How to nicely ask people not to bring kids to wedding?

Question

It's not that I'm against having kids at my wedding but how is the best way to say, could you just leave them at home? The problem is I don't want to exclude the kids of close relatives(if they want to bring them), but I don't want to have to have friends bring their multiple kids to the wedding because we just don't have the room. For example one friend has 5 kids we really want them to come, but that is two tables just for them to come! What is the best way to handle this?

Answer 1

I think it's perfectly fine just to have children that are members of the family. You may have friends that oppose or don't understand, but they need to respect your request. It's your wedding day, and honestly family does take honor over friends. You shouldn't have to pay for 5 kids whom aren't even members of the family. What benefit are they getting out of attending your wedding. Children whom are members of the family should be include, because they will remember when "cousin sam" or "aunt mary" got married. Your friends may not be your friends in a few years, and you paid for some kids whom won't remember a damn thing. It' s a little harsh, I know. But weddings are expensive.


With that said, address your invites specifically to your friends and not their children. For example, "Mr and Mrs John Smith" should indicate that the husband and wife are only invited. This is opposed to "Mr and Mrs John Smith and Family" or "The Smith Family", which would indicate that all whom live in the household are invited to attend.

If you think you're friends with not understand, or pretend not to know the proper protocol; I would print at the bottom of the invitation, "Adult Reception Only."

Answer 2

When you send invites out, the elite way of inviting is list those who are on the guest. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". Everyone in that house hold usually I see is "Smith Family".

Example: Have on the invite where only the two guest are able to select what type of dinner they want. Gives no other option for other guests. You don't have to explain as it is pretty simplified that the invite states only who is invited.

Also can send a memo, if they ask, and say do the number of setting, only wedding party and close relatives/family children will be present.

A friend with 5 kids gets upset, then kindly say you are sorry but due to expense and seating, they will need to be left at home (or arranged sitting etc).

If someone brings their child anyways, I am the type of person who will excuse them from the event. I think it is rude to ignore the request and brings a insult to friendship and relationship.

That is your call to make if someone still brings their child.

Answer 3

Never write "and family" on the invitation. Some people will interpret this to mean Uncle Bob, Aunt Sally, Cousin John......

The 'proper' way to address invitations is on the outer envelope:
Mr and Mrs Robert Jones
address (with Street, Avenue, North, South, etc written out)
city, state (full name written out) zip

The inner envelope should be addressed to (depending on formality and choice):
Mr and Mrs Robert Jones
-or-
Uncle Robert and Aunt Mary
-or-
Bob and Mary

All children's names should be written on the envelope, below their parents names, in order from oldest to youngest:
Mr and Mrs Robert Jones
Sue, Jane, Dave

All children over 18 should receive their own invitation even if they're living at home.

Only those listed on the invitation should be attending. If you invite only the adults and they RSVP for more than 2 you should call them and let them know that due to space you can not accommodate any extra people, regardless if the extras are children.

Answer 4

There is no way out for you regardless of what you say, they are going to be offended believe me, I been through this I had friends and family extremely upset with me. I called them personally and explained that this was a wedding on a boat and we didn't have security for kids, of course this was just an excuse and i explained that i really wanted them there some took it well but others not so good. Well like i said whatever way you put in expect the unexpected they might say oh yes its fine and not show up. So Good luck

Answer 5

Here's another idea for you....

Hire a "wedding sitter". Have the venue set up an area where the children will be seated. Don't offer the regular menu to the children, find something fun that they will enjoy eating to serve (ie..pb&j, grilled cheese, mac and cheese, hot dogs) This should also cut down on the food bill (not being charged $10 a person for a 5 year old to not eat much)

After dinner, allow the children to play games, movies, and several wedding catalogs have special coloring books or you could make your own.

Hope this idea helps....and trust me once you start thinking about it, you could really run with the idea.

Good Luck

Answer 6

I would talk to them personally or put a seperate piece of paper in with the invite saying something along the lines of: Due to space, we must request that children (excluding our family) not be brought to the reception. This way if they cant get a babysitter they can at least come to the ceremony.. and its okay to allow close family to bring kids as they are there to celebrate with you. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

This is how to write the invitation
Mr & Mrs Smith
Most people will see this as just parents
If you want them to bring an guest
Mr/Miss Smith and guest
If you do not want them to bring a guest
Mr/Miss Smith
Most peole know it it does not say Smith family and for singles and guest who in invited to the wedding
Gool luck
Most people I know like getting out of the house dress up with out children

Answer 8

think about it this way...although this is your wedding and you will have it your way...if one will be excluded then i would say that it would be fair to have all of them excluded. if one parent brings their child(ren) then all will want to bring their children. children will more than likely see weddings as really boring cause their attention span is really short and all they want to do is play. not 'act all grown up'. besides the adults will want to talk to each other all day and it will be just boring for the children. if you want to include children then please consider a babysitter. the children of the parents will thank you for it. also be prepared for some of these parents to try to steal the attention from you by using their children (that is IF you choose to allow them). or you may have to call the parents of the children whom you want to come along personally and leave the 'adults only' on all of the invites.

Answer 9

Be specific on the invitation that you are inviting your friend and their husband/wife to the wedding. Kindly tell her that you would love them at the wedding but do to constraints of size that they leave their children at home. Its your wedding and it is up to you to decide who you want there.

Answer 10

The only thing I can suggest is by addressing the invitation to just the husband and wife .