How do I gain self confidence?

Question

This boy I gave 100% too and helped him through the rough times he was going through up and left me for another girl and now he is trashing me calling me bad names. All my life I've been made to think I wasn't good enough. I always give 100% and more to everything I do yet I always am labeled as average. I have been picked on for my looks and I have been told I wasn't smart enough. I'm 21 years old I've never been kissed and I don't have a license because I'm to scared to drive. I don't have many friends because I don't get myself in many social situations. I'm just tired to doing and doing and getting no praise for it and being told my brother who has no job goes to college comes for the most 4 hours a day and comes home and watches tv is praised constently by my grandma. I hate my nose it's way too big. How can I gain confidence and dismiss my flaws.

Answer 1

You sound like you have a similar problem to myself, which is putting your self worth in to the hands of others. You think that by doing things for other people it will make them love you or respect you.

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. People get used to having someone doing everything for them, and that person then becomes overlooked, ignored and taken for granted, leaving you less self confident than before.

My advice to you, to get out of the doormat club, is to think if YOURSELF first and foremost in every situation for the next month. Once you do that, it will start to come naturally, then you will have REAL self confidence, and people gravitate naturally towards confident, self assured people.

Get yourself out there in social situations, EVEN if you think you aren't worth it. Put yourself in situations that are a little scary, and then once you've done it, you can sit back and think 'wow, i just did that' and then you'll be ready to tackle ANYTHING!

Trust me - you'll start to believe in yourself. If you don't, nobody else will.

Answer 2

Find something you are good at and then do it well. Don't dismiss your flaws, but don't dwell on them. Find some way to love yourself, sometimes that is not easy but just try that. Overcoming your fear of driving would help alot. If you have access to a vehicle try taking it out and driving it in a fairly unpopulated area until you are comfortable with the idea of driving. You need a drivers permit for that but usually all you have to do is take a written or multiple choice test to get one.