One of my friends, well I don't really hang out with her much, but I know her. She's getting married this Saturday. A couple of months ago, I noticed some of our friends chatting about getting invitations, and I began 2 wonder if I would be invited. A couple of weeks ago, she came up 2 me, and said " I wanted 2 tell u that u and your family are invited 2 the wedding, but I ran out of invitations. But your definetly invited." I don't know if she was saying that just to be nice, or if that was really an invitation to her wedding. A wedding shower was thrown 4 them, but I wasn't invited 2 that, so I didn't go. But I feel like since I didn't get her and her fiance' anything, and that I didn't get a real invitation, that I shouldn't go 2 the wedding. What do u think? A couple of my friends have told me that they already RSVPed 4 it, & they were going. She didn't tell me I had 2 RSVP, so I don't know if I still have 2, if i'm planning 2 go? I want 2 go, but I just don't know if i'm welcome?
2007-02-22
08:24:00
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19 answers
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asked by
Blondie
2
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Weddings
I have to defend the bride with this one. I forgot to mail a few invites and remembered about 2 weeks ago (my wedding is this sat too) and had to ask the people in person. It was probably an honest mistake. I would try to get a hold of her and tell her: "Im sorry this is last minute, but I wasnt sure if I should RSVP for your wedding?" or something like that. She woulsnt have asked you if she didnt want you to go. GO and enjoy yourself!
2007-02-22 10:54:51
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answer #1
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answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6
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I think that if she really wanted you to attend then she would have written a real invitation. I don't know much about planning weddings but aren't you supposed to count how many guests are coming to get the food and rest of the stuff ready? I would think that she had to definitely count the invites too.
I wouldn't go because she can turn around and make you and anyone else who does come with you look foolish and say "when did i invite you? do you have an invite?" Even if you dont hang out with her much, she could have been nice to send you an invite.
2007-02-22 16:36:07
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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Don't go.
It sounds like your friends mentioned to the bride "Hey, so and so didn't get an invite." Then the bride went "oh no!" and verbally invited you instead. You don't just run out of invitations. I think she invited you because she felt guilty for not inviting you in the first place, but I get the impression that you didn't particularly care about being invited one way or the other.
Also, she was vague. Did she mean that you're invited to the wedding but not the reception (which you need to RSVP for)? Or did she not bother telling you to RSVP because she doesn't think you'll really come.
Honestly, it's too much work to sort out what's what here. Next time you see her, just say "Sorry, we can't make it" and be done with it.
2007-02-22 16:36:16
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answer #3
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answered by Pink Denial 6
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Honestly, I wouldn't go if the bride to be couldn't be bothered with sending me an invitation. Most brides buy enough invitations to send to everyone on their invite list. I've never heard of a bride running out of invitations. Maybe word got back to her that you knew of the wedding from the people talking about it and she felt bad about it and was inviting you so you wouldn't feel left out of something. This happened to me before where I used to work. My supervisor was throwing a party for something (I can't even remember now) and I and another lady were the only ones in the dept. to not receive an invitation. Another coworker asked me if I were coming and I had no idea what she was talking about, but I had heard people talking about her party. Well, that coworker must have told her because later that day, the other lady and I got an email inviting us. I don't know if it was on purpose, but I always felt like it would've been hard to have just "forgotten" us. I did not go. If you want to go, though...go. She did say you could come. I would just feel out of place if it were me, though.
2007-02-22 16:29:56
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answer #4
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answered by First Lady 7
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Ditch this chick. Wedding invitations go out at least 6 weeks before the day. Invitations don't run out because it is one of the most planned things (food, drinks, venue etc). This person is being a bridezilla (and a few other names). I would not even worry about it or waste the time. Get rid of her and any thoughts. Life is too short to waste time on a so called friend like this.
2007-02-23 06:17:42
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Oh man, I've heard of the A list/Blist invites, but it sounds like you were a P list invite and the P stands for "Pity".
Dont go, I am guessing either guilt got the best of her for not asking in the first place or that she was just covering her butt because she knew the others in your office were talking about it in front of you. Either way, you should definitely RSVP, just because she has bad manners doesnt mean you should. Thank her kindly for the invite, but state that you already have plans for the day.
Also, you do not owe her a gift of any sort and I dontthink you should give one. Maybe a card if you are feeling generous, but nothing more than that.
2007-02-22 16:38:45
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answer #6
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answered by kateqd30 6
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Just because You didnt get an invite i wouldn't go. Something similar to that happend to us. my parents got a invite everyone at church i should say got a invite to a wedding for someone we all know but what happend was that the invite had no name on it just blank. like they hadn't planned on inviting them but hey here are some extra invites might as well use them kind of thing. My sister and I know the person that got married for more than ten years and my parents said here is so and so's invite had no name. I told my mom well how do we know if we (my sister and I are invited) my mom said she had no idea. And my sister and i would take our fiancees if we would have gone. Because we didnt have a invite with specific names on it. WE decided not go. So my parents went to this wedding. which i really would have liked to have gone to but they didnt specify who was invited. So in your case, because you didn't get a invite at all. I would say. Do not go at all. be safe not sorry.
2007-02-22 17:16:28
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Ouch, it sounds like you were invited as an "after thought". It's really up to you if you show up or not, but if it were me, as hard as it would be to feel left out, I wouldn't go. Everyone deserves to be invited in the proper way. Even if she "ran out of invites" that means you weren't on the A list to begin with. My list starts with the most important people - the must haves. The people at the end are those that will be shaved off if I have to save on expenses. I'm sorry but I'm just being honest with you. Good luck.
2007-02-22 16:38:24
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answer #8
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answered by Brandy 6
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I don't think she would have invited verbally if she really didn't want you to come. Of course, I don't agree with the fact that she didn't send you an invitation but that's water under the bridge at this point. I would simply call your friend and let her know that you are interested in attending the ceremony and reception if it is not to late. If she says that it is fine to attend, I'd still plan to go.
2007-02-22 16:34:56
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answer #9
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answered by Veronica W 4
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I don't think she ran out of invitations. I think there weren't enough people who RSVP'd to the wedding and now she's stuck with a bunch of empty seats/tables. C'mon. Two weeks is VERY short notice and VERY inconsiderate.
2007-02-22 17:27:20
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answer #10
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answered by lynnieda 1
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