34 years he left when she was 6 mths she is now 7 + the same thing he never sees her or pays maintance for her i work too keep us going what should i do stop him turning up when he wants (twice ayear)to see her she loves her daddy and misses him,i need money from him as she needs things his family arent interested i was the one who let him know where we where in hope he would see his daughter more i get no help.should i cut him out of our lives for good .tryed to sit down and talk he seems not interested i phone and let him know when school hols are etc she just wants a normal father who takes her out and sees her
2007-02-22 07:20:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
this is a really hard situation that my friend is also in its hard to get a balance, is it better for your daughter to have no contact with her dad or the little that she gets even though it hurts her because he doesnt see her often? you have to be careful about stopping him from seeing her as she may grow up to resent you for it. especially as you say she loves her daddy??? i think that you should take him to court though to try and get some money from him at the end of the day she is still his child and he should be providing for her.
2007-02-22 07:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by starburst81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
irregardless of what the situation, you should NEVER, EVER tell your daughter that her daddy doesn't care. I'm kinda going through the same situation, but my son sees his daddy every other weekend but still pays no child support. It's court ordered, but in our divorce papers, i can't withhold visitation due to nonpayment. It won't do you any good to talk to him about it, because,obviously, he doesn't care. Take the child support problem to Child support invorcement. if he's over a certain amount behind, then the will take care of him. as far as visitation, you can have that cut off completely, due to the situation.
2007-02-22 16:11:51 · answer #2 · answered by mommyof1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's 7 years old, she wont understand the politics of adult falling out. She will know that kids have a mother and father and if Dad is not around she has to know that that is not her fault,
, and she certainly should not be held up to ransom. Things need to be settled quickly between you and her father, leave out the rest of his family, if they are not interested that is their loss, and a big loss it is. If he does not want to know now, later may be too late for him, your daughter is growing up, in a few more years she will form her own opinions of people, what will he want her to think of him?
2007-02-22 15:42:19 · answer #3 · answered by debs7405 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It' a hard thing to try & keep things positive for your kids. Truthfully, from my expirience w/ my ex, you can't make them do what they don't want to. That sucks for us single parents 'cause we get to be mom & dad and still try to keep everything together. The only advice I can give is, love your daughter the way you do & try to instill in her that she is loved and it's not her fault that he's not around. Things might be tough right now, but when she's older (maybe even now) she'll know who was really there.
2007-02-22 15:33:42 · answer #4 · answered by MaMaMiLaJo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you are the one who needs to see him. You split up (for whatever reason) and should stay that way. You can let your daughter know that she has a father and when she is old enough she can visit him. As to the maintainance. Get the appropriate authorities involved.
2007-02-22 15:35:47 · answer #5 · answered by david_barnfield 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A sad but not unique situation. Do you have brothers or maybe a close family friend (male) that you could talk to. Perhaps they could spend some time with her and become like an uncle to her.
Then perhaps she wouldn't miss her daddy so much and if it came to telling him to stay away and she would not be so upset.
2007-02-22 15:31:23 · answer #6 · answered by Geoff E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think you would be better off if he just didn't bother coming back, ever.
If he is going to bounce in & out of your lives when he has a whim to play Daddy it will only upset your daughter. the older she gets the more she will suffer from each rejection.
2007-02-22 15:36:26 · answer #7 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time to get the courts involved. Cut him off until it is resolved. Visiting two times a year doesn't give him any rights.
2007-02-22 15:25:34 · answer #8 · answered by lee b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your daughter what she wants if she wants him there as much as he is willing or if she wants to give up on him after all its her feelings that get hurt my mom wasnt there alot growing up but i think it would have hurt more to never see her than to see her occsionally and about the support take the deadbeat to court and get some after all he played a part in the babymaking too
2007-02-22 16:09:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can men do this to there children take him to court and get all the child maintence u can all backdated to u why should u struggle when he obviously doesnt care... tell ur daughter the truth just sugar coat it a bit she is old enough to understand
2007-02-23 08:00:27 · answer #10 · answered by michelle m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋