Please do not say the following cuz i already know em!
If you were a booger, id pick you first
If you were a snadwhich at mcdonalds, youd be the mcgorgous
im a love pirate and im here for your booty
good thing i have my library card cuz im checking you out
FUNNIER THE BETTER
2007-02-22 12:46:42 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed rock!
Is your dad a thief or something? Because someone stole the stars and put them into your eyes!
I've heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?
Excuse me, but I'm new in town, can I have directions to your place?
Can I buy you a drink - or would you just prefer the five bucks?
I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
I wish I were a tear so i could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?
You must be the reason for global warming because you're hot.
You know what would look great on you? Me.
Can I read your T shirt in brail?
Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
I think I need to call heaven because they've lost one of their angels.
Is your name Gillette? Because you're the best a man can get!
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
The body is made up of 90% water and I'm thirsty.
Baby you must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night!
Are you an overdue book? Because you've got FINE written all over you!
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your number?
I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
You know, winning the lottery doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
If I had a garden I'd put your tulips and my tulips together.
What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.
If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you'de be called McGorgeous.
All those curves! And me with no brakes!
Can I even get a fake number?
You'll do.
Excuse me for interrupting and I'm not trying to make a pass, but you must be leaving the country if you're packing that much ***.
You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everyone we did anyway!
Your mom was pretty good, so i figured you would be too.
I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did.
It's a good thing I have my library card, because I'm checking you out.
Oh, sorry, I'm reserved for someone else.
Damn, I'm glad I'm not blind!
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?
You look like my second wife! And I’ve only been married once!
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?
If you were Sprite, I'd obey my thirst!
Excuse me can I borrow a quarter, it is an emergency.
My mom told me to giver her a call the first time I fell in love.
I lost my number, can I have yours?
Let's make like fabric softner and snuggle
Do you like bananas or blueberries?
Why?
I wanna know what kind of pancackes to make in the morning.
Hey baby. Roses are red, violets are blue.
I'm not a poet, but damn girl, you're hot!
Hi. there. Inheriting 50 million dollars doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
Excuse me, miss, I`m going to have to ask you to leave. You`re making all the other women look bad.
2007-02-22 12:55:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
If my nose was running money honey I'd blow it all on you.
You look better than a Government check.
If Sex Appeal were snow You would be A Ski Resort.
Do all the men fall in Love with you as quickly as I did?
Wanna ride my bucking bronco?
If you like poetry you will love my Longfellow.
Mind if I Prey on you?
But the one that works best almost all the time:
Do you mind if I call you some time? A written note with that phrase and your name, address and phone # will get a lot of mileage.
2007-02-22 13:15:41 · answer #2 · answered by Ted 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Cuz you're the only Ten I See. (someone actually said this to me while I was in South Carolina for the military)
2. I wish I could be your clothes line, that way I could hang around your house all day.
:)
2007-02-22 12:55:52 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy To Be in April 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
got these off the internet a long time ago
Pick-Up Lines
ELF PICKUPS...
1 "I'm down here!"
2 "Just because I've got bells on my feet doesn't mean I'm a sissy!"
3 I was a lawn ornament for Gary Sweet."
4 "I can get you off the naughty list!"
5 "I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys."
6 "I'm a magical being! Take off your bra!"
7 "It's not size that matters babe!"
8 "I get a thimbleful of tequila into me and I turn into a wild man!"
9 "You'd look hot in a Raggedy Ann wig!"
10 "I can eat my weight in cocktail frankfurts!"
2007-02-22 13:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
is your father a thief? cause it looks like he stole all the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes.
is that a mirror in your pocket? cause i can see myself in your pants.
are you a traffic ticket? cause you got fine written all over you.
did you hear that?its a siren ,cause the site of you stopped my heart.
do you wanna make millions? millions of babies?
hi do you have a boyfriend? cause if not, are you taking applications
hey, your name is sexy right?
hey hows it goin? see my friend over there? he wants to know if you think im cute.
hey if i kiss you, will i get slapped?
damn sugar! slow down im diabetic
your so hot your making my beer warm.
if you were a pill, i would overdose!
JUST GO TO BORED.COM AND CLICK ON PICK UP LINES THERE IS HUNDREDS!!!!
2007-02-22 13:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by Scarlett 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
(1) I'm on my way on a plane to Miami, the person sitting next to me ask, Are you going to Miami? I said nope, just going to Iraq.
(2) I'm on the sidewalk walking my dog and one of the neighbour's ask, Are you walking your dog? nope, the dern thing just ran into the leash.
(3) we were watching TV the other day and the pope was in a parade, my husband ask, How come you always see the pope on TV and never his wife? I told him go ask her.
(4) my wife and I were looking out the window and it was snowing, she ask, Is that snow? I said nope it's just rain.
(5) my family and I are going camping into the woods we stop to a gas station where everybody else were they were going to, one of the guys came up and ask, Are you going camping? I said nope, we live out here.
2007-02-22 13:55:02 · answer #6 · answered by crystal b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1) I see that you breath quite often, and that you blink on every now and then, that's two things we have in common, wanna f*ck?
2) You look tired, must be 'cause you've been runnin' through my mind all day.
3) Do you have a band-aid, because I'm cut (make a muscle with your bicep). OR... Do you have a needle and tread, because I'm ripped.
2007-02-22 12:53:20 · answer #7 · answered by Inferno13 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
did it hurt when you fell (fell from whar) heaven
if i could rearange the alphbet i would put u and i together
hears a funny answering machine line
hi youv reached 55567845 if you want to leave a im press 6
if you want to send a email press 7567 and if you want to
leave a normal message press 13245356743 spin around
and talk.
2007-02-22 13:03:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
im no fred flinstone but i can make your bed rock
is there a miror in your pocket, cause i can see myself in your pants
are your legs tired, cause youve been runnin through my mind all day
roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back (my friend actually said this to some girl and he got slatpped [surprise surprise])
2007-02-22 12:56:30 · answer #9 · answered by aliterit 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The little voices told me to come talk to you.
2007-02-22 13:05:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋