I am unable to be the bridesmaid for my friends wedding, mostly because she is picking out ghastly expensive dresses for us to buy, and the have not even added tax or done the alterations, and second my husband does not really want me to go.
2007-02-22 13:48:13 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have just had to do the same thing.
I was to be in a wedding next week. I was asked back in October to be a long time friends bridesmaid. I told her at the time that I would be quite happy to be in her wedding, but would be unable to pay for anything as at the time, I would have alot of other financial obligations, mortgage, insurance etc. She said it wouldnt be a problem and I accepted. the dress was bought, (ghastly by the way) and I purchased airfares.
She then slowly but surely, kept asking me to pay for things, hair makeup, shoes, dress alterations, etc, mind that this was after I said I couldnt afford it.
The straw that broke the camels back was that she told me that she now didnt have room for me to stay with her, and that I was going to have to find alternate accomodation. The only accomodation available was $100 a night,and I was there for 4 nights, so obviously was not going to be able to budget for it at such short notice.
I then told her that I wasnt happy about what she had done, that I had been up front from the beginning and she had gone back on her word. I sent the dress back to her and told her that I hoped she had a lovely wedding day, but I wouldnt be there.
2007-02-22 15:50:06 · answer #1 · answered by Suzieq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would tell her you are unable to afford the expenses of being a bridesmaid. Just let her know up front, don't try to make other excuses about it. Perhaps, she will change her mind about the dresses. As for your husband, I won't take his opinion into consideration. If money does not become an issue, and you want to be in the wedding; then do.
2007-02-22 13:53:32 · answer #2 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with her. Tell her you are absolutely humbled and honored to have been asked to be a part of her big day and that you love her and wish you could be there but you just can't. I knew a bride who did the same thing (ridiculously expensive dresses) and when her best friend, who was single and living on her own, told her that she just didn't have the money, the bride didn't speak to her for over a year and ended up not even sending her an invitation. Extremely immature! But... I know of another bride who had the same thing happen and instead she was sweet and understanding. Just be honest - how she reacts is on her.
Oh... but leave out the part about what your husband said... there's no need to hurt her feelings.
2007-02-22 14:01:47 · answer #3 · answered by Aunt Bee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just be honest with your friend and say in all honesty you cannot offord the dress and sadly you cannot be the bridesmaid. But if she is your friend and you want her to remain so you really should attend the wedding as a guest. If you don't the frienship is over. If she is your friend she will understand. If she offers to pay then forget the way the dress looks wear it, it's the least you could do for a friend on her big day. Tell husband he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to and find some reason to tell your friend.
2007-02-22 13:52:58 · answer #4 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell her that there is no way you can afford the dresses she picked out. The thing brides seem to forget is that they should be mindful of their bridesmaids pocket book because you have to drop all this money into one dress for one day. Obviously, if you can't buy the dress, then you can't really go unless she buys it for you. Maybe that would be a better idea?
2007-02-22 13:55:09 · answer #5 · answered by Beffy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you tell her you are unable to be a bridesmaid as soon as possible so that she can find someone else. Just be honest with her, that you are unable to afford the dress she has picked out.
2007-02-22 13:52:32 · answer #6 · answered by Panda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to find a way, that is for sure.... sense you feel so strongly about it all, to attend or be in her wedding would ,I believe put a damper on her special day, your attitude would be to hard to hide ...... You need to just sit down with her in private and explain, as best you can and LEAVE out the part about the way you feel about the dresses, but about the cost and that with many other *things* going on , that you feel it would be unfair of you to take the place beside her at this time in your life... It is going to be hard to explain !!!!! you could loose a friend over this, are YOU sure you want that ???? You could request she help with cost of the dress, or a family member ??? God bless
2007-02-22 13:55:30 · answer #7 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Why does your husband care whether or not you attend a wedding? How controlling.
2) Be honest and tell her that you are very honored to have been asked, but you aren't financially able to participate as a bridesmaid. Ask her if there is anything else that you might be able to help with.
2007-02-22 15:42:39 · answer #8 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so which is the real reason you can't do it? the cost of the dress or the fact that your husband doesn't want you to. If you and the girl are close enough for her to want you to be in the wedding it shouldn't matter what your husband says. If it's about the cost, then discuss it with her, maybe she would be willing to pick something else, especially if more than one of you expresses concerns about paying for the dress.
2007-02-22 14:47:34 · answer #9 · answered by Dawnita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont mention the fact that your husband does not want you to go i would simply tell her that the dresses she picked out are a little to expensive for you and there is no way you will be able to afford the dress and alterations
2007-02-22 13:53:00 · answer #10 · answered by HOT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋