Can I raise a well rounded "only child"?

Question

I really don't have the desire to have another child. Of course everyone I know says "Oh, you got to have another"....well, no I don't.
The only thing that keeps me even slightly thinking about another, is the fact that the three "only child" people I know are adults who act like spoiled brats. Is it possible to raise my daughter to realize that the world does not revolve around her (she's only a toddler now, so for the time being our world does revolve around her)? I wonder if it's possible that if she grows up w/ her father and I giving her 100% undivided attention/affection-she can still grow into a mature, independent, young lady. I wish I knew more "only child" folks, but I don't. I need input. I mean shoudl I really have another kid just to "balance" out the one I already have?

Answer 1

This is interesting but I do know a lot of people who only have one child...And it all depends on the upbringing that will determine what the child will be like when he/she gets older...My oldest brother has only one and doesn't wan any more cause there was 7 of us and 2we couldn't get what we needed for our parents when we needed it..So he wants his daughter to have everything we didn't...But she has friends and has a very constructive life she's kind hearted and shares everything with everyone,,Every time I go over she's trying to give me her teddy bears she knows that there my favorite...But I think yes as she's young and until she gets old enough to be able to make certain decisions both her parents lives will revolve around her..Thats normal every if its like that when she gets older enough to take care of herself she your daughter you only want the best for her and want her to lead a healthy productive life..If you want to have another child do it because you want to not to balance things out..that could make it worse maybe financially, emotionally and even mentally.. But you can raise her to not act like a spoiled brat just teach her early on that there is a word NO and that there are times when she can't have everything that she wants...and as she gets older she will use all the useful knowledge you have instilled upon her..

Answer 2

Hey I'm an only child, and I turned out alright. When your the only the whole world revolves around you. I know, I'm 15 and I get treated like a princess. I'm pretty much a daddy's girl, but my parents can sometimes treat me like a 2 year-old. It all depends on what you think is right for the child to grow up with. Some kids you see in stores that are screaming like crazy, and you just wanna go up to them and smack them, but I wasn't like that. If I wanted something from the store, I asked, my mom said no, I sighed and went to put it back! As simple as that. Now, whenever I want something, and don't get it right away, I end up getting it sooner or later. You need to tell your kid what is right and what is wrong. They look up to you, and if they see you doing something chances are, they're gonna do the same thing. In the end it will pay off and your kid, won't be the spoiled brat who nobody likes. It all needs some good parenting tricks, and pointers. Be a good mom, and remember to tell you kid, and teach them the rights away from the wrongs, and they'll grow up according to plan.

Answer 3

This is a really great question. I think it would be harder but not impossible. Like you said, most "only" children I know are really selfish and bratty even as adults. However, so are many people who have siblings. If you can find a way to teach him/her to share and mind the feelings of others, take responsibility for social issues, etc. then your child will become a wonderful adult.

Think of it this way - is it any better to have a 2nd child just to keep the other one company or to diffuse attention from the other one? I certainly think that's a bad reason.

Answer 4

Of course it is possible. Just the fact that you are concerned about it shows that you are unlikely to raise a brat. My daughter and my nephew are only children and I may not be positive about my nephew, I know my daughter is not a brat. She learned early on that no means no, and that begging and sniveling would not work. Fortunately, she never had tantrums or she would have learned that didn't work either. I am pleased to say that she has grown up to be one of the most agreeable people I know, and is still perfectly able to stand up for herself when necessary.

Answer 5

Yes, it's possible. I'd say, keep the kid around lots of other children socially, children of friends etc., and make sure she knows that, while your world may more or less revolve around her, the rest of the world doesn't.

I bet you know more only children as adults than you know. The well-adjusted ones don't make the noise that the brats do.

Answer 6

People usually tell the mother of an only child to have another one. This is b.s. You can certainly raise your daughter to be mature, considerate and independent.

Answer 7

a simple advice, just don't spoil her too much. im still a kid but i have a lot of friends that are only child, and all i can say about them is that they are too spoiled. they shout at their parents and all that stuff. just don't spoil your child too much, don't give her everything she wants, and tell her that the world doesn't revolve around her...

Answer 8

I dont see why not! I have 2 and believe me it is hard sometimes. Cause if one dont think of something the other one will. ;) But with one you can give your all to that one child. The only thing the child might lack in time is that feeling of a sibling at home to play with and connect with.

Answer 9

yes, i'm not an only child, but my bro has always lived away from me and i'm a good, i don't act spoiled or anything stupid, but as long u raise ur child the way u want it should be fine.

Answer 10

92% of all serial killers were the "only child"