I am 34 and have never been in a "serious" relationship with a guy. Due to sexual abuse in my past, I have found it very hard to open up and trust a guy. When a guy smiles at me, I tend to withdraw rather than show interest (if, indeed, I am interested!)
It's very hard to be my age and feel like a freak on a leash. I have had mostly long-distance relationships with basically unavailable people.
How do you open up to dating available guys? How do you trust when you've known mostly just a lot of pain from men?
Serious responses would be appreciated. Thank you.
2007-02-22 11:16:46 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
that's a tough question... with your history of being sexually abused, i can understand why you'd withdraw from mens advances... and also why you'd be open to long distance relationships with inaccessible people... it's a safe no-contact relationship. you get the emotional part of a relationship without having to deal with the physical aspects of it.
ultimately, if you want to date men, you're going to have to allow yourself to be a little more trusting. not every guy is a selfish jerk but you should also be cautious... just like you would if you were at a club with some girlfriends. don't put yourself in situations that would put you at risk. maybe you could use one of these online dating services to meet someone. make it very clear what you want and make it clear about your past as well. some guys might hear this and high-tail it but some would be more understanding and would do whatever it took to be in a relationship with you. you just have to make yourself available by putting yourself out there.
good luck and don't get discouraged. someone is out there for you.
2007-02-22 11:32:00 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just try going out with mature men that have resect not some one u just met at a club that looks like hes either already married or a criminal.
also try to talk with ur date. be open. dont hide behind a mask. but this should be after u have gone out a couple times.
also u should interpret his reactions to see whta kind of guy he is.
dont close urself immediately.
2007-02-22 11:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋