I am 18, my boyfriend is 24. I am in love with him, but my mom doesn't approve. My mother and I have always had a close relationship, but it seems we have drifted, how do I make her understand my boyfriend is right for me.
2007-02-22 07:19:29 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was once there! Me and my mom were close too. She didn't approve of what is now my kids father. I sat with her and explained that i am grown and we wouldn't know if we weren't right for each other unless we gave each other a try. She didn't talk to me for a while and believe me when i say i cryed but It's hard to choose between your mother and boyfriend. I didn't make a decision she always came first but i wanted her to let go of what once was her little girl. Let me learn the hard way and after awhile she started to understand what i meant but to be honest it took some time. She didn't want him around she didn't want him to come to family gatherings nothing. I called one day and told her that my grandmother let her be an adult and make her choice whether she wanted to hear her out or not and i basically said to let me hit the bumps on the road alone....then like that i can understand what she was saying but without experiencing your self you will never understand her. It worked for me...it's worth a try. Let her know that your not a kid anymore and just like she learned the hard way she needs to let you do the same!
Good luck
2007-02-22 07:32:41 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Miss Self-Sufficient 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would follow these steps (and in fact I have):
1. Sit down with my Mother and ask her to explain clearly the reasons why she does not approve of him/her. I would not talk or argue, just listen. I would do this to get a clear understanding of my parents thoughts/feelings.
2. I would take time and SERIOUSLY consider my mother's points. Is she right? Even if I don't like it, does she have a point? Parents are there to HELP GUIDE US. Not to ruin our lives, so they have good thoughts.
3. If I decide that my mother is right, break up (or make the corresponding changes). If I decide she is wrong, I would wait a long time before deciding for sure this is "the person for me." It's not just my life I bring people into, but my families lives so I want to be sure.
4. If I decide to stay with the person... after a long while of trying to be better in every way I would then explain to my Mother the decision in a loving gentle way, and leave it at that.
2007-02-22 15:28:39 · answer #2 · answered by sophos707 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you can not make your mother approve of your boyfriend. You just have to hope that eventually she will come round. I was 18 when I met my partner, and mum couldn't stand him, he was 23 and somewhat of a rogue. My mother and I argued almost everyday for 6 months until I finally had enough and moved out. Best thing I could have done. My partner and I have now been together for 4 years and we have two wonderful children together, and surprise surprise, my mother has come round and accepted that my now fiance is the man I want to spend my life with. You can't sacrifice your own happiness in order to make someone happy. Your mum needs to let go of the apron strings a bit and let you make your own mistakes.
2007-02-22 15:29:08 · answer #3 · answered by Barkditch 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out WHY she doesnt approve. Either give her reasons to not think that way anymore, or really listen to what she says. She might very well have some legitimate reasons she doesnt like him. Good luck
2007-02-22 15:54:35 · answer #4 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately it is your choice who you date, and you should not break up with him just because your mom doesn't like him.
However, I think you should ask your mom why she disapproves of your relationship. Listen to her reasons and express that you respect them, but that you are an adult and whom you date is your choice. Unless she has evidence that he his going to hurt you or something, you need to find things out about your bofyriend on your own. Good luck and I hope everything works out :)
2007-02-22 15:27:34 · answer #5 · answered by Green-eyed Nikki 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her your an adult,and you are responsible for your life. Ask her to explain her concerns about this man, and really listen and when she is finished tell her why he's right for you. If you act like and adult she will treat you like one, and maybe respect your decision to be with your boyfriend.
2007-02-22 15:24:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u don't have to break up with your boyfriend just because your mother doesn't approve it doesn't matter what she thinks what matters is how you feel if you let your mother choose who you should be with you probably wouldn't have any one parents never think any one's good enough for their children
2007-02-22 15:25:18 · answer #7 · answered by superstar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you have your boyfriend talk to her like a man and tell your mom how he feels about you and how he will take care of you and so on??? i was in the same situation and he did that and now they aren't friends but she respects my decision to be with him.
2007-02-22 15:25:15 · answer #8 · answered by suzukigirl06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore your mom. If she doesn't approve or like him, that's her problem.
You love him and remember that it's your life. You should live it to YOUR standards and to YOUR satisfication.
NOT YOUR MOTHER'S!!!!!
Good Luck!
2007-02-22 15:30:35 · answer #9 · answered by Rainy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he might be a little onlder than you but who cares. if you love him there is no fourse in the world not even your mother that can keep you from the one you love.
2007-02-22 15:26:46 · answer #10 · answered by blah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋