My 21 year old sister is living with her boyfriend, something my parents know nothing about. We traveled down 4 hours to see another sister whose son is having emergency surgery and her boyfriend came down with her. We are really uncomfortable with this situation. She's never been so obvious before. They're staying in a hotel together. She expects us to be happy for her, b ut we're a pretty conservative family and not going to be happy for anyone living with their boyfriends. How should we react to this? When I didn't seem really happy with her, she asked what was wrong and I can't be happy about the situation. Isn't this disrespectful towards my parents?
We don't want to come down hard because that could create a risk, and it is her life. Why does she want us to be happy about it?
No one has said anything to her about this because we are worried about my nephew's surgery, but what about in the future?
2007-02-22 14:42:50 · 10 answers · asked by svs_g 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm not considering saying anything to her about it, but she wants us to be happy for her and I can't be. I woujld much rather ignore it. Is there any way to hint to her that we do not want to know anything about her relationship or anything about him. She's also lying to my parents about it. I've always thought if you're grown up enough to shack up, you should be grown up enough to admit it. We're also a little scared that she hasn't mentioned any of her friends since she moved in with him. She used to talk about themall the time. And we haven't seen her without him in almost a year.
2007-02-23 04:31:01 · update #1
What she is doing is NOT right and should stop. If you love her you would tell her that she is playing with fire. Everyone who answered you must not care about morals and only care about the SIN or what God wants. But i know that she feels mature enough to do what she is doing but if she was then she would be MARRIED, what God wants us to do first. Besides studies show that people who live together first have a higher percent of Divorce.. DUH!
BTW... i'm the sister with the one month old in surgery ;) I know how you feel.
2007-02-23 13:13:05 · answer #1 · answered by Annie: Mommy to Sid and Liz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not your business who she shacks up with. If you dissapprove, your entitled to your feelings, but she is an adult, and the last time I checked, this is a free country and your an adult at the age of 18. Get over it, quit being selfish and worry about your own side of the street. Don't be judgemental because God didn't tell anyone that loving another person is wrong. Marriage is something MAN created, not God. Let her be happy, and don't be jealous of her because she is happy. Good for her, don't go ruining it just because you can't stand to see someone else happy. Don't be a zealot. Life is too short. If she dies tomorrow, then how are you going to feel? I cannot judge others because but for the grace of the universe go I.
2007-02-22 14:52:10 · answer #2 · answered by Mysteri O 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My family is pretty conservative as well, I'm probably the least one, but still I understand your point of view. But I hate to tell you unless she intrudes or disturbs anybody else's life, she should be able to do anything she wants, especially if she's not dependent on your parents anymore. Actually yesterday I just posted a question about a divorced brother in-law who wanted to move back in to mommy and brought along his new girlfriend, but what's much much much worse is that they moved in to the house where his mother and my husband & I live without regarding anyone's feelings! You can check it out under "Anyone dislikes their brother in-law? Mine is the most selfish & thoughtless I've ever known." Hope my story helps a bit.
2007-02-22 15:29:31 · answer #3 · answered by trax2345 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your family should buy a time machine, take a trip into the 21st. century and join the rest of the world. You are talking about an adult woman taking charge of her own life - she can do without this "Little House on the Prairie" hypocritical moralizing, give her a break, look at your own life a little more closely and start to practice some of that Christian forgiveness one hears so much about and sees so little of.
2007-02-23 00:16:18 · answer #4 · answered by U.K.Export 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
all 3 of my sons have and or living with some one right now..... I am realy NOT happy about it either, but they are, 25,27,28 yrs old and soooooo, they have to make their own mistakes and happiness...... It is NOT our jobs as parents to CONTROL our grown children....... we raise them as best we can, teach them morals and values and then leave them to God...... you do NOT have to be happy, you or parents about this situation, but you do need to come to terms with the fact she is grown and on her own now..... Respect goes both ways, parents have to respect she is an adult, and treat her as such, and she has to respect the familys' feelings about it and not think she can act like a married couple in parents home... like sleep together when home !!! BUT, when she is NOT under their roof, it is her right to do as she sees fit for HER life...... a hard thing I know, but that is just the way it goes in the adult world........ after things settle down, maybe have a family meeting and agree to disagree............God bless
2007-02-22 14:51:58 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She's 21,she's a grown woman.Heck,I live with my bf.Just b.c. your principles are different from hers,don't push her away.You should be happy for your sister b.c. she is happy and has found someone.Come on,now what's family for these days,criticizing or supporting.You can let her know that though you don't agree with her living with her bf,you still love her,and will be there for her no matter what.
2007-02-22 14:47:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your sister is 21 years old and she is making her own life. I wouldn't be happy myself if my sister do so because I am conservative too but it is her life. I wouldn't be happy but I would tolerate it. I think you should tolerate it, it is her life.
2007-02-22 14:47:47 · answer #7 · answered by C6 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stop judging her. You're making her afraid to tell you guys anything. Are the rest of you so perfect that you can point your finger at her?
2007-02-22 15:55:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you can't keep yourself from judging her. Do her a favor and accept her for who she is.
2007-02-22 15:00:27 · answer #9 · answered by Mike J 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
she is of age, nothing they can do.
2007-02-22 14:52:21 · answer #10 · answered by bubba 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋