggestion is that when I first read the sentence "Young love never stood a chance." I thought your were talking about another person. If you want to use this sentence you might want to try and portray the emotion more with it. For instance, Not matter how many times the couple tried to pursue their young love it could not withstand the pain and suffering that was brought upon them.
2007-02-22 23:24:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In "Romeo and Juliet", William Shakespeare explores the theme of young love. Scenes of sorrow and joy depict the roller coaster thrill of passion and pain. He uses suicidal impulses, uncontrolled fate, and light humor to illustrate his theme.
Less is more. And always use your spellchecker.
Good luck.
2007-02-22 23:23:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually not bad, with two exceptions. First "...theme of young love time and time again" Is poorly worded, and says virtually nothing. What theme of "young love"? Isn't the issue more of their love across social barriers? isn't' the love more of an against- all- others- stand- alone love?
Second You should ditch the "roller coaster of pain" line, it is not "time" appropriate to the story. Try something along the lines of "This timeless story depicts the stages of love fighting to survive against the backdrop of ebbing joy and flowing sorrow."
Remember the introduction is supposed to tease the reader as to the content of the rest of the paper. Tell them what you are going to tell them, tell it to them, tell them what you told them. Teachers love reading papers written in that way! Good Luck!
2007-02-22 23:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by Roll_Tide! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always loved writing papers in college. And to me, this sounds great.
You don't want it to long or to give to much info. Have you been told to improve it? Because if not, I would leave it the way you have it above. After reading it again, if you want to lose something, lose the first line. But don't change the rest :)
2007-02-22 23:08:36 · answer #5 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could also say that Romeo and Juliet felt betrayed by their familes. their pain was to led them on a end that know one could have expected.
2007-02-22 23:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by karen v 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eliminate that first sentence and you'll be straight.
2007-02-22 23:08:29 · answer #7 · answered by tonebonex44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with
Once upon a time, long long ago, when......
2007-02-22 23:09:13 · answer #8 · answered by Brad 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋