I used to live with my first cousin until we found another place. It was nervewrecking live there, things just wasn't going right, basically we was being used while living there, they had gotten to the point that they didn't want to buy food. I was nervewrecking so we moved out because we could no longer take this bullcrap. Anyway she and I aren't really speaking like we was before I moved in with her and her family and I feel that by me moving my family and my boyfriend in until I found a place really took away our closeness. She doesn't call me or come over to my new place. This is my first cousin and I really want us to have that closeness. What should I do?
2007-02-22 07:32:06 · 8 answers · asked by BabyGirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You basically tell her that you want to put all the BS into the past and work things out. I did that with my cousin not too long ago. We're like best friends now.
Call her or see her in person, apoligize and kiss and make up.
Good Luck! <3
2007-02-22 07:35:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's look at this from your cousins side, too. Even if you don't feel it is true, if you felt like they were taking advantage of you then it is possible they felt that you were taking advantage of them. That may be the reason they would not buy food any longer. It may not have been a conscience thing but feeling get bruised easily in tight quarters.
Tensions run high when different groups of people live together, even if they are family. Your cousin may feel the same way that you do. She may think you are upset with her and not calling her.
Call her and get together, just the two of you. Tell her how much you appreciate all her family did to help you out in your time of need and that you are sorry if you crossed the line at any time and made them feel unappreciated. Just clear the air with her....do not throw out any accusations. Don't get defensive if she tells you things that hurt your feelings. Tell her you would like to make a clean start. Tell her how much she and her family means to you and that you want to mend any hurt feeling and become best friends again. You have been cousins and friends for too long to let pride ruin a great relationship.
I am sure that she feels the same way. Good luck to you both.
2007-02-22 16:03:40 · answer #2 · answered by Mee-Maw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just reading your text, I get this feeling: that you struggle to survive. That you have children (perhaps out of wedlock) and a boyfriend who also struggles to survive and is in no way a responsible head of household. Not even married to you, so no commitment there.
By setting yourself up in that situation, yes, you are going to look like leeches to people who take you in 'until you find another place.' Your cousin is relating to you on that level - seeing you as a person who makes terrible choices - and while you can be forgiven some mistakes, this looks like a lifestyle choice to her - a really bad lifestyle choice on your part. It probably makes her mad and sad at the same time. No wonder she doesn't want to hang out with you now.
You sell yourself short in life. Don't do that. Think about changing your circumstances. Drop the boyfriend. Think about your future. Your cousin will never want that closness again with someone so demonstrably clueless.
2007-02-26 10:00:34 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her and let her know how you feel, tell her you miss being close to her and you don't want to lose that feeling. Invite her over to your place one day when it can be just you and her and have a special lunch together and just talk about the way you feel and ask her how she feels.
2007-02-22 16:08:08 · answer #4 · answered by Kellogg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because you cant live together, doesnt mean you cant still be friends. i would never wanna lose how close i am to my cousins.. you should give her a call and explain this to her. she might feel the same way
2007-02-22 15:36:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should sit her down and tell her how you feel. You did the right thing by leaving, and it may have not been your best choice moving in. So...tell her you know your at fault and if she is then your willing to forgive to. Hope this helps.
2007-02-22 15:38:05 · answer #6 · answered by divaL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her and tell her you miss the close relationship you had. Tell her you don't want to lose her friendship. Good luck.
2007-02-22 15:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's family. She'll come around.
2007-02-22 15:36:45 · answer #8 · answered by jayfrezzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋