rejected because of my race???

Question

my friend was talking to this guy i was intrested in (cuz i didnt know him, just thought he was cute). today he told her that he cant date me cuz im black and hes not aloud to date black ppl b.c his dad doesnt like it. the fact that he, i guess u can say rejected?? me doesnt bother me, what does is that. he cant date me b/c of what society had reduced me 2. im am not the typical black girl. most of my friends are white (95%) and my nickname is "oreo" b.c thats who i really am. im not intrested in black guy, i will date them but im not as attracted to them as i am white guys, so i tend to go after white guys, but how can i keep doing that if this will always be the outcome. never would i ask of him to betray his father, and if this is what he wants, then there is nothing i can do about it. but do u guys have any advice as to what i could/should do about situations like this???

i dont blame this guy cuz i dont guess its completly his fault. im just hurt...

Answer 1

First off, I am sorry that this has happened to you. It is not right, my first instinct was his father is older and old fashioned. I am white and I know my parents would probably not understand completely but they would not forbid me to date someone because of their color. And if i was really interested in someone I would go out with them regardless of what my parents may think. It is my life and if that makes me happy then that is what I will do. Sounds like the boy is younger and under the control of his father. So as long as he lives under his fathers roof he has to please his dad. Either that or he is just not interested and he used his dad as an excuse. PLEASE don't let this experience lead you to believe all future experiences will be the same. I think this is an isolated one. Not all white guys will react this same way, Like I said, If i was interested, I would go out with you regardless of your color. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, there's not much you can do, sad to say. You can continue to be his friend, of course, but at this stage in his (and your) life, parents call all the shots.

No, it is not okay to be racially prejudiced and I think that his parents are short-sighted in this regard, but it is not right either to drive a wedge between him and his parents by attempting to date him behind their backs.

Although they are bigoted, they still love him and have done so longer than you have known him. When the two of you are adults, then that is a different matter because you will then be responsible for the decisions you make and not the parents.

Racial prejudice is not right at all because God made us all and loves us all the same. Yes, it hurts to be excluded in this fashion and it is unfortunate, but racial divisions are as old as the world itself is and people's minds will not change overnight.

The only thing left to do is to still befriend the person, and respect the parents' wishes even though you may pity what they believe. Who knows? Maybe that bit of respect towards their position in the young man's life may go a long way to dispel their beliefs about you.

Answer 3

first of all you can not be hurt. I mean it is basically the same thing that you do you would date a black guy but you wouldn't give a damn if he is there or not. So he just gave you a better thing he doesn't want to pretend that he is interested in you so he gave you the first step. I mean I think you both are stupid sorry but that is the way I feel. I mean to like a person in not by the color that they have on. I mean that is just stupid. you have to really know about that person and decide with the persons attitude or something there is to keep from that person. well I am sorry there is nothing more I can say I mean it is just stupid.

Answer 4

Well you should just move on. This is another prime example that racism still exist in this world. Because if it didnt exist then you are right, race would not be a factor. In this case, it is. So just move on.

The comment about you not interested in black guys, maybe you should reexamine yourself on that issue...

Not only that, if you are "hurt" by the fact that you are being rejected by your race then it is telling me that you have a lot of growing up to do because this world is filled with rejection, soley based on the color of your skin.....So you need to get it together within yourself.....

I think that you say you arent attracted to blacks because you may have some type of sterotypical reasons about us but you couldnt be more wrong about blacks in general.

Answer 5

Don't let the unfortunate actions of one person deter you from pursuing other opportunities with guys you're attracted to.

Keep in mind that it doesn't sound like this guy actually rejected you... it sounds like he's just not willing to go against his father's wishes. This is normal. It's hard for young adults (and even actual adults) to step out from under certain aspects of their parents' desires.

If his father is ignorant enough to carry prejudice with him in this day and age, then it's likely that he's an overbearing person as well. This guy may not be able to stand up to his father like you or I would hope he could. This is the unfortunate fact of life.

This type of racism goes both ways as well. Sometimes black parents may have issues with their children dating whites.

I wish I could say that you will never face this type of prejudice again, but that wouldn't be true. Unfortunately, you'll probably have to deal with it again in the future.

But I can say that if you keep on being your sweet self, you will find someone who you're attracted to that makes you happy and doesn't have to face this type of prejudice from his parents.

Answer 6

If you just date white guy's, then you need to except things like this. So you have to get over it, because their is still a lot of racism, in this world. I know it does not seem fair, but it is life, and it is not too much that you can do about it.

Answer 7

No, this guy's (and his family's) reaction is not reason to stop looking for what you want - there are plenty of guys out there who don't care if you're black, white, purple, whatever! I am surprised that in this day and age that some guy will listen to his racist parents though. Just think what he's missing!

Answer 8

It sucks and you will get this from time to time throughout your life, but I recommend you find someone else. I know that is easy to say, but why put all you energy into someone that is to much of a coward to make his own decision. I was always taught, "A women likes a man that is sure of himself."

This happens to white people as well and since he already has a thirst for black women it will definitely happen to him when he get older and can make his owe decisions.

Answer 9

He won't date you because your black? What a jerk! Personally I find black girls, asian girls, latino girls, they all can be sexy. The color of one's skin has nothing to do with physical attraction to me. I have asked out many black girls!

You are a black girl who likes white guys. Many white guys like black girls! Don't feel bad about liking white guys! Jeez I wish a cute black girl would ask me out, that guy doesn't know what he is missing!

Answer 10

first , i am white are as some call a red skin,,beindan, an irish, but the thing be pround of who you are first, in this life you going to met all different type of people, some good some bad,,,,but if his dad feel this way , i say the acorn dont fall from the tree,,,an i sure in time you going to met the right one who going to takle you for who you are,