Can someone please help me, am 28 and have been dating my 33year old boyfriend for two years. I want us to start making plans, but he says he does know what he wants. I want to be married with children but he says he doesn`t know what he wants. Shouldn`t people at this age know where they are headed? What they want?
We live together, and I basically play the role of a traditional wife, cook, clean etc. Our relationship is great and he takes care of me. Is he just really being honest or am I refusing to read all he signs that he doesn`t see a future with me.
2007-02-22 07:55:04 · 12 answers · asked by lilpollyfinders 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am a management accountant in training
2007-02-22 09:10:44 · update #1
Sounds like he already has what he wants with you doing everything for him! What do you really want out of life for yourself? Do you have a career? Are you making the most of yourself? I agree with you that he should just say if he dosen't want the relationship or is just not ready for a child. You need to have a serious discussion with him about where you are headed. I had a similar problem with my ex who always said he didn't want to get married even though we had lived together for years and had a child. I was really hurt so I started developing my own life away from him and then I fell in love with someone else who did know that he wanted me! My ex gave me the runaround for years, don't be a fool like I was, if he won't commit fully tell him to get lost. There are some lovely men out there who would love to settle down and have a child with you but you have to be free to look or them. I hope that it all works out for you, you are obviously a lovely caring person and deserve happiness ;-)
2007-02-22 08:15:37 · answer #1 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off i reckon he should know by now what he wants & where he's going.He;s chancing his arm if he says otherwise.I'm 28 & my gf is a year younger.We've been together almost a year & a half.I've been thinking what i want for the future & for sure i know.It's a life with her - cooking. cleaning, kids, the works.She's my life, my love.I couldn't live without her.I'd be just half a guy, a ghost without my honey.
My mates are generally in the same situation as me.They're thinking of the future & most have a good idea.That's why i reckon your bf has one too.He knows for sure what he wants.You just have to find out what it is! Sit him down & just ask pointblank where does he see your relationship going.Be firm & get an answer out of him! If you need to know & it bothers you you're gonna have to make that move.He can't have his cake & eat it.Good luck!
2007-02-22 14:25:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation and at my age i should know better than to hold back what i expect from this relationship. Proper communication is the root of all relationships. I stopped cleaning cooking and doing all the things a "wife" should be doing and he still here. As woman we want so much more and after the amount of time i have given this man i would have hope for a more legal commitment but i didn't get one so maybe you need to either re-check your expectations or unfortunately like me its time to call it quits
2007-02-23 02:48:35 · answer #3 · answered by purplecatfancier 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, ignore the un-important stuff from others that are wasting your time.
Do you want to get married to him and have his children? Or just to be married and have children? Are you concerned that your biological clock is ticking and perhaps a little scared that time is running out for you?
You will find although your boyfriend is older that you, he probably isn't as ready as you for the whole settling down thing just yet. If you push him into it he will end up resenting you so I would back off for the time being.
2007-02-22 08:18:07 · answer #4 · answered by lynn a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he prbly does but he need a bit of (or a huge one) a push just walk orgo away for a week/weekend without him and show him what he is missing and tell him the house has to be spotless when you get back andif he does change his mind then time to leave good luck because all guy ( other than me )are idiots because they dont what they had until its gone ;)
2007-02-22 08:30:53 · answer #5 · answered by kezz247 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally think that by two years with you he should be able to tell you what he wants. He should either be willing to get married and settle down and start a family or you should move on.
2007-02-22 08:06:29 · answer #6 · answered by stephanie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit him down and turn off the tv and all sound so you have his full attention and ask him. if he says no maybe you should move on sorry but if you just dont fell the same. wait for a year if you really like him and see if he has changed his mind
2007-02-22 08:05:40 · answer #7 · answered by alanmangan2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he just might be happy with the way things are and is afraid that once you two get married and have kids...things will start to change..or that he will have more responsiblities to do..
you have to make him understand exactly what it is that you want, and then convince him from then on....make him less scared of commitment.
2007-02-22 08:57:55 · answer #8 · answered by n1cyndy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I thought this question said 'man tissues'. I was gonna suggest he just wipes it on the curtains instead.
2007-02-22 08:16:32 · answer #9 · answered by schmagum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i thing is a guy who fears responsibility ...and you can say it's a man issue...make him do little things that require responsibility maybe he will get used to it an will be ready to admit what he wants
2007-02-23 04:22:11 · answer #10 · answered by froggiebau 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋