I found out she always topup for any boys that she likes. She been stealing just to sustified her friends. We (my hubby n me) try to control her by not allowing her to keep hp. Later she started to steal others hp.She said the hp just like her life, she just cant live without one. She started to lie me n her friends, most of her friends hated me. I did scolded her and punished her for all the things that she did. She told her friends that i dont love her thts why im doing that to her. One of the guy that sms her asking for topup scolded me, said im better of dead being a mother to her, im useless mother, thts why my daughter wanna runaway.
IM so frustated after read all those sms. Its really kinda sad, im teaching my daughter am i wrong, by punishing her,
She never clean up her own room, clean her own plate after dinner,never pickup her own clothes, im wrong for pampered her too much, coz we have a maid to do for her everything, she is my only daughter, how can i correct things?
2007-02-22 09:06:20 · 9 answers · asked by ironlady42 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We did spend lots of time together, endup i been used, we did talk abt this, she will say sorry n applogise for all the things hurts me so much. I send her poem to tell her how much i do love her, how i do care for her. But today, i told her plz dnt say sorry anymore until you really mean it. I scolded her coz she asked me to shutup when i ask her to do her homework. For yr info she is only 15. Im so sad.
2007-02-22 09:27:56 · update #1
A teenager is naturally thinking that they're right (I can say this because I am one). It seems like you did pamper your girl a bit much because a kid should really have respect for her parents. It's understandable that she thinks that you just wanna ruin her fun but if it comes to the point where she's involved in really bad things such as stealing, its up to you the parent to take action. Imagine if she gets caught stealing something someday and gets sent to juvie.. what is she going to do? You have to do something now before she gets into real trouble. (Juvie is NOTHING compared to what you can do to punish her). In my opinion, you should try to be more forceful with her and take away the maid because that's too much comfort for her. If you get too fed up send her to military school. (It can only do her good).
I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK!!!!!
2007-02-22 09:28:04 · answer #1 · answered by ~Stephie~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as she lives with you, you have the power to help change her behavior and even to shape her character in a positive direction. Use your power wisely. Let her start earning privileges by cleaning up her room and removing her plate. Don't give her some of the extra nice things you usually do give her untill she beings doing those simple things most of the time.
One step at a time. She will be on her own before long and you need to help her build the skills to take care of herself when she is not lving with you anymore.
Check out the website www.toughlove.com for support and ideas.
Also, are you living the kind of life you're pleased with? Is there some self improvement you could do as well in order to be a better role model for your daughter? I ask only because you use a lot of abbreviations or slang in your question and it makes me wonder what kind of life you are living. Are you just using text messaging so much that you can't comfortably write in complete sentences? Perhaps you would benefit from taking at least one adult school class at a time if you are not already doing so to brush up on your own education (but not too much at once right now -- you need to keep a close watch on your daughter during these years -- she should not be running around unsupervised or with peers very much because she is getting into too much trouble).
Are you going to church or some other house of worship? Your daughter would probably also benefit if you could find a youth group at church or other place of worship where she could be around kids who aren't getting in to trouble.
Good luck. Your love for your daughter will help you.
2007-02-22 17:20:41 · answer #2 · answered by Investor 2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some friends & I were just talking about this issue. The most used phrase was, "But mom, you just don't understand what it's like being a teen!" Perhaps there is a way that you can share w/ your teen some experiences from your past that may help her relize that you do know what it's like to be a teen. Yeah, times may be different than "in the stone ages". But it's just that simply understanding that she may need. And remember, at that stage, parents are 2nd to friends, just keep reminding her that you love her. Perhaps you're not as angry but more or less disapointed by her behavior. Share w/ her a time when you let your parents down. Think about how that situation was resolved.
Good luck!
2007-02-22 17:13:10 · answer #3 · answered by maryquast 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to spend some quality time with your daughter . The lines of communication seem to have been broken for some time now. Since you have a maid you should be able to afford this suggestion.
You both need to go off somewhere together for a weekend (out of town preferably), just the two of you. Try to get to know your daughter and find out what she is all about. Learn about each others wants, needs, etc. all over again. Get in touch with each others feelings, maybe this will help your relationship.
2007-02-22 17:17:03 · answer #4 · answered by Incognito 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit her down, and have a ,om and daughter talk. It is too bad that you have to try and train her, in her teens, too much too soon. She may need to go to a therapist, so you can get a handle on her. Tell her things has to change, and that you love her very much, that is why you are so concerned for her.
2007-02-22 17:13:08 · answer #5 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit her *** down and straighten her up. If that doesn't work threaten her that you are going to send her to military school that usually works and if it doesn't just send her in for real.
p.s having a maid for her is just showing her that she can get her way so, that's not really helping your situation at all.
2007-02-22 17:34:06 · answer #6 · answered by Bubblez ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont htink she hates u, shes goin through peer presure right now. i know because as we speak im goin through it 2. u just have to really let her know, and if that dont work she is never 2 old 4 a belt to connect wit that *ss.
2007-02-22 17:13:50 · answer #7 · answered by kristina r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
itz simple coz as a teenager i no she tries to do wat her frndz do n u need 2 ve her some pace so she can feel she is growin then she will realise wa u were tryin 2 dobut 1st talk 2 her n let her feel tat u r doin this for her safety n future
2007-02-22 17:13:08 · answer #8 · answered by sexy_luv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
teenage girls !!!! who would have them
so sorry for you ill be asking you for advice soon
2007-02-22 17:12:30 · answer #9 · answered by brioduinn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋