i feel so insecure because of things that happened in the past. HELP i need honest advice.?

Question

i always feel worried and suspicious that my boyfriend thinks other girls are prettier or more interesting than me, etc...
i used to not be so insecure, trust me. i'm very confident otherwise.
but ever since he and i started dating, he would comment on other girls because i would talk about other guys sometimes without noticing. he stopped doing that after awhile, but....
i still feel like i'm not the number 1 girl on his mind....
i used to feel like number 1 to him (we dated for 2 yrs a long time ago, and he wanted to marry me) but then i dumped him for half a yr because i wasn't ready for marriage, and after that, he made me wait, and only after 2 girls rejected him, he came back to me. those 2 girls are so ordinary and not his type!! he used to only go for girls who look like me (even before he met me)!!!
i really like him but... i don't know what to do, because he's so sweet now and so much more considerate than he used to be.
help!! i need HONEST advice, please.

Answer 1

every morning when u wake up say these words over to yourself i am beautiful i am pretty any man or person is lucky to have me in their life say it over and over until you dont need to hear it anymore the problem is within love yourself believe that even brittney spears has nothing on you!! and beyonce is second rate do this and any man will want u its the confidence that will drive him wild!!

Answer 2

I don't really understand where your insecurity is coming from. He wanted to marry you and you dumped him. Then he went and got rejected by other girls who weren't even all that special, according to you. If anything, he should be the one with the insecurities, no?

It seems his talking about other girls was a direct reaction to you talking about other guys. What did you expect?

I say just relax and stop overanalyzing everything. If things are going well, just enjoy it. And also, being in a relationship with someone does not make you blind to beautiful people. You are both going to notice attractive people of the opposite sex. You can't help that. And there will always be someone who is prettier, smarter, faster, whatever... The difference is you choose each other. If you are committed to and trust each other, neither one of you should feel threatened.

Answer 3

Being insecure will make you unatractive to anyone. There will always be prettier girls, so what, beauty is not every thing. It is who you are inside is what counts. Your boyfriend most likely finds you attractive inside and out so why worry if he finds other girls attractive also. Do you not find other guys attractive, does this mean you are going to be with them? No, finding other people attractive is just because we as humans have our own eyes, views, and judgements. You are bringing more trouble into the situation than there really is. You need to practice on being beautiful from within. Be the kind of person people will admire. Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

You need to see a therapist. You are self-sabotaging your relationship for no reason. You seem to think that he is not good enough for you because he (in your eyes) came back to you only after he was rejected by two girls that you see as "ordinary" and do not stack up to you. Your real, hidden fear is that you are not good enough for him. You're afraid that you are now seen as less than ordinary (as you think that you are better than these two other girls) and that bothers you. You you hide behind comments about being self confident and looking good, which are only masking what you really think about yourself. Please see a therapist and find out the real reason for your insecurities with your boyfriend and yourself and I'm sure you and he will get back on track. Good luck.

Answer 5

Dear, my honest advice is: he could be the Love of ur Life (like in Erykah Badu's song). The one and only. U two were datin in the past, then u were apart, but from ur description of de situation i can sense that u both love each other dearly. Love Takes Time (like in Mariah Careys song)..it seems to me that u two have found it already. I truly think u shud give this love another chance! Go for it sweetheart. As for insecurity, try not to feel like this, as Im sure ur still his number one girl, his Princess. See, u used to be the one who started commentin on otha men. How do u know he felt?Im sure u know him well but perhaps u didnt have a clue what was really on his mind. He cud be commentin on other gals just to irritate u a bit n see ur reaction, make u jealous a bit (i mean healthy amount of jeaolusy) Really :)

Love is King (was it Sade's song?) Go for it dear! All de best!

Answer 6

Well you say you like him you dont mention love.the way you put it its sounds like he came back to you because others rejected him. people do not change doesnt matter how much we hope they do.
You say you were confident before you met, hes made you insecure which is not a good thing at all.
maybe have some time out. see how you feel when hes not around. if your more confident.
only you know how you feel but i would personally rather be on my own and secure than with someone and insecure.
what ever you do. take care

Answer 7

I'm guessing you already asked him to stop. if not do so. seeing a pretty girl doesn't mean he don't love you. everybody looks, it's human nature. it's what you do that counts. is he faithful? is he kind and caring towards you? if so don't make to much out of it. you will always find someone prettier than you ,smaller, smarter i could go on &on it's just a fact of life. remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder! everyone gets insecure from time to time don't let it drive you crazy. and remember he is with you.. hope this helps.

Answer 8

You two need to go to relationship counseling if you two want to continue this and go farther with this because you are going to feel insecure all the time if you two don't talk this out.

Answer 9

You need to get rid of all of that baggage you are carrying around with you, counseling, could work, or read books on self esteem. Work on you, if not you are going to lose him. Be nice to your self for a change! you owe it to yourself, and you deserve the best things that life has to offer!

Answer 10

You have issues that you must see about before trying to be a relationship