I just don't know how to approach my 8 year old. She is a good kid for the most part...but the lying has got to stop. I have tried to ground her, that doesn't seem to work. She takes off with her friends to ride her bike in the neighborhood without asking and lies about telling me where she was. I need help, anyone who has been in this situation and corrected it...without spanking! Like I said, she is a sweet, good kid...and she makes almost all 100's every report card. Please help me!
2007-02-22 11:50:31 · 8 answers · asked by Butterfly 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
One technique I can suggest is great for teaching your child about future relationships she may have and respect/trust. I used this on my step daughter recently with some success.
Explain to your daughter that lying is a form of disrespect and that she would be in less trouble if she hadn't lied about it in the first place. You need to make the punishment fit the crime for her bike riding excursion such as, no going out with friends for a week or two.
The real lesson comes in the near future. Right now, you need to explain to her how you show her respect: feed her good food, get her candy/snacks, let her watch tv/play video games, etc... Tell her that the next time she disrespects you, that you will disrespect her. Here is what happened with my step daughter:
My SD has a history of lying when she gets into any trouble. The last time she lied to me I reminded her that lying was a form of disrespect and the more she disrespects me, the less I will respect her. When we got home from school that day, she went to get a snack to eat while she did her homework. I made her put her snack back and told her that buying her yummy snacks was a form of respect she just lost. While doing her homework she asked me how to spell a word and I told her to go get the dictionary and look it up. I usually make her a different meal for dinner if her dad and I are eating something she doesn't like but I made her eat what we had. And she didn't get any dessert.
Before she went to bed I told her that I loved her and I don't like living with such disrespect in the house. I reminded her that the choice was hers- if she wants to lie then she better get used to not having snacks etc... She recently lied to me and I gave her a second chance to tell me the truth and she did.
I liked this technique because it helps your kid learn the consequences of dishonesty she will face in the future. I think most kids who get grounded for lying don't really learn what consequences they will face in the adult world. By the time they get there, lying is already a habit they have and tend to have a rude awakening.
2007-02-22 16:42:58 · answer #1 · answered by Erin H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom showed me two rabbits have sex when I was 6. Then told me thats how babies are made.Then told me to watch the female because in one month it would have babies. Well I watched and sure enough it did have babies.She then told me adults like rabbits have sex but what makes humans 'greater' than animals is that humans do it for love also. I guess what I'm trying to say is teach her the science then the emotional part. If her mom can get her to think of sex rationally first then she can work on explaining the emotional side of it as well. Hope this helps I am by no means a pro conseler
2016-03-29 07:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's lying then there's a reason. I mean, why would she lie if she just went for a short bike ride.
First off, figure out why she's lying. It may be completely innocent, but 8 years olds don't see it that way.
Then just talk to her. Ask her why she lies. Maybe she feels like you wouldn't aprove of what she's doing. Even if you would aprove, I know from when I was 8 that I didn't think my mom would always let me go somewhere, when it turns out that she would.
2007-02-22 13:27:21 · answer #3 · answered by Akarui 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Camping...
Take her away for a long weekend to a distant place for camping.
Fill the car with everything you need, and tell her how it will be so great for her because you will do everything to make the campsite work.
Then, when you get there, unfold a chair, take out a beverage and relax....and don't do a thing to set up camp. When she complains, tell her you didn't mean to lie this time, and next time you will tell her the truth...
Be prepared to sleep in your car if you have to, but wait until she:
Asks for help
and
Promises to do her part.
Don't slack off, and at the end of the weekend you will have a child who has a different understanding of the basics of life, and how hard they are to provide for herself on her own.
2007-02-22 12:01:31 · answer #4 · answered by gordios_thomas_icxc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her the trust issues this causes.
My 5yo has been in school for four days now. The third day, he came home fabricating all sorts of stories (like his teacher yelling because all the kids, except him, kept touching her then running away saying you can't get me you can't catch me).
I explained to him that it is alright to make up storied but that you must tell them as stories, not as truth. Now he tells one, then says, 'no, I'm just kidding'. Which, in one day, is a might big improvement, I must say.
2007-02-22 12:44:25 · answer #5 · answered by imjustasteph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have bought Consequences Board Game. This game is great to reinforce and introduce consequences for all child actions: lying or breaking rules or doing something wrong in general. It is fun to play and it is suitable for ages 3 to adults. While we play, we discus my son actions and what he thinks about it. Works just perfect. We have bought the game in this http://www.1888Toys.com toys store.
2007-02-22 21:12:31 · answer #6 · answered by IamMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing that will work the best you said not to suggest.
2007-02-22 14:49:44 · answer #7 · answered by beckychr007 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
kids will be kids.
2007-02-22 12:30:18 · answer #8 · answered by bearcatz_07 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋