how long will it take me to get over him?

Question

Im asking for a serious answer please. This is what im going throught. I was in a relationship for three years and he was my first love my first everything...i honestly thought he was going to be the man i was going to marry and the father of my kids. but as always we started arguing and well things ended. Its been two yrs that we havent been together and i still miss him so much.It been really hard because in this two years he has came back so many time he tells me that he still loves me and still misses me and that he will always love me and that he know that we will end up together one day. i was his first everything as well and i thought that maybe he just needed time to himself. ive heard of him having girlfriends here and there and that would hurt me so much but just recently he got with someone and well hes was with her for like 3 mths when i saw him on october last yr and he ofcourse again told me he loved me and to give him another chance. I did and he called that girl
to break up with her and i heard him tell her that he will never love her like he loves me etc etc and we tried it for like 2 wks and well things were just so diffrent and as much as we both wanted and tried it just wasnt there anymore so we both just went our own way. well i heard that he got back with that girl. whats up with that? last time i seen him was like one mth ago and he told me that he still loved me and missed me and that he will always love me but yet is still with that girl. ive tried moving on and dating guys but its so hard no one compared to what we had together. im so scared i will never be able to let go especially with him telling me what he has told me! i need help understanding

Answer 1

Its hard to move on while this person keeps entering and exiting your life my friend. Underder thest of circumstances healing takes time but it is ten times worse when the scab keeps getting ripped off repeatedly. It may be time for you to be proactive and recognize that as this person continues to hurt you it is not good for your mental well being. Cut the cord already and stop all communication. Enough is enough have some self respect and lose this loser. He doesnt seem like the type of person I would want to marry. In the end you need a person who is honest and who will "have your back" in todays rough and tumble world. Chin up there are plenty of available honest partners out there if you search hard enough. Dont settle for this garbage.

Answer 2

First off, you have given control of your life to someone else, and that is unhealthy on more levels then you can ever know.

Second, he's keeping you as an option, he is keeping you on the line so that he can come back to get what he wants from you when ever he wants. He's scum for doing that to you, and isn't mature enough to have you.

Third- in your mind and heart you need to move on, its been way to long, seek professional help.

Forth- tear down all the pictures and tare everything up that reminds you of him. Stop talking about him, and stop thinking about him.

Lastly, when he calls- don't answer, when he shows up tell him he can't love you anymore, and never has then walk away. If he touches you then call the police and report the assault.

He is not worth your time, he is treating you like dog do on the bottom of his shoe.

Answer 3

Time is the only thing that mends a broken heart. I think you are still hung up in your memories and since he was your first everthing you cant just forget that. I suggest that you move on with someone else and never compare that new person with your x. Also, if you try to work things out with your x and since you already felt things are different, you might end up hating this new person, You have to just let go... let the good memories remain as part of your learning and discovering new things and remain that way....

Answer 4

ITS hard to get rid of those feelings of a first of everything
but u need to let other men come into ur life
and stop comparing them to ur x
thats is wha is holding u back for movin on
so try to hang out have fun
and meet other people try to move on
if u guys are meant to be then u guys will find each other and work things out but dont urself from loving someone out there
for a guy that isnt urs right now
good luck

Answer 5

I feel and know your pain - the problem with us (women) is that we don't want to be alone (it's true you can't help who you love) so we except the bs for these guys in hopes that everything will be perfect. I have a question for you Who Do You LOVE More - Yourself or Him?
I ask this because if it's him you will continue holding on to him and whatever he does (ie, in and out your life, selling you dreams etc) will become "normal" to you and you will accept it.
If you love yourself more - you can look at the reflection in the mirror and know what to do. You will let him go and know that time heals all wounds and you will get over him.
Getting over him doesn't mean you have to stop loving and caring for him - it just means you have to let go and know that it wasn't meant to be.
Look at it like this: If you fell down and scraped your knee and it started to scab over, would you continue to pick the scab and make it bleed or would you just let it heal and fall off on its on so that your new skin can show. There may be a scar but it won't hurt anymore after the scab falls off.
Typing this to you is good for my soul as well - I love a man that says he loves me but he does things to hurt me - things that I can't seem to get out of my mind. And as much I want to be with him - I can't it hurts too much to stay - I rather hurt for now but know that in the future I'll be alright.

Answer 6

Of course, it's hard to move on, especially after being with someone for so long, but you've already tried getting back together and it didn't work out. I think it's one of those situations that if it's meant to be, it will work out. You can't force yourselves to be together, and you shouldn't. If things didn't work out the second time that should be an obvious sign. It's hard to move on past someone you've gotten so close to and so comfortable with, but he isn't the only one. The only reason you feel that way is because you had been with him for so long of a time. If anyone needs time to theirself, it's you. Your problem is that he keeps coming into your life giving you false hope. Apparently it's not going to work out, you've tried, so now try moving on. Try just going out with friends. Don't force yourself into a new relationship all of a sudden, that's where rebounding happens. Just enjoy your time with family and friends; you may find yourself to be happier than ever.

Answer 7

It is hard to let go, I'm having a similiar problem. If you tried to be together again and it didn't work out, then I'd say it probably will never be the way it once was. Who knows how long it will take to get over him, but just go with what your heart tells you.

Answer 8

that's a really sad story. however, if you get back together with him, it could seriously damage you emotionally. you need some time just to yourself, to get involved in other things, and forget about him. having good friends helps with that. I have found, that in my hardest times, I would rather be having fun with a ton of friends, single, than worrying about a relationship. You are obviously going through serious heartbreak, but time will eventually heal it. Your mind is still occupied by this guy, which is why you can't stop comparing him to your other dates. give yourself time to forget, and everything will be better.

Answer 9

He keeps telling you that he loves you to keep you holding on. Holding on while he goes out & dates other girls that is! It is all a game to him & he needs to grow up. Its not fair what he is doing to you, its like torture. You must be so unhappy & I feel for you. Please start to see the bad side of him & find yourself a new focus or goal to help wean yourself away from him. Find something that uses energy & requires alot of concentration from you. It strenghens the mind. You are purely living for him to come back to you. Well its not going to happen so keep telling yourself that. Come on, be strong. Stronger than you have ever had to be before in your life. There will be light at the end of the tunnel, I promise you.

Answer 10

I've been in the same situation as you and I will never get over the Woman of my dreams. She was everything to me and I think I was everything to her. Unfortunately we argued and couldn't always get along. I would continue to try dating others and remain friends. Sometimes that's what it takes or until one of you gets married. That is what happened to me she ended up getting married and to this day we remain friends. If its right God will find a way to make it work.