I have lived with my boyfriend for over a year. We met on an online dating site, and I moved out of state to be with him 9 mos after we met. This past weekend I go to put in a internet IP address on his log-in (he just left it like that without logging off as he usually does). When I go to put in the address, it shows his previous online history and listed is www.match.com, the same site where we originally met. Under "properties, " it says he was last on there earlier that day. In addition I see where he's looked at several local girls' pages on myspace. When I confront him, he claims he did it purposely to see whetehr I was snooping on his online account. I don't know whether to believe him that he was just "testing" me. It has made me want to go on those dating sites again myself since he seems to have no interest in me since he's looking at others. yet he acts his normal self at home and is pretty affectionate. So what gives?
2007-02-22 06:32:45 · 20 answers · asked by dizzylizzy20_11 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well maybe he was testing you, maybe he wasn't. But honestly..if he's your boyfriend and you love him. TRUST HIM..that's the number one thing in a relationship. And if he screws you over, well then he's not good enough for you..and if he doesn't then all the more reason to trust him. And let's say you continue not to trust him..well it could only lead to bad things (even if he was just testing you).
~G
2007-02-22 06:36:45 · answer #1 · answered by Dorkus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is that if he's acting the same at home then dont worry about it......if drastic changes occur then thats when you should start to be worried.
If he is still affectionate dont bother to stress, if he's is the same at home. Maybe he was just bored or a little curious so dont let it get to you...you can also tell him that you dont like the idea of him going on personals.
Also follow your instinct.
2007-02-22 06:41:44 · answer #2 · answered by dainty_baby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason for him to be "testing" you. I think you caught him being up to no good and now he's trying to cover it up. It doesn't necessarily mean that he really is looking for someone else, though. You guys just need to have an open discussion about it. Either you can settle your differences, or you can't. But you're better off knowing now, rather than 10 years from now. Good luck!
2007-02-22 06:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are living together, do you have access to bank accounts? You can see if he's still paying for match.com. If the charges aren't there....he can only look, not talk to them. You can't read any email without paying. If he's only looking but staying home with you....I don't see an issue. If he is actually talking to them, then there is a problem.
2007-02-22 06:38:45 · answer #4 · answered by debrenee211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what I think you should do. Set up a fake profile on match.com and/or a fake myspace page and use another girl's picture. If you boyfriend has a myspace page, send him an email through myspace from the 'fake' girl's myspace account and see if he writes her back and what he says and how far he'd go with her.
2007-02-22 06:37:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming you've had the "commitment" conversation?
I can't see a guy doing this just to test you, but maybe he is.
But then he's also looking at other profiles.
Have you asked him to delete his profile because it would make you feel better? Just let him know how you feel about him still having an account.
2007-02-22 06:37:46 · answer #6 · answered by frozenpancake582 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Install a keylogger and monitor him is he looking or actively participating? Do you know eher he is always does he disappear for a day at a time?
Sometimes its just fun to check to see whos available in the match world sites
2007-02-22 06:38:02 · answer #7 · answered by god knows and sees else Yahoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants to have his cake and eat it too...
He wants one foot in the sea, and one on shore...
He's immature, darling. If he is looking for someone else and not being a man by telling you he's not interested in you anymore, then he is an immature little boy.
He probably thinks he will hurt your feelings by telling you he's not that interested in you. He probably also thinks he is just making sure he's not missing out on someone better for him. What he's doing is natural--checking out his options--but if he's going to "test" you by seeing if you're snooping on him, then that really means he doesn't want to get caught communicating with other women. That doesn't mean he doesn't like you--it just means he'd rather like someone else!
So you have to decide--put up with this guy who's sort of nice to you when no one's looking and who is in the process of trying to replace you, OR respect yourself and bounce outta there before he drops you like you're hot.
2007-02-22 06:41:40 · answer #8 · answered by f8_smyled 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't buy the "testing" line he is shooting you. Why should he be "testing" you anyway? You can assume that he has been checking out other girls online and may even be hitting on them.
You have a decision to make, regarding he and your future, don't you.
2007-02-22 06:37:00 · answer #9 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep checking for awhile and if he is still visiting these sites don't say anything. if he is really just doing it to see if you are snooping and you say nothing, he should stop because he doesn't know you are snooping!! if he doesn't stop you should try talking to him again and see if he has the same excuse. if he does, i would leave him, but thats just me.
2007-02-22 06:38:25 · answer #10 · answered by heather l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋