question for working moms and stay at home moms?

Question

first i am not trying to start anythiing or p anyone off but i really have a few q and want to know what you all think.. i am always hearing how hard stay at home moms work and how much they do ect why is it that you think you do so much more then the moms who work? not being nasty i truely want to know what it is. because the way i see it is that working moms not only have to be on a schedule all the time and be at work for hrs each day but then they come home and get to do all the same work that stay at home moms did all day. once again im not trying to be mean or put anyone down i just really cant figure it out so maybe if you could clue me in i will learn something that i didnt know or maybe look at stay at home moms differently ect...and any working moms do you feel like stay at home moms get more credit then you do?

Answer 1

I AM A FULL TIME WORKING MOTHER OF TWO I WORK SOMETIMES 50 HOURS A WEEK AND SUPPORT MY ENTIRE FAMILY BUT WHEN I GET HOME I AM A FULL TIME AT HOME MOM BUT I ONLY GET CREDIT FOR ONE AND THAT IS WORKING AT Y JOB I THINK I DESERVE AN AWARD IT IS TRUE WORKING MOTHERS DO WORK HARDER THAN STAY AT HOME MOMS
THANKS ERICA

Answer 2

Ok, I am a stay at home Mom and this is what I personally have witnessed. It might not be the same for everyone, but this is my experience. My husband and I have always worked different schedules so that someone is home with the kids. I consider myself a stay at home Mom because I only work on weekends and during the holiday season, that being said. I have a friend who just had a baby. She has decided to go back to work. I am able to see first hand the differences in our daily schedules. I think what people mean when they say we do more in a day is the simple fact we take care of the kids plus do everything else. Working moms get to drop their child off and not see them for eight hours. They don't see the constant spit-up, the spills on the floor, the writing on the walls, the hair pulling, the lunches, the paint time, the park time, the getting dressed production, the pretend time, the potty-training messes, the tantrums, etc. Now I'm not saying that working Moms don't see this, but we see it on a constant day to day routine. For working Moms to say stay at home Moms just sit around all day and do nothing is BS. Think about everything your daycare does with your child. How much do you pay them? We do everything they do then do the household stuff on top of that. Either way, it's a full time job. I just feel as if these are the most influential years of my kids lives, and I don't want someone else raising my kids.

Answer 3

Life is hard no matter which way you go at it. I've never heard a sahm say that they work harder than a working mom, and I've never heard a working mom say they work harder than a sah. I think it's all just crap dredged up by bad media to keep everyone angry.

In real life, no one treats their friends differently or whines about how much harder they have it (unless they are just pathetic) I am a sahm. I really can empathize with all the moms who stay home day in and day out, trying to keep the home together and dealing with kids 24/7. But I also feel for my friends who bust their butts nine hours a day and then come home and try to do all the laundry/dishes/dinner while trying to rebond with their kids (esp when their jerk husbands come home and do nothing) That is just as difficult, and I don't want to do that.

I'd gladly give up a second car, dressed up home and designer clothes to forgo the double duty working moms do. I'll bargain shop, etc, and make do. There are days however, when I wonder how I can make it one more hour without a break from these kids...the thought that daycare would cost way more than what I'd make keeps me sane. Seriously, my friends who work wind up netting less than a few hundred each month after paying daycare, commute, business expenses.

Answer 4

Well why do working moms even have to do everything when they get home?
I am stay home mom and I am super duper clean and organized, to make life easier. Being a stay home mom is not that hard actually, what I think is hard is knowing that you are not making any money or pension. Other than that, my kids know me on a personal level and we do everythng together.
I do about 2-3 loadsof laundry every 2 days.
I hand wash the dishes everyday, 2 or 3x.
I vacuum daily and dust and wipe down daily.
I do all the house cleaning basically.
I also watch tv when I want and shop when I want to, cause my home is very clean to begin with its less time spent on cleaning.
I play with my kids and do crafts and bake and shop and go the movies/museums/waterpark.
that is life for now, until they are in school.
Then its back to work.

Answer 5

I have been a working mom and a stay at home mom and I think the work is about equal. When I went to work it was like taking a break from my kid which all moms need from time to time. My husband watched her and picked up after her fed her etc. If I had to do all that when I got home then being a working mom would have definitely been harder than being a stay at home mom. I'm a stay at home mom right now and I do more work at home than I ever did at home when I was a working mom. My husband doesnt expect me to it's just that I feel I should because hes at work all day. I want him to know I didnt just stay home watching TV all day and I dont think he should have to do it after coming home from work. He helped me out when I used to go to work so now I do the same for him. But it really is hard just being a mom 24/7.

Answer 6

My daughters only 15 months old but I've been on both sides. I really think being a working mom is hard. I missed my daughters first steps and first words. I cried. Now I'm a stay at home mom and I miss working. I never realized how much is involved. I cook, clean, constantly and listen to crying and whining all day. I love nap time and bedtime. I love the fact that I get to spend so much time with my daughter but......it's not for me. The thing is I don't think either one is necessarily harder than the other. They are completely different in a way. Staying home your around your child 24/7. Where as working you get that break. Staying home you can somewhat stay on top of cleaning cooking,etc... Whereas working...not so much. They both have the pros and their cons. It's mostly how you look at it.

Answer 7

I've done both, with my son; he's now in first grade I was a stay at home mom until the middle part of last year. When you stay at home you have to keep picking up after the kids..which we all know is a constant job..there is always laundry, dishes, etc. On the other hand as a working mom I'm just busy and my weekends are filled with catching up on what I didn't get done during the week. I loved being home I have a special bond with my son that I don't have with my daughter (she's older) I'm sad that her and I don't have that bond. But I do what I have to do to help the family survive.

Answer 8

I was a single mom with my first child and worked full time. I felt guilt for not being with my child enough, and for being so tired after work. I have been a stay at home mom for the past year with my second child, and it is a lot harder then I thought. I can't just run in the grocery store after work, I have to go when he is not napping. Actually my whole day seems to revolve around his naps. When he is napping, I run around doing laundry, dishes, and vacuuming, then when he wakes up I'm exhausted. Even when my husband gets home to help, it's not like I can relax. I still have dinner and the dishes, or have to bathe 2 kids and get them to bed. I don't get to sit down till 9 pm. I miss that car ride home from work when I could smoke a cigarette and turn up the music to just unwind. I miss adults, even my old asswhole boss. I['m tired of blues clues and Elmo.
Having been at both ends, they are both equally hard. No matter what you do, where you work, being a mom is a balancing act. It's about putting someone else's needs before yours. It' s never easy.

Answer 9

OK here goes i have had it both ways,when my oldest was a little one i stayed at home all the time and yeah i had lots to do,when we are the ones teaching our kids all the things the day care is we have plenty to do plus all the cleaning and cooking etc...and now I'm a working mom and some what older,but i don't teach my son all the things i did my older one, and the cleaning over rides the time spent with the younger one ,so i have to try to be more creative even though im tired and busy to get one on one time in with my youngest,teach him our family values ,ways etc while i do house work ,laundry,shopping believe me i would rather stay home than anything in the world and if i could i would ,but now I'm single so i cant ,if all the moms went back home and raised there kids i think the kids would turn out better who needs the bigger better more.but yes all moms have plenty of work to do its just different priorities

Answer 10

As a stay at home mom of "hurricane Hannah" who is 2 i am on my feet from 5 am to about 11 pm every day. The fact that I'm 7months pregnant is also adding to the stress of my husband being a long haul truck driver and only home once a month. I don't see how working moms cope with everything at home and at work too. I have up most respect for these moms who can manage to balance work and home life. I don't think i know more or do more than a working mom but i think that SOME not all have at least some help from their spouse whereas most stay at homes are expected to do all the cooking cleaning and child rearing with no assistance from their spouse. I love the days when my husband is home and i get to sleep to 7 am. LOL If you can work and keep your home life in balance more power too you but i couldn't do it especially pregnant with a toddler to chase!

Answer 11

I know working moms have it rough, but part of it is that work is a change from being stuck at home with kids and babies. I've done both ways, and have to say that staying at home is harder, I miss working, seeing other adults, feeling independent, etc., and especially on those days when you've just spent 22 hrs dealing with a baby who won't stop screaming, (and you don't get to share night feedings and sittings because you are home all day, he has to work), you don't feel appreciated for your hard work, often what you've done during the day is destroyed before an hour goes by. (like you vaccuum at 4:00, your hubby gets home at 5:30 and says, "you vaccuumed? Today?" incredulously)
Having done both, I can freely say that even though as the woman you have to come home and do the same things as the stay-at-home mom, you aren't doing it all day, and while a change is not as good as a rest (like the saying says it is), it's better than not getting a change.
I can't wait to return to work...

Oh, I forgot to add, self-care as a sahm, you never have clean laundry, because everyone else comes first, you walk around with your unwashed, unbrushed hair stiff with spit-up and sticky with what you hope is applesauce, and on the odd occassion when both kids are sleeping at the same time, you have to be catching up on laundry, dishes, etc., until you're to tired to wash anyway and fall into bed for what you hope will be a good hour...