Im moving to portland oregon with my boyfriend soon and my mom told me she wouldnt come see me should i be mad

Question

She has a fear of flying but i told her she could ride the train or bus but she still said she wouldn't come to visit. Im wondering what will happen when we get to Portland and in various situations i get pregnant, im wondering would she come to see the baby? If something happened to me would she come see about me. This makes me think she doesn't have any interest in my life or if she loves me like she says she does. Am i overreacting about my feelings towards this

Answer 1

She's just sad and afraid and this is how she is reacting to it. It's not a healty reaction but she probably feels helpless. Also some people despise or fear traveling. I dont know how far away she will be you didnt say.
If she has been a good mom in other ways I wouldnt take her threat seriously. You might reassure her how much you love her and will miss her. Maybe you can get a phone with unlimited minutes so you can talk to her often so she will know she is still a part of your life.

Answer 2

No, you aren't overreacting. I moved away from home many years ago and my mother barely comes to visit. I know she doesn't like driving this far (9 hours), but she oftentimes won't take me up on tickets to fly down here as well. She states she needs to work for the money. She came to visit once.
When I had my first child she visited 2x. When I was sick/hospitalized she didn't come. When I graduated from college, she didn't come. When I had my second child (recently), she didn't come.
I expected this.
Not to carry on with my own situation, but I've learned from all of this that you cannot bother with being angry about it because you cannot change a person. It stinks...it really does, but I think I spent too much energy early on being angry about it. I feel as though she will have to deal with seeing less of her grandsons. It's too bad, really.
Maybe just wait and see. You never know. She totally could come around.
Especially when grandchildren are involved.
Good luck!!!

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Yes, you are over reacting and so is your mother.
Once you have a child - she'll come, don't worry about it and if she doesn't then you can go to her but only after the kid is at least 1 year old.
It's just too bad she's this way - she really doesn't know what she's missing or will be missing.

Answer 5

She may just be afraid she's losing you. Giving you an ultimatum isn't the way to go, but hey.
Stay in touch, call her often, send "Just thinking of you" cards, ask for advice/her opinions. Let her know she is still a valued part of your life, she'll come around.

Answer 6

Need to grow up and move on! I wish my mom didn't want to visit!!!! lucky you. Wave bye bye and say hope you come visit. Your life will go on.

Answer 7

Maybe she's disappointed that you're shacking up with this guy out of wedlock and feels visiting will condone your actions.
That would be how I'd feel.

Answer 8

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS LEAVING -
MAYBE IT'S YOU WHO HAS NO INTEREST IN HER

ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY THIS GUY ARE YOU JUST SHACKING UP?