anyone had same experience? any advice?
2007-02-22 14:24:02 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
...that was 27 1/2 years ago, and he was a heroine addict. Hear through family friends he is (and has for years) doing very well, and has remarried a very nice woman. Not sure what to do.
2007-02-22 14:27:36 · update #1
I would advise you to meet him. He is your father. Meet him with a pure heart if you can. When you meet him, stay calm, and see what he expresses. Listen to what he has to say. To his side of the story. Everyone has their own side of the story. So I'd really suggest u meet him, but be strong. Don't *expect* anything. Go with no expectations except for the fact that you will be meeting your birth father. It's a pretty major thing. Don't miss it. There are tonz of people who crave to meet their biological parents but can't. U have been given an opportunity......take it for what it is. All the best.....
2007-02-22 14:33:41 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your mother about this? What has she said on the topic?
Why has there been no contact since infancy?
If you think that things will be like in "What a girl wants" think again. If this man knows he has a child and hasn't made contact, I personally don't think he is worthy of you. In most cases, the child is sorely disappointed in and by the absent parent. He has been absent a long time, and unless it is because he has be comatose, then there is no reasonable excuse for his lack of contact.
My advise, stay away, stay far away. Why open up that can of worms? Only heartache will come of it. Talk to you mother, ask her some of the questions you have.
Stay strong, and stay with those that love you.
EDIT:
Read your edit. Okay so the guy is clean now, and doing well, and married. He still hasn't made contact with you! Its been nearly 28 years! I think he has made is abundantly clear where he stands. IF you think he is hesitant to contact you, then let this family friend know you aren't completely opposed to him contacting you. BUT, after this much time, the guy really should have done something in way of contacting you. He sounds like someone you DON'T want in your life.
I wish you well and good luck with whatever decision you make.
2007-02-22 22:32:32 · answer #2 · answered by I_Love_Life! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who did you hear this information from? Maybe you can ask the "mutual" person to ask him if he wants to meet his son. What if that information is not true. Just be careful! What if his current wife doesnt know about you and you go and break up a home. I dont know, he left you as a baby. Has he made any attempt to contact you? If he did - I would say go for it! If not, be prepared for anything. I really hope it turns out for your best interest and into a happy ending. GOOD LUCK!
2007-02-22 23:10:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mammamia3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father ran off when I was very young. He came back into my life a few years after my mother died and it's ehhhh.
I have a younger sister and she doesn't hardly have anything to do with him at all, I talk to him on the phone and he comes to visit once a year or so but if he left my life again it wouldn't be so bad.
It really sucks to say that but it's the truth. I love him, glad I know him, glad my kids have a grandpa but he's not indispensable in my life.
2007-02-22 22:29:27 · answer #4 · answered by hthr_1974 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that something you need to figure out first is what your expectations of the reunion are. If you are expecting answers, closure, or comfort I would say to think twice about doing it. If your expectations are to maybe just get to know him little by little, then it may be something that is very healthy for you. Just keep in mind that he may not be as receptive as you may hope him to be. You may be hurt more from meeting with him than the years of hurt you have already dealt with.
2007-02-22 22:32:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Writing him may be easier. Send your letter to him certified mail so he has to sighn for it. I would put a baby picture in with the letter and a current one. Atleast by certified mail you know he received it. Contacting him by phone is sudden.
2007-02-22 22:33:21 · answer #6 · answered by jack_black_91 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a good idea to contact him. It might answer alot of questions you might have as well as satisfy your curiousity. Of after you meet him, you don't want to see him again, you can say good-bye and you wont always be wondering what if!
2007-02-22 22:28:31 · answer #7 · answered by tallgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did that. Spent 10 years searching and he broke my heart. I'd say don't do it, unless you are very strong emotionally and prepared for anything.
2007-02-22 22:27:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you will never know unless you try, but please be prepared for the worst, and hope for the better. Be strong emotionally for rejection, but you only have one father, who knows it could be the best thing you ever did. Good Luck!!
2007-02-22 22:34:41 · answer #9 · answered by Suzie- Q 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact him, tell him you are contacting him for medical history and if anything more comes out of that, great.
2007-02-22 22:41:09 · answer #10 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋