My mom has always compared me to others since I was a kid, but it never got as bad as when I quit college. At first, both my parents were angry. I was so sure I was wasting my time in college, and I could do better. When I began making as much money as any college graduate, my dad stopped being angry, and when I started making even more than the average graduate, he started bragging about me. However, my dad never compared me to other people. Today, I’m doing well, and I’ll probably do even better as my business grows. However, I have not had a conversation with my mom in years. I can’t even say HI, without her telling me about someone who’s making more than me. She keeps telling me about other people who finished college. I just can’t get two words across without her telling me about someone I’ve never met who’s doing better than me. I can’t even have a simple meal with her without she telling everyone about someone somewhere who’s doing better than me. How can I get her to stop?
2007-02-22 07:40:20 · 15 answers · asked by Document Guy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
start comparing her to other people... like say,, Mom I wish you could be more like so and so,, and do it after every time she does it to you.
2007-02-22 07:42:28 · answer #1 · answered by MADLYNN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask her to stop. I'm sure she taught you, that "It's best not to say anything, if you can't say something nice." Maybe she is mirroring you against her own life. Maybe the issue is that she didn't have the opportunity to go to college or she wasn't able to finish. So ask her. Be nice, be interested in her. I know what she does is irriating and hurtful, but she is your mother and you need to show her respect regardless. Maybe you two could have lunch somewhere and get to know each other better adults.
2007-02-22 07:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even try to stop her, someday she will just give up. You just have to do the yes you are right thing , she sounds like someone who needs to be right. But if she has any low self esteem, it could be a way to make her feel better about herself. My mom put me down for years and one day I just had enough and told her I was not taking anymore of her verble abuse, today we get along better.
2007-02-22 08:53:56 · answer #3 · answered by drriyn12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would be up front and frank about saying if you dont stop verbally abusing me you wont see me again (or any children you may have now or in the future).
If she does this to you she wont hesitate to treat your kids that way too. Life is hard enough without the people who are supposed to love us making it even harder. You cant change her she has to change her and I think only drastic measures would do that like removing yourself from her life.
2007-02-22 08:16:08 · answer #4 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell her that you do not need her to make you feel good about yourself because she actually makes u feel crummy abou yourself when u are around her so refuse to be around her. i have an extremelly abusive mother and i do not even speak to her and as a matter of fact she has stolen $$ from me...my child support and forged my signature...yes and cleaimed my daughter lived with her so she can lie on her taxes and not have to pay out...and she is a successful RN and i am a struggling mother! so what i mean is girl walk tall and thank the good Lord that you have an awesome job and i am sure u have an awesome dad and friends that you can confide in and forget that mean abusive jealous mother of yours like i did of mine~ good Luck and God bless~
2007-02-22 08:03:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
probaly not much you can do to make her stop but just let it go in one ear and out tha other. Nothing will ever be good enough for her anyway, and you cant controll her, she will always be a hag. Don't let anyone make you feel like your not worth anything! even if it is your own mom. You have lots to do in this world and lifes to short to keep feelin like crap cause your mom needs something to gripe about.
2007-02-22 08:22:53 · answer #6 · answered by Morbiddoll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you have a friend who's mother is the best cook in the world, has the cleanest house you ever saw, never nags her kids, she just does everything so much better than anyone else you know.
2007-02-22 07:47:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time just say "Mom, I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you. Perhaps if you had been a better mother, I would be a more successful person."
Say it every time she starts in on you. No arguing, no rebukes. Just the apology, and the explanation as to why you think you haven't achieve her perceived potential for you.
2007-02-22 07:45:32 · answer #8 · answered by jbtascam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you from experience that mother's expect you to be some one that your not. They compare you to others because their friends do it too. Ignore it. If you are compared to another person by your mother just ask "well does he make as much as I do WITHOUT a college degree?" It always works to shut them up.
2007-02-22 07:52:03 · answer #9 · answered by Meredith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love hurts sometimes...so, now is the time to tell her to flat SHUT UP AND LEAVE THE COMPARISONS ALONE",,,,,I know its crude and rude but, enough is enough.....good luck
2007-02-22 07:44:22 · answer #10 · answered by The Emperor of Ecstasy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋