how do you get over bad memories from your past and get over depression?

Question

i am 23 and have been signed off since dec with depression as i have tried a few times to end it all. alot has to do with my crummy past and horrid childhood. from when i was 5 until i was 16 i was bullied as i was half white and half asian. i was humiliated, put in hospital and mentally abused time and time again and left school with no confidence and unable to hold my head up high and look someone in the eye. there have been other things that have happened to be growing up which i don't want to go into as they are ever more upsetting and just make me cry thinking about them. i have tried to be strong and move on but recently i have opened pandoras box and looked back over the last 18 years of my life and can't believe how rubbish it has been and what i did to deserve it. i am living in my own personal hell and can't see a way out. i feel my life is just meant to be unhappy. has anyone else been throught something similar and how do you get over bad memories from your past?

Answer 1

I went thru pretty close to the same things you have said, and yes, it's hard to get over the memories and the depression. A lot of mine was stemmed from my father, who left me and my mom when i was around 9 or 10. I spent most of my later childhood and adolecence pining over him and wanting more from him as a father. I finally moved in with him when i was 17, by my own accord, and was able to spend a few months with him before he passed away. My relationship with my mother was horrendous because i was preoccupied with my father, and my friendships and relationships suffered because of it. I was in deep depression from the age of 15 until close to two years ago. (I also, am 23). Being on my own for 5 years gave me the time and the space to really figure out what was wrong with me, and what was triggering my moods and my depression, and just recently (about 6-9 months ago) I was able to put two and two together and realize that it was because of my father that I was so screwed up for so long. I had no history of abuse in our relationshiop, sexual or otherwise, and I had no drug or alcohol problems either. I was one of the lucky people that didn't absolutely need a therapist to help me, just my friends and family, and my mother were enough for me to heal myself. Now,my mother and I are best friends, we talk multiple times a day, I am in a stable relationship with a man that I love very much, and seem to be doing okay. When I think about the past, I get that depression 'ache' all over again, and I have to tell myself that it just simply isn't worth undoing all of the work i've done just for those memories. Some memories are worth keeping, others, just simply should be forgotten.

Start over. That is the wonderful part of living on this earth, we have the ability to start new and fresh, and become exactly who and where we want to be. Nothing is holding you back from your deepest desires, except your past, and it's very easy to let it keep you down. You just have to figure out how to be stronger than those memories. You are a beautiful person, and are worth your weight in Gold. Try to keep your head up, and if you need to talk, please feel free to email me. I'm here for you!!! :)

good luck, and I hope everything works out for you!!

Answer 2

Yes, I have been there, I was about your age. The first thing you do is wake up EVERY morning and say to yourself "I can do this today"... Make yourself do some exercise, this helps your brain get out of the "depressed" mode. Always, always tell yourself you can do anything. If you cant afford to see a doctor, Wal-mart carry's an all natural anti depressant called st. johns wart, maybe it is wort, this to will help. Now with all this in mind, usually these things together start working in about 2 to 3 weeks, so don't think anything is automatic. LIFE is worth Living, and you have alot to look forward to. I am glad I came through what I did, and still have alot to do. Most of all, your recovery depends on you taking care of yourself. My mom always said that if you tell yourself something long enough, you will believe it. Start telling yourself that you are worth everything, you are a beautiful person on the inside as well as the outside, and that you can do anything... you will eventually start to believe it, but please give it a couple to three weeks. Your brain is a powerful thing, try to believe that you can turn your depression into something else. I hope I helped, and would to know how you are doing in the future...

Answer 3

You can do several things. First, forgive all the people in your past who made your life miserable. FORGIVE them. Second, find some good, supportive friends who respect you and love you - they will provide you with psychological support. Third, if you are religious, join a church or a congregation, start reading the Bible or any other holy books - sometimes they help. Fourth, always STOP yourself when you start thinking about the past. The past is over, it's gone, it doesn't exist anymore. Period. Look only forward, only to the future. Fifth, get some help from a psychologist - and this might be the most important thing you can do. Unfortunately, most psychologists believe in talking about the past instead of helping to forget it.

Answer 4

If you would like someone to vent to and listen without judgment, my email is [e-mail]. People find it easy to tell me anything, I keep everything said to me a secret, I can even break the ice and tell you personal things about my life too. I went through a lot as well, I've lived with depression and other mental problems for almost 12 years, in a few months I'll be 20. Its not an easy thing to go through, especially as an 8 year old girl who's parents saw the signs but refused to help me and accept the fact. I do hope you'll trust in me and talk to me, everyone needs a friend with a shoulder to lean in, and open ear and shut mouth in the right areas

Answer 5

If you're strong enough to "re-live" the painful experiences that still haunt you - then feel your pain, look at the situation, imagine how you would have wanted it to really have been and after maybe a few times of the "exercise", it will work its way out of you mind set. But you really need to allow yourself the time to cry and feel the hurt. You are not defined by what someone else did to you and by not allowing yourself to feel the pain and realize it was unjust will keep you from moving ahead. Take a weekend to journal your past hurts and cry. You didn't deserve to be hurt that way. Obviously, I speak from experience and just answering your question also helps me to heal. Remember, God doesn't give us anything we can't handle, and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You ARE on you're way to healing!

Answer 6

attempt seeing a psychiatrist or come across a sturdy chum or a mag. communicate or write approximately each reminiscence or theory you have. that could want that can assist you to give up residing on it and at an analogous time as interior the present, make great new memories and be sure you place in writing/communicate approximately those too. i for my area, might use a mag. that is a lot much less perplexing than spilling your heart to somebody who could provide you their opinion. So chatting with somebody could be step 2. sturdy luck.

Answer 7

It may not be easy to forget your past. You can pray to Jesus and He can take the memories away that seem to bring you down in life and HE can erase the bad thoughts of your past and give you a bright future. Your life is very meaningful and you do have a purpose in life. Read the Purpose Driven Life Book by Rick Warren and you'll discover your purpose in life as God intended your life to be.

Answer 8

Natasha

it is easy for me to tell you just to forget about yr past

But there are many things you can do:
1) move to big city - here they do not really care about your half-half, they will even think it is cute

2) big city - big opportunities & bigger risks

3) get lost within a population of more than 3 millions people

Answer 9

You just have to tell yourself that that was your past and look to your future if you let your past and the people in it drag you down you will always be victim to them. pick yourself up, dust yourself off and prove not to them but to yourself that you can do whatever you set your mind to. Good luck!!

Answer 10

Try Therapy it might help you to talk about your past and why your so depressed