What are some good come-backs when a teen gets insutled at school? i dont have any fresh ones and am in need of some really good and smart-like ones. oh, and what are some funny jokes you peps have? i need some jokes too. thanx!
2007-02-22 14:13:20 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
________why do you wanna get into this it will spoil your reputation and your thinking, ignore them like a walking lion ignores cunning jackals____
2007-03-01 19:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by xxsanxx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Movie Magic
Two junior co-eds went to the movies one night. After 15 minutes passed one girl leaned over and whispered to her friend, "What should I do? The guy sitting next to me is masturbating."
Her friend replied, "Don''t do anything. Just ignore it."
The first girl said, "I can''t."
Her friend, "Why can''t you ignore it?"
The first one says, "Because he''s using my hand!"
Hillary Clinton's OB-GYN
Hillary Clinton went for her annual exam. After the exam, the OB-GYN told her that she was pregnant, and in great shape. Hillary couldn't believe the news and stormed out of the office. She rushed to her limo and picked up the phone to call the Oval Office.
"You got me pregnant! How could you be so careless?" There is a silence on the other end. Finally, she hears Bill's voice.
"Who is this?''
Sunday School
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.
tell me what u think.
2007-03-02 00:46:05 · answer #2 · answered by farie gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!
Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions.
Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
2007-02-22 14:21:12 · answer #3 · answered by Amadeus 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pick-up lines heard round the world and what you could say back to them
I know how to please a woman. Then please leave me alone.
I want to give myself to you. Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
May I see you pretty soon? Don't you think I'm pretty now?
Your hair color is fabulous. Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.
You look like a dream. Go back to sleep.
I can tell that you want me. Yes, I want you to leave.
Hey, baby, what's your sign? Do not enter. or Stop.
I'd go through anything for you. Let's start with your bank account.
May I have the last dance? You've just had it.
I would go to the end of the world for you. Yes, but would you stay there?
Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place, and I'll go to mine.
Your body is like a temple. Sorry, there are no services today.
Is this seat empty? Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?
Haven't I seen you someplace before? Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. If I could see you naked, I'd die laughing.
I hope you like these! :)
p.s. if someone asks for your number,
tell them 438-5678 (GET-LOST)
2007-02-22 14:19:08 · answer #4 · answered by Dancer_for_life 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I like my old standby jokes. A teacher was teaching her 1st graders what meat looked like and where it came from. If they got it right, she served them a piece. The first one was ham and she asked what it was and where did it come from.
"A pig, and it's ham" She gave them a sample. Next was a piece of beef. "It's beef, the kids says, and if comes from a cow." She again gave them a sample. then she held up a piece of venison. The children were puzzled so she gave them a hint,
"It's what your mommy calls your daddy." A little boy in the back row yelled out, "Don't eat it...it's asshole"
2007-02-22 14:56:34 · answer #5 · answered by Memere RN/BA 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
k, so its not a come back but its funny as hell
okay, say it outloud and you'll get it
Knock Knock
Who's there?
I gotta gope.
I gotta gope who?
So why dont you!
(FYI: if you didn't get it.. i gotta go poo...) lol Im 23 years old and heard it on a kids joke contest on the radio. I've been laughing for months.
ha ha ha!
2007-02-22 14:28:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can say:
"Oh I see your mom had two pussie$."
"You can't be an a$$h0le unless you're surrounded by a$s."
"You'd look like s#it too if you slept next to an a$$h0le all night."
"You're so stuck-up, you don't even leave footprints."
"If you were any skinnier, you'd be somone's imaginary friend."
"You're so white, you get a tan by the refrigerator light."
"You're so lazy, I bet you snore when you think."
"You've got more crack in you than Humpty Dumpty."
2007-02-22 14:33:35 · answer #7 · answered by r~@~w 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like to go for the throat, I like to make refrences to how inadequate they are sexually, penis, shriveled vagina, and quefing is always funny. All else fails go for the momma jokes.
2007-02-22 14:17:36 · answer #8 · answered by Steve 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally, if they call you a name, just say "It takes one to know one"
Another one is
"Can I have your number?"
"That's in the phone book"
"But I don't know your name"
"That's in the phone book too"
2007-02-22 14:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by Bilko! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how often u get insulted??
i would hook da person if day said nythin to me....instead of lookin 4 comebakz
2007-02-28 09:48:53 · answer #10 · answered by princetongirl81824 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋