Do i call the wedding off?....Help!!?

Question

My fiance and i practily grew up together and we have been together for 4 years now. we are supposed to get marry in 10 days, but today we had a really big argument. The problem is not that we argued, but that everytime he gets mad he calls me a *****. He had stop doing this, but now he is doing it again. Its sad because he is a great guy aside from that, but when he gets angry he lets his anger control him. I know i love him, but i'm also no willing to put up with this and now i don't know if to call the wedding off or not?

Answer 1

It sounds like this guy has some major anger issues. I think it's time to sit down with a professional. Don't hesitate in postponing your wedding, if necessary. It's always better to be late and 100% sure than deal with a bad marriage.

Answer 2

You know the real reason you can't have the bride and groom see each other before the wedding? They would argue and call it off.
There is just too much stress on people in the week before the wedding, if his behavior was acceptable before than it will be again with out this huge stressor in your lives, you might also learn together how to back out of a fight instead of jumping in, it come in handy.

Answer 3

I would SERIOUSLY sit down and talk to him about this. He may not even realize how it's affecting you. If you both love each other,he'll see and understand what's happening and change his behavior (yes, it can be done). Let him know exactly what you mean about wanting to be with him but this mess has to stop. Ask family members and friends etc and people he knows as well and get their opinions. If you are absolutely not sure of the wedding, you can postpone it and work through things. Just remember, you HAVE options. Good luck!

Answer 4

Follow your heart..but just know if he's verbally abusive then more then likely he'll turn physical. It's not a good thing that when he gets mad that he let's his anger get the best of him, maybe postpone the wedding until he seeks anger management classes and has it under control. You don't want to bring a child into a abusive relationship.

Answer 5

Ok, I'm getting married soon too, so I know how the stress levels can be sky-high around this time, but that is not an excuse for treating the person you "love" like trash. Why would you want to marry someone who treats you that way? Don't you deserve better? ---No, scratch that, YOU DO DESERVE BETTER. I know I sound like some women's rights psycho, but I believe that every person, not just woman, should have extremely high expectations in her future spouse. Maybe the scum out there would change if they realized that no one would put up with them anymore.

Sorry for ranting and raving, but I have too many friends, myself included, who put up with crap from their guys because they "love(d)" them. The truth is that they don't have enough confidence in themselves to demand better. I hope this helps and good luck to you--you deserve to be happy and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.

Answer 6

I think don't think you should proceed with a marriage if there is issue of concern regarding verbal abuse and anger management issues. If it were me, I would postpone the wedding and continue counseling together to discuss your issues and he needs to get some anger management as well. It's always hard to postpone things when it's so close, especially when you consider all of the costs involved, people invited, etc. But a wedding is not as important as a marriage and in my opinion, you need to resolve this issues before moving forward.

Answer 7

i would talk to him and sugguest that he get some counseling to help with his anger because its unfair to you to be called names regardless if he only says it because of an argument. I'm sure there will be many more arguments and when you two decide to have kids you wouldn't want them to pick up on that and think thats the proper way to be treated or to treat others.

If he's not willing to seek counseling, i would tell then your going to put the wedding on hold until he does.

If he truly loves you, he will be willing to get help for his anger problem. If not then its best you find out before you tie the knot.

Good Luck

Answer 8

Couldn't point bdftgsreg but he is dead-on.

Postpone the wedding until this issue is dealt with through counselling. If your fiance won't go..........

You see, we teach people how to treat us. If he is doing this now, while he's got his 'company manners' on, what will he be like in the privacy ofhis own home??!

Call all of your vendors, NOW. Explain to them that the wedding HAS to be postponed, (you are not required to give a reason) . You should not lose any of your deposits, etc.
And if you do, it's a small price to pay for what it will cost you in lawyer's fees & emotional damage.

Answer 9

Great question ..............I think you both are feeling wedding day jitters. You both need to sit down and talk things through. also keep in mind ...................just because you love him doesn't mean his is the right one for you. In addition, make sure you discuss all the things that you might uncomfortable with before jumping the broom simple because you don't want these simple problems to turn into serious issues once married. Also be ready for him telling you things his is uncomfortable with about you too.

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear this. But if you love him and want to be with him and you think he is the best guy out there for you then don't call it off. But you do have to tell him how you feel about what he said and tell him you wont put up with it. If he agrees or understands and is willing to try to stop then forget about it. But if he is stubborn then do what you have to do.