*Please read the question carefully*
Assume you have only one single choice. When raising your kids and he/she does something bad (assume he/she is 6 - 10 years old) would you prefer to:
A) Give them a long lecture on explaining why the things they did were bad or,
B) Let them learn from their mistakes and hopefully they won't repeat the next time.
2007-02-22 14:10:56 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
B, definitely.
Kids don't hear lectures. When you start to lecture, you sound like Charlie Brown's parents to them. "Wah wah, wah wah wah wah. Wah wah wah. Wah wah! Wah? Wah."
2007-02-22 14:13:47 · answer #1 · answered by Amy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I only had a single choice and my kid was 6-10, I'd say I'd have to let them learn from their mistakes... when I was in this age group, I didn't have a parent to lecture me, hence I learnt from my mistakes. Besides, most children this age will not listen to their parents anyway. They are not stupid. They have common sense and they know what they should and shouldn't be doing; most of the time they do things to see if they can get away with them. As long as it wasn't going to do them bodily harm, I really think this would be the best way to go, seeing as how life is really all about experiences and not about lectures.
2007-03-02 10:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by belltrix86 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While that is a tough question, there in my family is a general way it goes.You can't spend an entire day lecturing your child, because as others have said, they aren't going to process it.
But, you do need to discuss what they have done wrong.
The big thing is, you can't be the dominant one in the discussion. You need to get their feedback as well as you go along. Ask them why they're in trouble, what they did wrong, how they can improve it. Etc.
Personally, they do need to learn from what they did wrong, but if that method doesn't work, and repeated incidents are occuring. Then you may need to take it up a notch to discipline.
In my family we end the lecture with (before the hug =]) telling them what will happen if this occurs again. Such as, if they push their brother again, you will not be able to watch TV for a whole day. That is just an example.
Hope that this advice helps, best of luck to you and your family.
2007-02-22 14:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by Lucky <3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither. If you catch them in the act, hopefully you know what they like and are able to construct a consequence for their behavior. For example, if you child really likes computer time, take away computer time for the day or week. If they like to watch t.v. after dinner, no t.v. and straight to bed after dinner. Give them a long time out (1 minute for each year of age) in a place where there is no stimulation. Giving them a long lecture has no sting after a while, and letting them learn from their mistake may not work if they don't realize that they did anything wrong.
2007-02-22 14:21:34 · answer #4 · answered by goldengirl5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A is definitely more effective. My dad used to give us hour-long or more lectures. For example if we came home with a bad grade on our report card he would sit down with us and lecture us on how important grades were, college, etc etc etc. And then he would ask, "How are you gonna get that grade up?" and we werent allowed to go until we gave him an acceptable answer. My sister, brother, and I all worked our butts off in school and tried to be pretty good just to avoid the lectures! In my experience, lectures are an extremely effective punishment tool. They were terrible!
2007-02-22 15:57:28 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OKAY DEFINETLY NOT B!! then they will most likely do it again thinking it was okay the first time. you need to give a firm lecture and let it be known that what he or she did was wrong and unexceptable
***so u let them learn on their own and they never have no guidance***** imagine how their kids will be and then their kids' kids? sure no one likes a parent who lectures and lectures like a boring professor, but letting them learn on their own is honestly setting them up for a downfall sometime because it will start small and up in a bad and big problem when your going to say i should have talked and taught him instead of letting him learn on his own and now my kids in jail!!
2007-02-22 14:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by Jdez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely have to discuss situations with your children. If you just let it go, and hope that they will learn....chances are they won't learn. If they don't understand what was wrong with what they did, why would they stop? They are not going to stop something if it isn't explained why you shouldn't do it. While kids are very smart, they do still need guidance....that is the job of parents!
2007-02-22 14:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by Y-Knot 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, long lecture will not work… Instead we have bought Consequences Board Game. This game is great to reinforce and introduce consequences for all child actions. It is fun to play for my 6 year old son. While we play, we discus what HE die wrong. Works just perfect. We have bought the game in this http://www.1888Toys.com toys store.
2007-02-22 20:20:23 · answer #8 · answered by IamMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 'Lecture' could save them a lot of hurt. Do You let a child endanger themselve because of political correctness?
2007-02-22 14:21:45 · answer #9 · answered by Ashleigh 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
even if you lecture they are still going to learn something from their mistakes but if you lecture at least they know where you stand on that issue so i would do a and b would naturally follow whether i wanted it to or not
2007-02-22 15:05:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say A - kids aren't born knowing what to do and what not to do - I use every opportunity to teach my kids the "why" part of the situation. I think they are less likely to repeat the bad behavior if they understand why they shouldn't do it.
2007-02-22 15:11:50 · answer #11 · answered by Zabes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋