well i have said stuff and he says that they are just freinds but i have a hard time trusting people and i dont want to over exagerate it and then lose him if they really are just freinds but im just not sure how to know i have been cheated on before and i cant seem to trust him how to i figureout what to do?
2007-02-22 07:16:52 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i don't know but i'm going through the same thing...what i do is i just tell him how i feel and that seems to work but it's really hard
2007-02-22 07:20:15 · answer #1 · answered by ♥chloe♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, the way i see it is that almost all of us have been cheated on, and i know it is hard but in order to have a successful relationship with someone else, you really can't be jealous because of the past. #1, guys hate jealous girlfriends, and almost always cheat on them first. #2 evaluate the situation, and if he had these friends before you got involved, as hard as it is for you to hear this, you really can't expect him to change and drop everything and everyone, because you guys are dating now. That really isn't fair. It is also not fair of you to ask him to stop making friends because they are of the opposite sex. It is very hard to get back in a relationship after you have been cheated on, and extremely hard to trust again, and just to let you know i am speaking from experience. Only time can heal those wounds. In my opinion all you can do right now is hang in there, and act cool if you can, about a few things, and see how it works out. If there are some things that he does that are unacceptable to you because you are in this relationship, let him know, by calmly telling him that you really don't like that, but never yell, because men don't respond at all to that. I know that my husband told me that in College he had a girlfriend that accused him of cheating with everyone, and he wasn't , so eventually, he did, just because he said if he is getting in trouble for doing something that he's not doing, then he might as well be doing it. That 's just the male perspective i guess. makes sense to me. I would say that before you let these unnecessary feelings of jealousy out, you should evaluate it like a man would, think rationally, don't just get all worked up about nothing because then you wasted valuable time and energy. No sense in losing a good man over these petty feelings of insecurity and past wounds.
2007-02-22 16:33:55 · answer #2 · answered by Lovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should trust him until he gives u a reason not to trust him, u cant make him pay because of what some else did to u, everybody has been cheated on at lease once, even if they dont know about it. but that dosent mean the next person is going to do it, if u saw a guy friend that u didnt see in a long time the first thing he would do is hug u it might not mean anything but what if your man started asting a fool about u hugging another man. so see u got to look at it both ways.
2007-02-22 15:28:22 · answer #3 · answered by ThinkingAboutIt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him I am a jelous person beccause I have a great guy like you, I have been cheated on in the past and I don't want to make a mistake in are realtionship. I just wanted to tell you how I feel and I will not act on it, but just telling you I love you ;-)
2007-02-22 15:22:12 · answer #4 · answered by ocman22gg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the first step IMO would be to stop comparing him to your ex's..
they MAY have cheated, but that doesn't mean HE will..
but a Jealous lover will drive a man into another's arms..
and that's a PROMISE..
so try, even if it's hard, to give him the benefit of the doubt...
if he proves he's NOT to be trusted, you can CASTRATE him afterwards and then move on lol.. but for the time being... learn to TRUST
2007-02-22 15:20:45 · answer #5 · answered by Supreme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋