depression just sank in and she began questioning everything in her life. she doesnt know what she wants.... she doesn't "feel" anything for me anymore but, doesn't know why...will she come around with therapy or is it over?
2007-02-22 14:53:08 · 13 answers · asked by c o 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
also reading up on depression everything she says, the way she acts, thinks, etc are symptoms of depression but, she thinks its really her thoughts and not the depression, is she right?
2007-02-22 14:55:15 · update #1
Thanks for ya'lls input. will it make a difference if she left because I was pestering her about not wantinto talk to me, let me know what was going thru her head, how and why she felt certain ways BEFORE I knew she was depressed? Now I know and I feel I shouldn't have been acting that way, but, it is also very frustrating dealing with her like that and not knowing anything.
She didn't think it was fair to be here knowing I wanted more and she couldn't feel like giving me or anyone else more because she cant get herself going. ( not even for her son) she doesn't even understand why she all of a sudden feels she doesn't love me anymore as a boyfriend when shes loved me sooo much for 3 yrs. But she says its over "for now."
She has pulled away from me, her son, her family, etc. She did move in with her mom again but, she evendoesn't want to talk to her (or anyone) about her probs/ feelings.
She is getting help in a couple of days, I am trying to understand what is going on.
2007-02-23 07:37:41 · update #2
She says she doesn't think its only me causing her depression but, she also feels there is and there isn't anything wrong with her despite ALOT of things that I feel may have triggered her depression. (father is locked up, mom recovering drug addict, wanting another baby and having a miscarriage, me losing my job, her time at work vs time with her son, etc,etc)
She cant say any of this IS bothering her nor has any of her feelings changed since moving out towards anything nor can she make sense of the things that are running thru her head.
She does at times speak optimistically about feeling different after she seeks help, she does try and show emotion in "hopes" of triggering what was lost.
I dont know...everything seems to be about her right now. I am giving her space while trying to be supportive and letting her know I am here for her.
Is this normal with people who suffer form depression?
2007-02-23 07:52:12 · update #3
sorry to make this lengthy, just a lot om my mind relationship wise. i am focusing on the relationship side even though it goes without sayiing she does have ALL the symptoms of suffering from depression. (lack of sleep, lack of appitite, weight loss, bad thoughts, isolation, etc.)
2007-02-23 07:59:36 · update #4
You may want to back off and give her some space for awhile. I broke up with my boyfriend because I was depressed, but It was also what I wanted. If you're worried about her depression though, you might want to tell her parents (if they live close by) or friends to keep an eye out for her, and hang out with her a little more than usual to make sure shes alright. After she comes out of her depression she may want you back, but on the other hand she might not. It's up to you to decide if shes worth waiting for.
2007-02-22 15:01:59 · answer #1 · answered by lauren_is_vegan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
depression can destroy everything in your life and all the things you once enjoyed & were important to you, you lose enthusiasm for. this is probably why she feels numb and says she doesn't feel anything for you anymore. it can also lead to feelings of confusion, helplessness and suicide. a severely depressed person can be very irrational. i can't stress how important it is, for your girlfriend to see a doctor as soon as possible. the right medication and therapy can help her tremendously. what your girlfriend is feeling, may not even be depression. it may be hormonal and so she really needs to see her physican, so a professional can properly assess her situation.
abandonment is the last thing she needs right now. if you still love her, than what she needs is your support. i'm sure the situation has been very hurtful and frustrating for you as well, but hang in there and more importantly - find out exactly what is causing your girlfriends decline. if she's adamant that she doesn't want the relationship anymore, than it's best you move on with your life. good luck!
2007-02-22 23:09:08 · answer #2 · answered by mangosmoothie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 3 years together, I'm assuming you are in the relationship for the long run. If she got real sick, would you walk away from her. No you wouldn't (I hope), you would stay and help her through it. It's the same thing. Depression is an illness, a sickness that needs to be taken care of the same way they would treat cancer, a cold, anything. What she needs most from you is to be there for her. Love her. If after she gets help, she still feels the same way, then you guys need to talk. But right now it is the depression talking, not her. Just be there for her when she needs you the most.
2007-02-22 23:03:08 · answer #3 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been depressed for a very long time. When my husband and me fight I yell and say the most horrible things to him. I tell him I hate him and I wish he would die. I get into these horrible rages when I get mad and I just can't control it. He's stayed with me all these years (7) and I'm so glad he does. I don't know how he can put up with me. I am finally seeing a psychiatrist to deal with my depression, anxiety and ocd and hopefully be a better wife to him. If he left me, even when I tell him I want him to go away, I would be devestated. I only mean it at that moment. It's not how I really feel.
Please don't leave her if you love her. Try to help her and once she gets help she may realize she wants to be with you. Maybe she wants to end things because of her love for you and thinks that maybe you deserve better than her. Therapy will probably help her so much. Good luck!
2007-02-23 08:56:29 · answer #4 · answered by nina-h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear her say she doesn't feel for you any more? I would question YOUR need to stay with her. Why not just take a break. Tell her you still love her, but you need a break. Tell her she could get some help, and you'd meet up again in a year. If she is seriously disturbed, she will find out. If you are only staying with her because you want to "take care of her" you will find out. That certainly isn't a good base for a relationship.
2007-02-23 14:50:40 · answer #5 · answered by saaanen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depression can be bio-chemical or situational .
She should be checked by a doctor and she needs to examine her situation. Some people are depressed because they feel trapped in relationships that are not working for them.
Take a 30 day break and visit after a month . . . if she is happy, then maybe it was caused by the situation.
2007-02-22 23:05:33 · answer #6 · answered by kate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remember feeling that way. Years ago before I got diagnosed with depression and started taking medicine. Now I am happy, been happy for years. I would get her some help. If you love her help her and then see how she feels about you. My best guess is that she is overanalyzing everything in her life.
2007-02-22 23:30:59 · answer #7 · answered by Serinity4u2find 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing with my boyfriend we been going out almost 4 years now, and were starting to have problems because of his depression. He keeps having thoughts of hurting himself and has to keep going to the hospital. He just lost his job and that really made him depressed, so they had to send him to the hospital. You have to give her alot of support it is not easy to get rid of depression, but she should go get help before it gets worse and she hurts herself, if I were you I would support her even as a friend maybe because she is going through a difficult time. Sometimes I feel like I have depression and can I don't wanna go out with my boyfriend but I really don't mean it at the end, so maybe she is just confused and needs some medical help, and it would probably help if you supported her.
2007-02-22 22:59:46 · answer #8 · answered by okalie dokalie 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If your gf is really depressed, she needs support rather than abandonment. Why don't you talk with her and encourage her to see a therapist or doctor? There are meds and counseling which can help. She may feel better then and able to reevaluate your relationship.
2007-02-22 22:57:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i say bolt. the thing is - she doesn't love you anymore.
she needs the sort of help you're not qualified for. walk away. if she comes back when she's better, then good, but otherwise, don't allow yourself to be dragged down as well.
2007-02-22 23:05:31 · answer #10 · answered by icannottrustthecat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋