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my fiance' said he was willing to go to the pre-marriage classes because he knows how much it means to me and my family for me to get married in my church, but here is where the issue begins. I am an emergency dispatcher and he works offshore. I work from 3p-11p monday thru friday and he works 7 on 7 off leaving/returning on tuesdays. I know we have to go to the classes but with out schedules it would take nearly 3 years before actually getting married. I mentioned us gettting married in a neutral area- no church, just the justice of the peace and he quickly turned it down. I mentioned possibly getting married in his baptist church to my family and they were very upset. I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. I know everyone says its my wedding i have to do what I want, but I want him to be happy and he just says whatever I want. My family is also paying for majority of this wedding so I can't completely push them aside.

2007-02-22 14:31:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Weddings

10 answers

Even though I come from a family of ministers, we chose to have our wedding at an historic estate. Initially my mother was disappointed, but after she saw how beautiful it was, she didn't have a problem with it. And truth be told, you can have a Christian ceremony anywhere; it doesn't have to be held at a church. God's blessings will be with you no matter where you choose. We still incorporated scripture readings and prayers in our ceremony and it was lovely. I'm sure both families would probably would like the wedding being held in their church, having a neutral site puts everyone in the same situation. But you do need to keep in mind, a lot of Baptist ministers require pre-marital counseling whether you marry in the church or another location before they will perform your ceremony (I know ours does), so you probably will still have to make some arrangements to attend counseling. And I definitely recommend all couples have pre-marital counseling before they get married. The two of you may want to consider taking some vacation time so you can attend counseling; I definitely think it will be worth it for the betterment of your marriage.

2007-02-22 15:04:23 · answer #1 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 0 0

You could get married in the Baptist church and have a priest also officiat as well, IF they still do that...... I know the Catholilc church has changed a few rules about marriage, but this is something you need to look into.... A cicil ceremony is a great way to go too, with the understanding that a church house wedding will follow when right........ a simle little wedding then the big one later....... I realy do not know what the answer is, but I wish you all the best......... God bless

2007-02-22 14:44:50 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 7 · 0 0

properly, there are large adjustments between the Baptist and Catholic denominations; even nonetheless, i think of your thought of asking for a blessing from the pastor is a huge thought. the typical bridal ceremony isn't that diverse in a Baptist church(different than for who's appearing the ceremony), and that is a similar God which you're being married below, so it is going to no longer make lots distinction the place the marriage is held. And approximately people who noted the adjustments between the church homes... confident, the non secular practices of the two church homes are fairly diverse, yet i assume that in case you're marrying him, you understand him properly adequate which you already know this already ;)

2016-11-25 01:11:03 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

It sounds like your schedules are more than a little bit complicated, if you are in a hurry to get married then you should do it in a neutral area or just by the civil. You can get married in your church later like in a couple of years or so when you guys have more time to take the classes. But you are the only one who has to take the decision it's your wedding and it has to be the most special day, and I'm sure your family will accept that. Good luck

2007-02-22 14:45:29 · answer #4 · answered by tabylu 1 · 0 0

are these your wedding wishes are your parents? if it comes down to it, just get eloped. it would kind of suck to not have your families there, but right now theyre not really looking out for your interests or your fiance's but instead their own. if thats still not an option, then you might have to get your family to face the fact that youre gonna get married in a baptist church because of scheduling conflicts. im sure theyd rather be there watching you get married in a baptist church than eloped in vegas

2007-02-22 14:38:31 · answer #5 · answered by b2k4ever08 4 · 0 0

Find out what classes are offered for military service personnel in your area. His employer may even have an employee benefit or ombudsperson who can help refer you. The bigger issue is are you ready to be unequally yoked? Sounds like your future doesn't care what religion he is.....and that won't be a big deal until you want to have kids. Its more than a few classes and a pretty church for a backdrop..... He needs to take the classes so he can make a good decision to be participate or not. You might also be able to swap shifts with someone for a few classes if you are in good standing with the supervisory staff.... talk with them. How many days/weeks is it... you may be able to accomodate easier than you think.

2007-02-23 02:12:13 · answer #6 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 0 0

You should be able to work it out with the priest. They can't just turn you two away. They will work with you. And those classes are worth it trust me. Talk to the priest and let him know what is going on. Lots of times they are skeptics of couples coming to get married. It shouldn't be too hard for them to work with you. They do it for military couples why not for you. I wish you luck.

2007-02-22 14:40:56 · answer #7 · answered by mommyoftwo 2 · 0 0

do whatever you want to do. if your family wants you to get married in a church, why does it matter what denomination it is? get married in a court house and make yourselves happy. it's going to piss everyone else off, but it's your marriage, not theirs. maybe they shouldn't have put so many stipulations on things.

2007-02-22 15:14:40 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0 0

my daugher is catholic, he is baptist. Same issues. They chose a non-denominational church. Was great.

2007-02-23 15:09:07 · answer #9 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0 0

So you should go to church.

2007-02-22 16:14:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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