When children cry at night should they be left alone to cry or should they be held?

Answer 1

it depends on why they are crying.
r they crying for food, a diaper change, pain, fever?
u should check to see and then put them back to sleep.
please do not leave a crying baby, especially at night, something could be wrong.

Answer 2

My 3 1/2 year old wakes up screaming some nights, but when I go into his room he is completely asleep so I just sit on his bed and rub his head or back until he calms down, and then I leave. I would never leave a child alone to cry. I would either be right there with them or hold them. Plain and simple. If I were upset and crying I wouldn't want to be left alone.

Answer 3

If my baby cries, I hold him. I don't worry about "rewarding the behaviour" as one Mom said. He's not trying to 'manipulate' me or 'get his way', he's simply expressing a need. Sometimes he just has a cranky cry, and I give him a toy if I need some more time to finish a task, and he's okay for a few more minutes. But if he is desperately upset, of course I will comfort him. First and foremost, I want him to feel secure, loved, safe.

If you leave your child alone to cry, what is she learning? That no one will respond to her needs, that she is essentially alone in the world. It creates insecurity, mistrust, confusion,etc. That is how babies communicate! And as they become verbal, it's still not always easy to express what they need--but the emotion is there. A child whose needs are met is a secure child. Love. Nurture. Don't withhold love or schedule love or put the assisinine words of some kooky male "expert" (eg. Ferber) above your own instincts.

Hold your child! (P.S. I also hold my 5 year old if he cries, is upset, etc. He's a very secure, confident, independent boy.)

Answer 4

It depends on how old they are. Newborns need feedings about every 4 hours so you can't just leave them to cry. If this child is over a year old you could leave them alone but I wouldn't. Don't pick them up because it will reinforce their behavior and they will need you to get back to sleep all the time. But still at least go into their room and talk to them or soothe them until they're able to go back to sleep. Or just stand or sit near them so they know mommy's nearby and they are safe.

Answer 5

I think it totally depends on the age and the type of cry it is. If it is a whiny cry, I just want to get my own way and stay up late, leave them be. But if it is a horrible nightmare type of cry, go and comfort them for a few minutes and leave.

Answer 6

I agree that they should be checked. Small children do not have the "history" to always understand adult conversation. At times their imagination takes something simple and blows it out of proportion which scares them and causes them to cry at night.

I wish I could remember now what it was that scared my son when he was about two. It took a while but I finally learned what he was afraid of. I was able to explain in words he understood. In about two nights he was able to sleep without a night light and my checking on him two or three times.

Being wet, hungry, or ill is easy to identify. It also doesn't take long to identify the child who doesn't want to sleep and thinks crying will allow him/her to stay up longer.

Answer 7

It really depends on what they are crying for. If they are crying because they don't want to go to bed or sleep then I would leave them cry but if they have a bad dream or are sick or something then they should be comforted.

Answer 8

That is a really hard question to answer I guess it all depends. I know my youngest used to cry all night. I would always make sure he wasn't hungry, wet, ect... before I just let him cry himself to sleep. Eventually he realized I was not going to hold him all night, so he stopped crying and just played in his crib until he went back to sleep.

Answer 9

you know that's a hard one.. because we are so quick to go inside the room.. the child isn't learning to go to sleep by themselves.. I was advised by a Dr to wait.. first 5 minutes.. then a couple of nights later 10 minutes..and so, on.. they learn to entertain themselves and soon learn not be afaid if they wake up in the middle of the night.They create a routine themselves.

. Its hard.. to hear a baby cry.. but if you are positive of a safe environment. try it..I kept the clock in my lap the first time..crying..it was hard.. but I worked for me through 3 kids.

But rules change per incident. so, if your child is not feeling well and needs you..a rocking chair & a parents lap is the best place in town.

Answer 10

I love Amy's answer. You should ay least check in on your child to see why he/she is crying.

It kills me that so many people are in "let them cry" view. If you were crying, at any age..would you just want to be ignored?

Children depend on us for support..comfort..love..in other words..they depends on us to meet thie basic needs. Children have lots of fears..and emotions..all need to respected as we want to be respected. it only takes a few min, to go in and peek on your child..rub her abit..try to comfort her...don't leave her in the dark room..all alone, expecting to be a big girl!