How do you manage an addiction to something you can't quit entirely?

Question

I stopped drinking, and smoking crack, and everything else, and its all dandy for 10+ years. But the internet--honest to god, the mental effect is somewhat similar to cocaine. However, I don't think I can completely quit using the internet. I have to email for work and use some things for work related research. So what do people in OA do--obviously you can't stop eating, right? Or Sex Addicts--what, you're going to recover, and so the Mrs. is S.O.L.? How does it work? And if you have any ideas about internet addiction, specifically in using a spiritual program (the 12 steps), that would be wonderful too.

Answer 1

I bet part of the problem is that you're making too big a deal about the internet in the first place. I bet when you first tried to quit drinking and smoking crack, you thought to yourself that it was impossible because you "needed" these substances. But I'm sure now you know that you didn't need it, but rather you just wanted it. Thus it went from being an uncontrollable force to a choice that was yours to make.

So first things first, don't get down on yourself for using the internet. Once you acknowledge that it's not that big of a deal, you will be able to look at it through objective eyes. It's then that you will realize that it's just habit that can easily be broken by changing your routine a bit. Admit to the problem, acknowledge it for what it is (big, small, real, emotional, silly, etc.) and then make the choice to change!

But most importantly, stop obsessing... if you obsess, you end up making the addictive "substance" more important than it really is. The less important, the less it will affect you!

Answer 2

If certain websites are a problem but you have to be connected to the internet, try out the CyberSitter filtering program. It is highly effective, customizable, and doesn't required a yearly subscription like other (less effective) programs. You can put in a long numerical sequence as your password, then throw it away and you are locked out of the bad sites. If you need to tweak your settings you can go to their website and override your password for a $10 fee. This website can also be blocked to make it hard to use the password override service (you'll have to use a different computer). It sounds complicated but it's definitely worth the effort. It would be hard to give up booze if you had a lifetime supply in your closet. For more insight into these types of addictions, read Patrick Carnes' book "In the Shadows of the Net".

Answer 3

This is certainly a problem for me too. I am an adict and have realized that when I give up on one addiction I find that there are others that were just not so noticable. Sex and lust more specifically is the biggest one.
Why should I care if that girl walking the other way is good looking, ugly, or has an extra eye? I shouldn't. It has nothing to do with her value as a person and there is no way I am going to give up what I have to get involved with someone else. When I removed Lust from my life I found that I could actually appreciate the sexual experiences much more. I would actually be present in them instead of just, "going through the motions". I actually found what it meant to "make love" instead of fulfilling my lust.
This doesn't answer your question, but it does begin my point. Being sobre from a sexual addiction or any addiction to something that it is important for me to keep in my life is very different from other addictions. I don't need to remove them from my life, but I do need to remove the need for them in my life. for me a time of chosen celibacy was necessary to let me understand that I wouldn't die without it.
The same was true for me with television and the Internet. I love them as there are so many options to keep me from being in my head and considering my life and all its goods and bads.
I removed my television from my house for a period and only used the Internet at work. Over the next few weeks I found that I got much more done and ended up getting to bed earlier. I was on time more often and even caught up on all the reading I had promised myself I would do.
I have now allowed those things back into my life and attempt to use them to add to my life instead of allow me to avoid it.
I have been told by many counselors that it is important to not find a replacement addiction for that which I am removing. I love the options and possibilities with our new advances, but have started to only use them sparingly.

I hope this helps as it has helped me a great deal.

Answer 4

Hmm, this is a good question for sure. Btw, congrats on quitting everything that you quit!! Wow! That ain't easy, my friend!

Now, I sympathize with you, b/c I tend to get on Answers too much. Here is what works for me:

a) I get on the computer every other day during my free time. When I do, I set a time limit.
b) I have one computer for 2 people in the house. So, I know I have to get off of it eventually for the other person to use it.
c) I distract myself with other things I need to do after a while. have reminders on my cellphone about my favorite TV programs that are coming on. When I see those, I realize I'd rather watch TV at that point anyway b/c I'm bored of the computer.

Perfect example--now, it is 10:30, and my favorite program is coming on. What's more, shouldn't I be getting ready for bed? You betcha! So, enough is enough. Time to pack it up.

See how easy that was?

Answer 5

You didn't give much details as to what it is about the internet your addicted to. Chat, Porn, Games, Gambeling, Email? what is it exactly?
I can see where addiction to the internet could happen, but I also see it as something is lacking from your life. There have been times in my life where I spent 10 or more hours of my waking time online. Then I started working a fulltime job I met some people, and started going out. At first I missed my computer and would jump on as soon as I got home. Or sometimes I'd even decline to go out so I could be on it. But slowly I just adapted friendships and activities outside of the internet into my life. And once your busy with other things. you naturally tend to just pop in and get online for little periods of time, or in your actual free time.
You need community support. If you don't have a job, or aren't going to school get involved in one of those. Meet some people and go out with them, or even on a nice day go to a lake and go swimming. but get away from your computer screen and give yourself breaks. this is totally beatable. you just need to replace your online life with a real life outside of cyberspace. its not hard it just takes sometime. :)

Answer 6

Well 10 years clean and sober here too. I have to say you got me on the addiction of the net. I give myself half hour to read and mail and surf then I turn it off. The big book never stated the 13 step was the computer, or can you just make your pc your higher power? Then that would be ok. darn I HATE ADDICTION LOL.

Answer 7

different than for the apparent rehab option, i be attentive to distinctive people who have been waiting to return sparkling by using removing themselves from the ambience which harms them. I certainly have associates who've moved to different states and international locations and are actually maximum excellent very pleased and drug loose lives. at times its the individuals around us that make us want to do issues all of us be attentive to we ought to consistently no longer.