Should I talk to my sister after what she has done?

Question

I am Indian. My sister has married an African American man without our knowledge. Usually, most Indian woman marry Indian man. Nobody in our family married non-Indian man.
Plus, she ran away from the house and started living with him.
She didn't even think about my mother who has been working at McDonald's so she can get Cosmetologist license.
She stayed with us until she got her Cosmetology license.
I think she used us.
My mother was hoping that she would support her since she worked really hard at McDonald's to support her education.

Do u think I should talk to her?

Answer 1

She has a right to marry who she wants. It's her life.
You should talk to her.

Answer 2

OK these are tough issues, let me first start by telling you about my sister, and then I will tell you how it helped me to make the best decission I ever made.

My sister was always a bit wild, she has always been sweet, but her and I were opposite as opposite comes. I was do ever thing by the book, and she was do everything against the book. My sister had a husband and two children. She had an affair with our cousins husband and then she married him eventually.

The whole family was devestated, but I loved my sister. I did not care what her reasons were in what she did. I could not and I will still not turn my back on her. She is my best friend, and when many in the family shun her. I stay right by her side. No I do not like what she did, and I do not condone it, but hating her would get me no where. I do not beleive in devorce, and sense she has married this man I would not want her to devorce yet again. Instead. I love her, and I love the man she married. I forgave them both, and we all have a happy life together. I do admit I catch some slack from some of the family for having such a good relationship with her, because my family think that because I like her and her husband, that I have betrayed family laws. Who am I to judge though. It is no different a sin then me having sex before marriage, only thing was I never got caught.

The point being is this, we all do and make mistakes. Yes, using your mother was wrong, and your mother does need to express this to your sister. This is between your mother and your sister, not you.

Marrying outside of the race should be a choice and though it goes against what you beleive in you need to accept what has happen. Hate gets in and it destroys. Try to accept what has happened and embrace your sister. You don't have to like it or even condone it, but you do need to love both your sister and brother in law

Yes you should talk to her, and ask her forgiveness and tell her you forgive her, that is if you said anything bad to her. If not just let her know that you love her and try to be her friend.

Answer 3

Yes, you should talk with your sister and let her know that it's wrong to suddenly ignore the family that has made sacrifices for her education. She ought to at least thank her mother or pay her back.

However, you need to show a little sympathy and understanding for your sister. She obviously ran away because her life at home felt too restrictive. She wants to experience things that are good for HER (ie, love, marriage) and not just those that are good for the family. She has her own needs, and you need to show a little respect for that.

It's not the end of the world that she married an African-American man, or even that she married a non-Indian man. He's probably interested in her culture and their children will enjoy an Indian (or Indian-American?) heritage. He must love her, or he wouldn't have gone to the lengths of marrying her. So give him the benefit of the doubt, and try to see him as your brother-in-law, not some stranger.

Answer 4

First, let me start by letting you know that I am not Indian. But I am somewhat familiar with Indian customs/lifestyle. I can understand how hurt you are by what your sister did. But is it at all possible for you to look beyond your customs out of love for your sister? As far as her marrying a man outside of your race, I really doubt as though she did it just to disgrace your family or to hurt any of you. Sometimes, you just can't control who you love. If your sister found really great qualities in this man that she feels that her heart would just stop beating if she had to live with out him, isn't it just right that she be with him? If he treats her well and makes her happy, isn't that what you really want for her?
My heart really goes out to your mom. But I suspect the reason she ran away is because she knew how you all would react to her being with an African American man, not that she used your mom.
It sounds to me like you really do love your sister and you want to talk to her. Have courage, reach out to her. Let her know how you feel but know that you are going to have to accept her choices if you want to maintain your relationship with her.
Good Luck!

Answer 5

of course you should talk to her. even though she did all of this, she is still ur flesh and blood and ur sister. however, she aint off the hook. the first words u should say to her are' you really hurt me and the whole family.' wah i dun understand is y r u making sucha big deal on marryin a black man. if thats de guy she fell in love with, then thats the guy she shud b with. u hav to let her know that u support her in that, but that u r hurt for being used and her leaving. hope i am at help. good luck and cut her sum slack. bye

Answer 6

Sounds like your sister is tired of the constraints of the Indian ways and wants a REAL life! Mind your own business, and live your life how YOU want.

Answer 7

First of all. Marrying someone of another race is coolio. But. Not telling your family.. well I can see why your mad. I'm sorry about you mother. But you should definitely talk to her. Maybe even help her see in what kind of possition you're in. Good luck ;)

Answer 8

She's your sister. Yes. My sister has done a lot of STUPID things but you should still accept her. Any advice you give her, she won't listen. You just have to accept that she's the way she is.

Answer 9

you dont do that to family.... that is so wrong how old is she...

if shes under 18 then get her butt back there.

if not then cut her outa your life and show her whos boss.

Answer 10

The other answerers have it all wrong. You should NEVER talk to your sister again. Also, your mom should NEVER talk to her, also. She should be considered to be dead and history.
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