i feel insecure because of the past. HELP!!! honest advice, please.?

Question

i always feel worried and suspicious that my boyfriend thinks other girls are prettier or more interesting than me, etc...
i used to not be so insecure, trust me. i'm very confident otherwise.
but ever since he and i started dating, he would comment on other girls because i would talk about other guys sometimes without noticing. he stopped doing that after awhile, but....
i still feel like i'm not the number 1 girl on his mind....
i used to feel like number 1 to him (we dated for 2 yrs a long time ago, and he wanted to marry me) but then i dumped him for half a yr because i wasn't ready for marriage, and after that, he made me wait, and only after 2 girls rejected him, he came back to me. those 2 girls are so ordinary and not his type!! he used to only go for girls who look like me (even before he met me)!!!
i really like him but... i don't know what to do, because he's so sweet now and so much more considerate than he used to be.
help!! i need HONEST advice, please.

Answer 1

If you truely love him, then let your insecure feelings go. You should always trust you gut. Let your love for him guide you the rest of the way and stop worrying so much. Good Luck!! I hope this helps.

Answer 2

I assume that you dumped him because he didn't want to take "I'm not ready to get married yet." as an answer to his proposal. When you wanted to "come back," I assume it was because you'd decided that you were finally ready to seriously consider a marriage with him.
If I'm wrong, stop reading now, and move on to the next answer.
If I'm right . . .

He made you wait - and made you "pay" for hurting him.
He commented on other girls "because I would talk about other guys sometimes without noticing." - and made you "pay" for not concentrating exclusively on him.

You say that "he's so sweet now and so much more considerate than he used to be." OF COURSE HE IS!! As long as you behave the way he wants you to behave.

He's controlling, and emotionally abusive - I base this on what you've said. If this is what you really want, fine. But I think you deserve better, and I think you need to learn to recognize the signs and patterns of an abusive relationship. Then, learn to recognize a healthy and loving relationship.
Relationships are never "EASY," but a healthy relationship is easier than an abusive relationship. Be careful and wise, my Sister!

Answer 3

The insecurity you are feeling is because you dumped him. You are buying in to the whole karma idea, and unfortunately if you continue on this path you will end up with exactly what you are worried about happening. The fact is you probably broke his heart when you called it off and he still gave you another chance. Give him credit for putting trust in you again and stop worrying about what might happen in the future so much. Have confidence that he isn't with another girl he is with you so that Is where he wants to be.

Answer 4

OK if u really like him then take a chance and go out with him. and don't do it if u are lonely u are a better person then that. I use to feel the same way about myself I was with two guys that were not good for me and I lost my confidants but now I just doing me and I go it back.. I think u can find someone that will like u for u and never settle for a man cause he is there.. and I wish u luck..

Answer 5

If he's with you, it's because he likes you. Trust him and stop being so insecure. As long as he's there, you're #1. You have issues with trust and the marriage thing. Do some soul searching and think about whether you want to marry this guy. If the answer is no, then cut it off and move on. You need to be with someone you trust and who improves your self-esteem. It sounds like he ain't it.

Answer 6

i had almost this exact same problem, but different circumstances. first of all, talk to him. Tell him exactly how you feel and give him a chance to tell his side. then you must ask yourself, "do i really trust him" if you do, then it's going to be hard (trust me, i've been there) to make yourself believe him, but that's all you can do. He's with you, forget the past and just focus on that. be the best you can for him, and i bet you would feel a lot more confident about the whole relationship

Answer 7

Even if he does think other girls are pretty that doesn't mean he wants them over you, or that he even wants them at all. He is with you now and if he wanted somebody "Prettier" than you then he would have left a while ago right? Just talk to him and let him know how you feel, oh yeah and just a tip don't talk about other guys in front of them it hurts their ego hehe.

Answer 8

I have my moments like that too but I deal with it more agressively I guess - if I get the slightest inkling that a guy is into any other girls I get really cold and if if continues I end things. Im not going to waste time on people like that because if Im not the best to you then why are you with me?

Answer 9

One thing I've learned is that when we women comment on men, it's usually in a superficial way whereas men seem to be assessing them as a sexual partner. Men are genetically more visually oriented but that does not excuse them from ogling other women. I think it's a good thing that he's with you again...obviously, he likes something about you. But...and this is something I had to learn the hard way...try to listen to your gut feeling (or intuition or whatever you want to call it) because it will not fail you if you can learn to hear it.

Answer 10

I feel that way sometimes, but you cant be so hard on yourself. He must see something beatiful about you or he wouldnt be with you. If you feel insecure about yourself, here's what you do. You can better yourself in the areas you feel insecure in. I did that for myself and my boyfriend and it worked. It not only made him happy that I am getting over my insecurities, but it made me happy as well.