CHEAP?? I don't have kids so sometimes when I meet a guy that does have kids, is paying support, etc. he automatically assumes I'm going to help pay for things. I don't mind to a point but sometimes it's pretty obvious what's happening!
2007-02-22 06:45:48 · 22 answers · asked by COblonde 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We have gone to a concert in which the tickets were free. I paid for around of drinks as did he. we went to a movie, I paid for the movie, I got there earlier so just got the tickets due to a line. We went out for a drink on Fat Tues. & he asked me to pay because he had no cash, that one was a first big clue & this was happy hour time, no dinner or appetizers.
2007-02-22 06:58:30 · update #1
I am old-fashioned, and think that whomever initiates the date should pay for the date, period.
2007-02-22 06:48:56 · answer #1 · answered by John J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've dated a guy that was in his early 30s and had a few kids. Same thing happened to me. We hung out along but didn't GO out to dinner or movies, etc. I tried to be sensitive about his situation (I don't have children) but I asked myself this, "If he wants to be with me, then he has to PURSUE me." I have a good job and I can certainly feed myself but the whole point about dating is GOING OUT and learning about each other.
I think you're a lot nicer than me...I don't mind paying on dates but it should be 50/50. No man should asssume a new woman is going to be understanding of his circumstance - maybe to a certain degree but it doesn't have him the right to be lazy or cheap.
Honey...if you feel you are being taken advantge of...move on. There are men out there (with or without) kids that would treat you better and make you fell more appreicated.
2007-02-22 06:57:52 · answer #2 · answered by sweetsxyazn2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, why do you automatically assume he is to pay for the whole thing too? I know about all that tradition yadda yadda but there comes a point where we all act like adults and share responsibility. You're setting yourself up for failure by condemning the people you date based on who pays for dinner. Be a deeper person than that. Use it to your advantage!
Pick a resturaunt you like and bring it up in conversation, "oooh i really like Freddy Finches Hunan, they have great food" and feel it out from there, maybe he doesnt like that kind of food and counters with his own suggestion. Then reply with "Hey that sounds like a nice place, do you want to give it a try?" (Dont make reservations and choose the place and everything then invite him along because then its completely your idea and it would be almost weird for him to feel obigated to pay at that point.)
Also consider that maybe he doesnt like eating out. Personally I dont enjoy as much and I prefer to cook. I get disappointed way to often eating at resturaunts.
As long as the idea is also partly his, its should leave in question who should pay. Now you both go, eat and when the check comes dont do anything, dont look at it, just thank the server for bringing it. Count to 5 and if he hasnt grabbed it by then, get it. Insist on paying for it no matter what he says. Then counter with, "You get the next one".
If he picks up the check, be thankful and dont even let on at all that you expect him to pay for it. There is nothing worse than taking someone out for dinner and feeling that they did not appreciate it in any way at all. It goes the other way too, if you end up paying then he should be thankful. Were not talking lick each others feet thankful but a simple "Hey thank you for paying".
If you pay and he doesnt thank you then thats the sign you were looking for. He's a loser. Its not about who pays but who appreciates what another person does and reciprocates the effort.
2007-02-22 07:02:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it all depends what you are doing on the first 3 dates. Have you gone anywhere? If you are hanging out, and any sex has happened, then he's just taking what he can get for free. If you've gone anywhere and he's paid or if he is making you dinner or something then I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe he's doesn't have the fancy restaurant money but if he's a good guy then it doesn't matter.
2007-02-22 06:52:21 · answer #4 · answered by debrenee211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand you picking up the movie tickets because you got there before him, but asking you to buy the drinks because he doesn't have any cash? Who doesn't bring cash on a date? And even if he didn't have cash, why not just use a credit card?
Whether he's cheap or just broke, you can't respect a man who feels comfortable leeching off a woman.
2007-02-23 05:19:54 · answer #5 · answered by Joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kind of depends on the guy! I've met a few that were just plain CHEAP and figured I'd pay..LMAO! Watch out for them, they are USERS! Others do have a hard time making their ends meet. Those are the kinds that you suggest making dinner at home TOGETHER! Be specific on what they should bring to contribute!
2007-02-22 06:51:10 · answer #6 · answered by Sandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say yes to them being cheap. It's common courtsy and manners that if someone asks you out on a date; they take care of activities; let's face it; YOU are the one accompanying the man to do something with him =). I dated and became engaged to a guy last year after five months of dating and trust me, the man was cheap. I paid half for a lot of things, he has two children grade school age. Ex: He wouldn't use his garage door to save wear and tear on it so he wouldn't have to pay to get it fixed. That's going to extremes though but it's the same idea. You deserve better; go for it girl!!! Keep me posted!
2007-02-22 06:50:52 · answer #7 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's cheap. Let me tell you something, I'mm 55 and I've been dating for 40 years and never has a woman paid a single cent for anything while out on a date with me.
2007-02-22 06:50:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's not cheap just out of the game, maybe he hasn't dated in a while and forgot that women like to be taken out and shown a good time instead of just hanging around the house like he's probably used to with his ex wife.
2007-02-22 06:53:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he wants to make sure you aren't one of those women who use men as "dinner machines" under the pretense of dating. And there are many of them. Calling him cheap is like saying a woman is frigid if she hasn't put out by the 4th date.
2007-02-22 06:50:23 · answer #10 · answered by Atlas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, take my word for it, he's a cheapskate, he's taking advantage of you and he will NEVER change. As long as you're willing to either help foot the bill or pay for it entirely, he'll take advantage of you as long as you let him. I think it's time to put your foot down and let him know that under no circumstances will you EVER pay for your or anyone elses way again! Also let him know that it's the man that courts the woman not the other way around! He sounds like a REAL LOSER to me. I say dump him!
2007-02-22 07:20:12 · answer #11 · answered by lilbit48vmb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋