A woman told you that she thinks of you as a brother, after you expressed romantic feelings for her? I'm asking this because recently, one of my friends revealed to me that he has strong feelings for me. He then asked me to let him know how I feel about him, but I have responded to him yet. He said all this in a text message. I don't want to hurt his feelings or his ego, but I honestly do think of him like a brother. We've known one another for years, are very close, and spend a lot of time together, just like family. But i'm not at all attracted to him. In this situation is it best just to be honest and tell him that I see him in a more brotherly manner, or should I just stick with telling him I see him as a friend. I just thought that by telling him I see our relationship as a brother-sister type thing, would show him just how close I feel to him in this friendship...but I don't want to bruise his ego. What do you think?
2007-02-22 06:57:15 · 11 answers · asked by Shannon83 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
someone gave me an answer to a question that i asked like that. he said as long as you let them think that there is even the slightest possibility that they will think the wrong way.
so my suggestion is to be up front. tell him that although you think highly of him, and are flattered that he feels that way about you, that your friendship means more to you than a relationship ever could. and you don't want to lose him.
i can't think of how to make it easier, just be honest. that's all you can do.
good luck, guys can be thick headed
2007-02-22 07:05:20 · answer #1 · answered by lil' angel 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not a guy, but I've been in this situation before, more than once. You have to be honest with him. Tell him that you value your friendship with him and love him like a brother and that you're sorry if you ever did anything to make him think any differently. Don't give him the impression that anything could happen in the future either. You don't want to keep him waiting or make him think that someday something will happen. Some guys can handle it, just being friends with a girl, but don't be surprised if he can't. I had a friend a few years ago that I knew for a long time and was really close to , we hung out all the time. But when he revealed his feelings for me and I told him how i felt, he backed off, quit calling and now I haven't talked to him for a few years. I have another male friend, kind of the same situation, and when same thing came up, he was able to handle it and we're still friends. That was 4 years ago. You don't know how he'll react but either way, you have to be honest.
2007-02-22 07:13:12 · answer #2 · answered by myemmoe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haven't we all faced situations like this and I mean both sexes here. It's gonna hurt face it rejection hurts. But it might ease the pain to know that you still love him like he's your brother and you value his friendship and advice and time spent together. Just let him know that you have no romantic or attraction feelings for him. Hopefully he understands and remains your friend. In time tho I'd not be too suprized if you really do start having feelings for him after you've tried and tried but keep getting dumped by guys and he's the one who's still there loving you as a sister but in his heart he's in love with you. I faced a situation like that this past year but she's on my off list for now. ARG. Young people are so out of it some times. LOL.
2007-02-22 07:05:53 · answer #3 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Express your true feelings he deserves nothing less. Help him to understand that he deserves to have someone feel the same way about him. He wants to know how you feel so tell him. Don't keep him guessing he will respect you for this and most importantly he won't be as hurt. Just build up his ego of how he's a wonderful person and you want him to have someone who can reciprocate those same feelings he has for you. It wouldn't be fair to him to believe that there could be something more with you when you feel how you feel. Feelings are feelings and no one can change that. If he can't respect that and understand then he's inmature and needs to understand that there's someone out there for him he just needs to evaluate and appreciate the friend he has in you. Who knows maybe someday you will be attracted to him in that way I've seen it happen.
2007-02-22 07:10:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
his ego will be bruised no matter what you say... and speaking from experience... it hurts to just hear the friends excuse... and i think there is a good chance that your friendship will never be the same... he doesn't want a friend... he wants a special someone... having said that... he may say your response is okay... but he will be torn inside and only stay with you in hopes you change your mind...
2007-02-22 07:04:10 · answer #5 · answered by dallasguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would. If I started having feelings for a girl, I would not want to suppress it and go back to being just friends. Rejection is rejection, whether it's from a stranger or friend. It all hurts.
2007-02-22 07:00:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes tell him. it is best to know up front. life goes on. if you are friends and he wants you as a friend he will maybe be a little disappointed but a true friend will still be there. maybe sometime down the road you may find him attracteing as more than a friend.
2007-02-22 07:03:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him. No ifs or buts about it. Either he'll run or stay a friend. Good luck.
2007-02-22 07:01:30 · answer #8 · answered by Rusty Shackleford 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't,because it means the she wants to be my friend,at least is better than her telling me that she hates me.
2007-02-23 07:50:59 · answer #9 · answered by NONAME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always be honest.
2007-02-22 07:00:45 · answer #10 · answered by ropemancometh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋