I have this friend, well, he's getting to be more than a friend, to use an overused term. We dated for about two months two years ago, but we're still friends (acfter the initial getting over the break-up time period). Now, we're all cuddly, and he's super affectionate towards me. He says he loves me, yet, when people ask if we're dating (we kind of act that way), he says, "No we're not." and then says something to the affects of "And we're not going to."
I don't want to be his friend with benefits, if that's what he'd going for. But, the way he does things, and the way he talks to me, it's like there's more to this that that, like maybe he wants to be with me again, but he doesn't want social pressure, or something.
What do you suggest I do in this situation?
2007-02-22 06:41:45 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey!!! I think I can help..
I have been through this situation and have a friend going through it right now. I have a best friend that used to be able to take total advantage of me...I liked him sooo much and he claimed to like me too...He told me he didnt want a BF/GF relationship because he wasn't into the whole title thing...He also told me scence he was in a band he thought it was best to stay lookin' solo. Well I later learned it was all away to just not take things serously and beable to do what he wants with me..But in the end...It was all a way of using me...I know its prolly not what you wanted to hear but mabey you should talk to him and tell him that you arn't interested in having a relationship without common commitment...If he understands and aggree's with you...Than he's a keeper...But if he dosent...Mabey he is just best friend material...Keep having fun with him..But don't let him control you...And don't do things you know he is using you to get or somthing you may regret...
Hope I could help sweetie.
XoXo
Nicole
2007-02-22 06:55:05 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah Nicole O'Byrne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's exactly what it is to him. A friendship with benefits. And as long as you allow it to happen, he's gonna take advantage of it. Men will say anything under the sun because you're craving and needing that attention. The reason why women get hurt at the end is because they're deaf, mute and dumb when they are vulnerable and in need of some TLC. Sorry!
Wake up before it's too late.
2007-02-22 14:48:46 · answer #2 · answered by hope 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He made it clear that he isnt your boyfriend so friends with benefits is what he maybe trying to but out there but what ever you do DONT GIVE HIM WHAT U WOULD MAKE THE NEXT PERSON WORK FOR treat him just like a friend that is how he making everyone believe dont let his games fool u show him you dont tolerate it & if he gets mad oh well dont put yourself out on line for a friend he just may love u as a friend but he needs to make that clear
2007-02-22 14:59:49 · answer #3 · answered by DEFINE WHAT LUV IS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he doesn't want to make a solid commitment to dating you and being involved. It might be time for you to suggest that you both separate for awhile to think things out, just to see how he reacts. I don't see why there would be "social pressure"
with just dating and caring for someone.
2007-02-22 14:48:21 · answer #4 · answered by Suzie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're acting like it's up to him to decide if you will date one another.
Newsflash! You're part of that equation!
If he tells everyone you're not dating, then behind closed doors is all cutesy to you, then he IS just trying to make you a f-buddy.
Sorry, but that is pretty clear!
Don't bend to his will--he'll chase you more if you don't play his little game. But when he does chase you more, shoot him down because he is scum. Get over the looks and the way he makes your tummy all fluttery. He is scum, and you'll regret hooking up with him later, I promise!
2007-02-22 14:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by f8_smyled 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd cut it off before it gets even more serious. You're only going to end up hurting yourself. It looks like you're trying to find reasons to justify being around him.
Leave him and let him be. What happens after that will be the answer you're looking for.
2007-02-22 14:49:21 · answer #6 · answered by kimchee_boi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him... gently but directly... if you can not get direct answers you are comfortable with... cool it... or end it... if there is equivocation there is no trust... if there is no trust.... well... you decide.... the same applies to you... if you can not be direct and honest with him then you need to review you position as well... trust. openness and honesty... if any of the three are missing in either of you ... cool it... you are correct in not allowing it to be just for the "benefits"
2007-02-22 15:49:44 · answer #7 · answered by idahomike2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just maybe he is affaird of a committment. keep it as friends until he states something else. Don't let him think you are head over hills in love with him. Just let him think his doing all the driving.
2007-02-22 14:48:10 · answer #8 · answered by love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you don't want to be friends with benefits and that if he is going to cuddle with you and be affectionate, it should be sincere.
2007-02-22 14:47:08 · answer #9 · answered by Nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you want a commitment and you want the world to know!
2007-02-22 14:46:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋